Tag: Fast Food

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Witch Please Shake

Marvo 2 Comments

I’m not sure how familiar the general public is with the purple yam called ube. Sure, Trader Joe’s has rolled out several ube-flavored products over the past few years, but for the most part I feel it’s still a little known flavor.

However, on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, it’s a common option with pastries and desserts. Even our local 7-Eleven locations had an ube-flavored Slurpee. I guess you could say it’s ubequitous here. I apologize.

If you’re unfamiliar with it, it’s sweet and a bit coconut-like. And it has found its way into Jack in the Box’s latest dessert, the Witch Please Shake. It’s an Oreo shake mixed with ube flavors and topped with more Oreo pieces and whipped topping. The ube gives it a pleasant lavender color, but it’s not dark enough to bring witches to my mind. It replaces the Basic Witch Shake that showed up on Jack’s menu board the past two fall seasons. That was a pumpkin spice shake with Oreo pieces.

The sweet coconutty taste is boldly there with every sip, but it’s the only flavor I taste. While I can see and feel the Oreo pieces floating in the ice cream, they only offer texture as I don’t taste their slightly bitter chocolate, even when I come across a decent-sized cookie chunk. This lack of cookie was also the case with the Basic Witch Shake. Although a little chocolate would’ve been nice, not noticing the cookie pieces is not a completely bad thing because it allows the ube to stand out, and that flavor is so delightful.

Jack in the Box’s Witch Please Shake is a delicious follow-up to the Basic Witch Shake. For those who have never tried ube, it’ll be a tasty introduction to the purple yam. For those who are familiar, I recommend sipping on this seasonal shake while you can because it’s witch-ed good. Ubetcha.

Purchased Price: $6.29*
Size: Regular
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 770 calories. Other nutrition number aren’t available on the Jack in the Box website.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Mtn Dew Baja Blast Gelato

Holly 3 Comments

Twenty years ago, I was sitting at Taco Bell after school when a guy I liked offered me a taste of his “delicious toilet bowl water” (his nickname for the drink because of its bright blue-green color). I took my first sip of the newly released Mountain Dew Baja Blast, which was unlike anything I had ever tried. The lime-tropical flavor was much more enjoyable than the traditional Mountain Dew. It was refreshing and sweet but not overly so. Baja Blast is the perfect addition to any Taco Bell meal.

To keep evolving the flavor, Taco Bell did a one-restaurant test in Southern California of a new item: Mtn Dew Baja Blast Gelato. The limited run was met with positive reactions and an announcement it would have a wide release to coincide with the soda’s 20th anniversary. The dessert is available through mobile order only to Taco Bell Rewards members, and you can order up to four.

Considering the chatter around the treat, I was half expecting Popeyes Chicken Sandwich-level chaos surrounding this drop. Instead, I showed up at an empty Taco Bell, where I was informed I was the “first person to get it.” Much to my disappointment, there was no banner or celebration of that fact.

I had a bit of sticker shock at the $4.99 price. The item was also a lot smaller than I had anticipated. I understand that 3.6 ounces isn’t much, but it wasn’t until I was handed the container that I realized how small it was. No matter. I was still very excited to try it.

Opening the package, I pulled out the purple spoon nestled into the top of the lid and removed the protective film to reveal the familiar Baja Blast color. The light, fragrant smell of the drink was the next thing I noticed. I scraped some of the top layer off and took a bite. The expected texture of gelato is creamy, dense, almost velvety smooth, but this was icy and light, more akin to Taco Bell’s frozen drinks.

I thought I was too distracted by the texture to notice the flavor, but with my next few bites, I found the flavor to be incredibly faint. It was almost like taking the last sip of a watered-down Baja Blast. I decided to let it sit out for a few minutes, and maybe it would get to its “optimal enjoyment temperature.” While this made it a little more enjoyable (less icy), it was still not the gelato experience I expected. This would have been better off marketed as a sorbet as it shared more characteristics with that frozen treat.

As much as it pains me to say, the Mtn Dew Baja Blast Gelato did not live up to the hype. The middle-of-the-road quality and light flavor didn’t justify the high price tag to me and was overall a letdown.

Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: 3.6 oz
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 70 calories, 0.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 10 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Panda Express Hot Ones Blazing Bourbon Chicken

Marvo 6 Comments

Panda Express calls its new Hot Ones Blazing Bourbon Chicken the spiciest dish the chain has ever offered, thanks to its sauce being made with the Hot Ones’ infamous Last Dap Apollo Hot Sauce.

While it does have a good tongue-poking amount of heat, I can’t say I’m 100 percent sure it’s the spiciest ever because there might’ve been a Panda Express entree that was so devastatingly hot that my mind and mouth wiped any memory about it. While I’m not sure it burns the most, it does make up for the mild Hot Orange Chicken from a few months ago.

The limited time entree features crispy boneless chicken bites, onions, bell peppers, and chili peppers in an extra spicy and sweet bourbon sauce that’s sprinkled with sesame seeds. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Panda Express knows how to make a great sweet and savory sauce, and that’s the case with Blazing Bourbon Chicken.

But let’s start with the heat. If you’re expecting a reaction that’s similar to the ones on the Hot Ones talk show, where celebrities have their sweat, tear, or salivary glands, or any combination of the three get forced into bodily fluid production overdrive, your glands need not worry, if you likey the spicy. After finishing off a small a la carte container of the chicken, the top of my head and the back of my neck were sweating a bit. But it’s not as blazing as I expected it to be with a sauce made from the Apollo Hot Sauce, and, despite the sweating, I didn’t feel compelled to extinguish the burn in my mouth. But that’s not a bad thing because the heat doesn’t overwhelm the great tasting bourbon-flavored coating.

As for that wonderful sauce, I get a hint of bourbon flavor, but for the most part, I notice a level of umami that reminds me of soy sauce and a sweetness that could be from honey or brown sugar. I’ve never had the Last Dab before, so I can’t say if I taste it here, but my brave taste buds don’t notice anything that could be considered the flavor of a hot pepper, just the spiciness from one. Speaking of peppers, the vegetables in the entree bring a different crisp texture than the chicken’s coating, and they help temper the sauce’s heat. The chili peppers, surprisingly, didn’t seem to elevate the dish’s burn.

Panda Express’ Hot Ones Blazing Bourbon Chicken has the right amounts of savoriness, sweetness, and spiciness. It’s so good that I could see myself swapping it with my beloved Orange Chicken a few times while it’s on the menu.

Purchased Price: $5.40
Size: Small container
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (5.5 oz serving) 400 calories, 5 grams of saturated fat, 40 grams of carbohydrates, and 14 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen French Silk Pie Blizzard

Denis 2 Comments

My wife rarely reads my reviews, so I’m going to roll the dice and hope she doesn’t see the following statement: If I could marry a member of the pie family, I would get on bended knee and offer a glistening strawberry ring pop to French silk pie so that we could be together forever

I’m not even a big pie person, but there’s something about that smooth, chocolatey goodness that just gets me. So, I was quite interested in trying Dairy Queen’s new-ish French Silk Pie Blizzard, which is part of the Fall Blizzard menu. It was apparently introduced in 2004 and has been available at various times since, but we’ve never reviewed it. It’s quite possible—even likely—that I’ve had it in the past and forgot, considering I don’t even remember what I ate for lunch today, and I had to check my phone to determine the day of the week. So it’s new to me.

I knew I would probably like this Blizzard, but the question was whether I would love it. The list of components was promising: choco chunks, pie pieces, and cocoa fudge with whipped topping. But despite my high hopes, let’s just say this Blizzard is more like a friend rather than marriage material. The chocolate flavor is great, and even a bit silky, at least as silky as you can get for ice cream, and the whipped topping always makes a Blizzard better.

My issue is the pie crust. I’m not sure if my local DQ got a bad batch, but the crust pieces were very crunchy, almost with the consistency of an animal cracker. There was very little of the crumbliness I associate with pie crust, and the pieces were monstrous, with a few being about the size of two Cinnamon Toast Crust pieces fused together. And the flavor was more like a cookie than pie crust.

Again, the chocolate part was wonderful. The cocoa fudge flavor did a perfect job of transforming the vanilla soft serve into chocolatey bliss, and the choco chunks brought an added layer of texture and taste. But the crust pieces just put a damper on the whole thing.

So I like you, French Silk Pie Blizzard, but I’m sorry to say that I don’t want to marry you. But we can still be friends. And yes, it is you, not me.

Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: Small
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 730 calories, 33 grams of fat, 20 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 310 milligrams of sodium, 98 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 76 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Caramel Java Chip Blizzard

Marvo 1 Comment

I’m 10 percent sure Dairy Queen Caramel Java Chip Blizzard has no caffeine. But I’m 100 percent sure it has coffee, choco-espresso crunch pieces, and caramel topping blended with soft serve because I copied and pasted most of this sentence from the Dairy Queen app. Looking through the ingredients of the dessert that I’m 10 percent sure children should eat, I noticed instant coffee and coffee concentrate. Okay, I’m eight percent sure now.

As you can guess from the photo above, my Blizzard was not served upside down. But it didn’t help that I took a short outdoor walk from the Dairy Queen to someplace with enough light to take decent photos, which ended up being the sitting area of a Starbucks inside a Target. The heat and humidity probably caused more melting. (Yes, I bought something from the Starbucks.)

But sitting next to those baristas was helpful because doing so made me realize that I probably got more coffee flavor in my mouth by breathing in the air at a Starbucks inside a Target than I did from the Caramel Java Chip Blizzard.

Those choco-espresso crunch pieces aren’t chocolate-covered espresso beans. Instead, they’re coffee-flavored rice crisps in a chocolatey coating, and the way they crunch reminds me more of Buncha Crunch candy than cocoa-coated espresso beans. Mine had a lot of them, enough that every spoonful had one. But the java flavor isn’t robust even with so many of them. With the first few spoonfuls, I could notice it, but at some point, that faded, and I mostly tasted the coating with a slight dark chocolate bitterness.

Much like the choco-espresso crunch pieces, the caramel topping mixed with the soft serve makes itself known with every spoonful, and I wonder if its buttery sweetness contributed to the lack of java flavor. Also, I didn’t taste any coffee when eating the caramel-enhanced soft serve on its own. However, the chocolate and caramel combination is good, and the crispy crunch from those chocolatey pieces is delightful.

Despite eating a small order, I still don’t know if Dairy Queen’s Caramel Java Chip Blizzard contains caffeine. However, ordering and drinking a Starbucks cold brew while eating the Blizzard and writing this review probably prevented me from finding out. But what I do know is that this needs more coffee flavor. It’s so weak that I could convince the Starbucks baristas in front of me that this is a Choco Caramel Blizzard.

Purchased Price: $6.89*
Size: Small
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 630 calories, 22 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 260 milligrams of sodium, 95 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 76 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.