REVIEW: Taco Bell Jalapeno Ranch Nacho Fries

Over the past few years, Taco Bell has reached out to sauce makers most have never heard of to feature their products on the fast food chain’s Nacho fries. Remember Yellowbird? How about TRUFF? Secret Aardvark? But for the latest, Taco Bell uses a sauce made in-house with its Jalapeño Ranch Nacho Fries.

The loaded spuds offering has seasoned beef, jalapeño ranch sauce, reduced fat sour cream, nacho cheese sauce, cheddar cheese, and pico de gallo on its Nacho Fries. There’s also a veggie version being advertised that swaps the seasoned beef with black beans.

The sauce du jour has a pleasant green color that makes it look like Taco Bell’s Avocado Verde Salsa, but it was not as tasty or spicy as the sauce that debuted with the chain’s Cantina Chicken Menu. I’m pretty sure I didn’t notice the jalapeño ranch because it was overwhelmed by the other gloopy condiments, the nacho cheese sauce and the reduced fat sour cream. At times, there was a minuscule level of heat, but for the most part it was tame.

I think my taste buds were more impressed with the addition of pico de gallo. It’s been on other limited-time Nacho Fries offerings, but this was the first time my mouth was experiencing it and I think it should be on all loaded Nacho Fries. Or I’ll just add it to whatever Taco Bell offers in the future since it’s so easy to customize via the app. The acidic punch from the tomatoes and the bite from the onions add a freshness that helps cut through the savoriness of all the sauces.

While I didn’t find the headlining sauce to be too noticeable, that doesn’t mean Taco Bell’s Jalapeño Ranch Nacho Fries are a complete fail. Yes, the combination of the seasoned beef, sour cream, and nacho cheese sauce makes these fries taste too similar to many other Taco Bell menu items. But overall, it tastes fine. Though, I’d recommend spending a little bit more to customize it with more jalapeño ranch.

Purchased Price: $5.99*
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 480 calories, 31 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 1080 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Cheesy Street Chalupas

If you were to ask me what I thought was the best thing Taco Bell has ever done, I’d answer without hesitation: the Chalupa. There have been variations of the original, but rarely have they outshined the OG. When I went into the app to order, a pop-up informed me of the newest menu item: the Cheesy Street Chalupa. Originally a test menu item from October of 2023, the Cheesy Street Chalupas consist of smaller Chalupa shells stuffed with mozzarella and pepper jack cheese, either steak or Cantina Chicken, Jalapeño Ranch, fresh onions, and cilantro.

Ordering the item gets you two smaller Chalupas that I’d estimate are about half the size of a regular Chalupa but much more dense because they’re stuffed with cheese. Unfortunately, you cannot ask for one of each protein when ordering a pair. I get why (to keep the process easy for the employees), but for the sake of trying them, it would have been nice to mix and match. They come in branded, specialty packaging that helps to keep them from getting too messy in transit.

Starting with the Steak Cheesy Street Chalupa, I was impressed by its heft. Knowing it was smaller than the standard item, I worried it would also be less substantial. My first bite would prove that thought to be very wrong. The first flavor to hit was a familiar one of salty steak, followed by the brightness of the fresh onions and cilantro and the creaminess of the Jalapeño Ranch sauce. I could tell cheese was present between the shells, but it wasn’t strong enough to stand out. I was also (pleasantly) overwhelmed by the amount of bread in the bite.

I didn’t hate the Steak variety, but it didn’t wow me. The flavors all seemed to be working independently of one another and not creating a cohesive experience.

After a swig of Baja Blast, I tried the Cantina Chicken Cheesy Street Chalupa. The difference was like night and day. The flavor of the Cantina Chicken works so unbelievably well in this item. The roasted chicken works with the fresh onions, cilantro, and Jalapeño Ranch sauce to create what is probably the closest I’ve had to “authentic flavor” at Taco Bell. If I had to point to a negative, it would be the lack of pepper jack flavor in the cheese between the shells, but I don’t think it is missed much.

I would be failing you, dear reader, if I didn’t mention the bready nature of this item. While I loved it, some may not like the bread-to-toppings ratio. These items had an almost bao bun vibe in that the bread was very much a star.

The Taco Bell Cheesy Street Chalupas are a nice limited-time offering. While the Steak version didn’t quite meet my expectations, the Cantina Chicken knocked it out of the park. Both succeed in offering a new flavor profile to the menu and will (hopefully) lead to more uniquely flavored menu items. These little bread bombs are available for a limited time, so I would definitely recommend trying them while you can.

Purchased Price: $5.49 each
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Steak), 10 out of 10 (Cantina Chicken)
Nutrition Facts: Steak – 410 calories, 25 grams of total fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 750 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of total carbs, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of total sugar, and 19 grams of protein.

Cantina Chicken – 410 calories, 25 grams of total fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 670 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of total carbs, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of total sugar, and 19 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Fiery Strawberry Sprite

There’s usually nothing more refreshing than a cold soda on a hot day, but if that soda is Burger King’s new Fiery Strawberry Sprite, I’d suggest proceeding with caution. That’s right, the brand (in)famous for its unsettling gimmicks (a black Whopper, anyone?) will once again have you scratching your head all the way to BK for its newest novelty: spicy soda.

This hot (ha, ha) item comes courtesy of its limited-edition summer Fiery Menu, which includes five different products ranked in increasing order of heat. The only beverage on the list is ranked just Spice Level 1, but like a poisonous frog advertising danger with its unnatural color, this bright-red Sprite wears its heat on its sleeve. This is because it’s mixed with “Fiery strawberry puree.” What makes the strawberry puree so fiery, you ask? You’ll have to keep asking because Burger King isn’t telling, though popular guesses I’ve seen include tajin and ginger.

While I can’t actually tell you exactly what’s in this Sprite, I can tell you what it tastes like. The first sip reminded me of a regular strawberry soda, but everything changed when the aftertaste attacked. The fabled fieriness had merely waited a few seconds to make its grand appearance, spreading slowly but undeniably against the roof of my mouth. Sure, I didn’t leap into the air with smoke pouring from my ears like a cartoon character, but I certainly winced, coughed, and maybe slightly regretted my reviewing choice (important context: try as I might, I am a weakling when it comes to spice).

I understand that sweet-spicy, aka “swicy,” is trendy right now, but in soda form, I found the combination of sweet heat with carbonation to be particularly abrasive. In some ways, the bite of the spiciness is a natural companion for the sharpness of the bubbles, but the dual sensation is intense in a way that I think many would find jarring. But I powered through the initial discomfort, and as I did, something strange started to happen: this slightly painful soda started to grow on me (in admittedly small sips, as I found it way too potent to chug).

Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that, regardless of whether I was actually enjoying it, I felt compelled to keep drinking more. I think it’s because I was craving a cold liquid to quell the heat, but of course, said liquid was the source of the heat in the first place, so even though each sip was like throwing gasoline on the fire, I couldn’t stop. I took so long to finish that the ice melted and watered my drink down, and that actually made it a lot more pleasant.

Oh, and if you’re coming in expecting Sprite’s classic lemon-lime stylings beneath the heat, adjust your expectations; both the strawberry flavor and the spiciness were so overpowering that it didn’t read as Sprite at all, tasting more like a mutant Fanta to me.

Unfortunately, I can’t say that the Fiery Strawberry Sprite and I got along like a Sprite on fire. If you’re a spice connoisseur or just a thrill junkie, sure, give this one a shot, but just be warned that if you play with Fiery Strawberry Sprite, you’re gonna get burned.

Purchased Price: $4.34
Size: Medium
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 190 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 50 milligrams of sodium, 48 grams of carbohydrates, 47 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Fiery Bacon Royal Crispy Chicken Sandwich

Genius that I am, I volunteered to take on the Fiery Bacon Royal Crispy Chicken Sandwich before reading the press release from Burger King. If I had done so, I would have known its summer “Fiery” menu has a tiered heat list, with the chicken sandwich sitting at the maximum Spice Level Five. I can handle some spice, but I don’t like having my throat annihilated by jalapeños; visions of people having seizures and hallucinations after eating Nashville Hot Chicken plagued me. What had I signed up for?

Of course, it was Burger King, so it’s fine. It turns out that even maximum Burger King spiciness is not that spicy compared to other spicy foods. It’s not even as spicy as BK’s original release of the Spicy Chicken Fries, which I loved. I worried myself into a tizzy for nothing.

This ambitious sandwich features white meat chicken with a coat of fiery glaze, fiery-seasoned bacon, pepper jack cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, and “Fiery sauce.” The sauce tastes like slightly cheesy mayonnaise with a small amount of heat added to it; everything else is fairly self-explanatory.

I had this twice, and neither time did I get much pepper jack cheese. To be fair, I don’t think it was needed.

When I first bit into the breaded, coated chicken breast before eating any of the toppings with it, I knew it tasted familiar, but I couldn’t place it. It’s a sweet heat, and I couldn’t get past the déjà vu sensation as I continued to shovel the thing into my mouth. Eventually, I realized what I was reminded of: General Tso’s Chicken. It’s definitely not an exact match, but the texture of the breading and the sweet and spice level put it into the ballpark of that Chinese takeout staple. I happen to really like General Tso’s Chicken, so this was a good thing for me.

But if you were having General Tso’s, would you want it slathered in mayonnaise? Probably not, but somehow, it works. Even though the fiery sauce has some spice, it still works as a cooling element compared to the spicing of the chicken patty, with the lettuce and tomato also working as you’d expect to moderate the heat level. I did get the sensation of heat in the back of my throat a few times, but it wasn’t unpleasant, just noticeable.

Besides not getting much cheese, my main complaint is that there wasn’t enough bacon. The spiced bacon adds another welcome layer of flavor and texture, but I wasn’t given much of it. It probably changes a lot between individual orders, so you may get more bacon on your sandwich than I did, but I doubt BK is heaping it on there. This is kind of a shame because if this thing was loaded up with that perfectly spiced bacon, we’d be talking about a 10 out of 10 experience here. As it stands, it’s merely very good.

I don’t know what it is, but whenever Burger King releases a spicy product, it really seems to work for me. I’m looking forward to trying the other items on the Fiery menu before the end of summer, and hey, maybe I’ll even try Nashville Hot Chicken someday; I bet my hallucinations would be awesome and might even include unicorns.

Purchased Price: $6.59
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 700 calories, 42 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 1140 milligrams of sodium, 57 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 25 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Starbucks Egg, Pesto & Mozzarella Sandwich

Starbucks’ Egg, Pesto & Mozzarella Sandwich is a serviceable, squishy sandwich.

It gets its squish from a fluffy cage-free egg frittata, which is topped with a kale and basil pesto and a mozzarella slice. Those three are served on a toasted cheddar and onion bun.

The almost perfect rectangle frittata was a bit flavorless. It wasn’t even very eggy. I only know this because the pesto on my sandwich was mainly on one side of the egg slab, leaving my taste buds a naked half of a frittata for them to experience. With such a concentration of pesto on one side, you’d assume the taste would be bold. But even with that amount, the green herbaceous topping didn’t bowl me over with pesto like I’d get from an Olive Garden offering. It made that half taste better than the pesto-less side, but I wish things were more flavorful. Also, it wasn’t easy to pick out the kale in the pesto, which I guess was a good thing because I got the benefits of eating kale without the rough texture and taste of kale.

The mozzarella was melted to the point where it looked like mayonnaise. But I wish this had mayo because the mild cheesiness didn’t carry much flavor. As I mentioned at the beginning of the review, the egg had a spongy texture and was unusually moist, which was odd. And it was even weirder when the frittata made slightly squishy sounds as I gently smooshed the sandwich. As for the toasted cheddar and onion bun, nothing about it made me think it had cheese or onion on or in it. The bottom bun was easy to bite through, and the top had some crispiness on the edges thanks to the toasting, but it was also a little chewy.

If you’re looking for a meatless sandwich option at Starbucks, its Egg, Pesto & Mozzarella Sandwich is the only one. (Although, I guess the Impossible Breakfast Sandwich could be considered a meatless option.) But it’s so meh that I’m not sure I’d recommend starting your morning with one.

Purchased Price: $5.45
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 390 calories, 16 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 175 milligrams of cholesterol, 790 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 21 grams of protein.