Author: Vin

REVIEW: Red Bull Pink Edition Wild Berries Energy Drink

Vin 1 Comment

I was wracking my brain, trying to find the perfect song from Alecia Moore, aka Pink, to sum up my feelings about Red Bull’s new “The Pink Edition.” Surely, a pop star with such myriad hits would have something – some song, some lyric – to help me express how this wild berry energy drink made me feel.

Alas, my search came up empty. It didn’t make me want to “get the party started.” It didn’t make me want to “raise my glass.” It was not “(censored) perfect.” I did, however, find the opening “lyrics” of her smash hit, “So What,” appropriate:

Na-na-na-na, na-na, na
Na-na-na-na na-na –
… and so on and so forth…

Nah. This ain’t it.

Now that I got that extremely clunky reach for an intro out of the way, allow me to introduce “The Pink Edition,” which, in an ironic turn of events, is a real snoozefest from Red Bull.

The Pink Edition tastes of “wild berries,” which seems like a flavor profile Red Bull would have tackled by now, but apparently not. Whenever I have something “berry” flavored, I like to try and guess which berries are being used, so I took my first sip without research.

First of all, this isn’t even really pink. It’s more red. It’s too red. Anyway, flavor-wise, I assumed rasp, black, and one of cran, blue, or straw. The standards. Sometimes something crazy happens and brands sneak in a boysen or a snozz, but those are usually the main “mixed” berries.

The Pink Edition smells like Strawberry Jell-o but just kinda tastes like a slightly underripe raspberry. On the surface, that’s not bad, but there was also a strange chaser in there. I couldn’t pinpoint whatever berry it was, so I cheated and checked Red Bull’s official summarization:

“Raspberry and other fruits complemented with exciting herbal notes.”

It’s red, and it’s just one berry. This is literally red bull.

Ignoring how they just hand-waved the other potential fruits, THAT made sense. This has a slight herbal taste to it. It’s not very exciting, but it made me feel a very specific way. As just an everyday energy booster, I wouldn’t recommend this flavor at all. It’s one of the most middling Red Bulls I’ve had in ages.

That being said, if I was sick, I would absolutely love this. I don’t wanna jinx myself, but when I’m under the weather, I live on Ricola cough drops and drink ice cold seltzer almost exclusively. That’s what this tasted like – an herby fruity cough drop melted into a seltzer.

Does that appeal to anyone except sick me? I’d imagine it doesn’t. It’s maybe not as medicinal as I’m making it seem, but that herbal element really leans towards it.

So yeah, not great. Unless you’re a sicko like me, skip it. You’ll probably wanna pour this pink drink down the sink. I wish I had Alecia LESS of this flavor.

Yeah, that’s a bookend, I guess. Hmm, maybe I am getting sick.

Purchased Price: $2.38
Size: 8.4 Fl. Oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 3 out of 10 (8 out of 10 if I had a fever)
Nutrition Facts: 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 90 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of total carbohydrates, 26 grams of total sugars, 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Oreo Loaded Cookies

Vin 5 Comments

“Everything old is new again” is a famous quote that I should probably attribute to the original writer, but that dude ain’t around anymore. I’m sure he wouldn’t care.

For the sake of the following review, I’m going to attribute said quote to the R&D genius over at Nabisco/Mondelez who came up with the brilliant idea to stuff Oreos with Oreos.

Yep, we’ve reached the point in time where Oreo flavor spinoffs have come so full circle that we can now buy Oreo-flavored Oreos… and I’m not mad about it.

Two years ago, I reviewed “The Most Oreo,” and I gotta be honest here, folks, I think the new “Oreo Loaded” is just “The Most Oreo” with a fresh coat of paint. I’m consciously choosing not to re-read that review until I finish this one to see if I came to the same conclusion.

Ok, actually, “Oreo Loaded” being an exact replica of “The Most Oreo” isn’t entirely true. While they are both essentially “cookies and crème” flavored Oreos (I know, just go with it), I do not believe we reached “most” levels with the Oreo Loaded. These have a little more than your standard “Double Stuf” but do not reach the ludicrous thickness of “The Most Oreo.”

These land between “The Most Oreo” and “Double Stuf” calorically, so I think my thesis checks out.

Look, it’s a big fat Oreo with a little more Oreo essence thrown in. This is a slam dunk positive review. Do you like Oreos? Want an even fatter Oreo? Me too. These are very good, but allow me to nitpick just a bit.

The amount of crème is enough to where you start to notice just how chalky it is. I think the added element of “REAL Oreo cookie crumbs” (I know, just go with it) in said crème makes it dryer and a bit less palatable than you’re used to.

These are also easily the most brittle Oreos I’ve ever had. Perhaps I got a bad batch, but every single cookie I ate – every single one – broke into pieces in ways unnatural to an Oreo. For a sandwich cookie, I usually get a pretty clean halved bite with Oreos; here, each bite breaks the wafers into quarters at least. Also, I broke numerous cookie discs while doing the classic Oreo twist. It’s as if the crumbs in the crème were extracted directly from the cookies, ruining their structural integrity.

That’s it. Other than the excruciating lack of creativity, I have no complaints. I bought a pack of obese Oreos, and baby, I liked me some obese Oreos. Sure, they were a little gritty, a little crumby, and I could only enjoy about three in a sitting, but they are legitimately great.

2025 seems to already be the year of “everything old is new again” (… I know, just try to go with it?), but I guess we can take a little comfort in obese Oreos. I wanted to rail on how “Oreo stuffed Oreos” are almost insultingly repetitive, but I just can’t. I like Oreos. Maybe next time when Nabisco releases “Oreo Reloaded,” it can stuff Oreos with Hydrox and really shock the world.

Purchased Price: $4.88
Size: 13.37 oz package
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 Cookies) 180 calories, 9 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Glazed Donut Holes Cereal

Vin 1 Comment

Time to fake the donuts.

Donuts are probably my favorite food, and the kid in me still gets excited every time I see a new cereal on the shelf, but as far as cereals based on donut flavors… Has there ever truly been a good one?

Donut cereals are usually just generic “O” shaped pieces with gimmicky branding. It just seems like an easy way to pass off a new idea for a quick buck. Look, I still get that fun jolt of arrested development when I see donuts on a cereal box, but the flavor always ends up being lazy. Doncha think it’s time the Breakfast Gods bless us with a truly innovative donut-based cereal?

Me too. Ya gotta keep waiting, though, because new Kellogg’s Glazed Donut Hole Cereals ain’t it.

On paper, the idea of turning three of Kellogg’s most prominent offerings into little “glazed” donut bites might seem fun, but dare I say these may be the laziest donut cereal attempts to date?

Of the three flavors – Frosted Flakes, Krave, and Apple Jacks – I’ll be reviewing the first two.

Frosted Flakes

They’re sweet. They’re flakey. They’re iconic. Well, now they’re bland little balls. They’re ironic? Probably not, I don’t actually know what irony is, but these are a snoozefest.

I can only describe the flavor as “sweet-ish.” Not Swedish, “sweet-ish.” You get a basic sweet corn cereal taste with a texture I’d compare to a less dense Peanut Butter Crunch. The flavor is so light they almost taste like Kix. They’re lacking such a punch that you could’ve told me they were a brand of “healthy” alternative cereal purchased from Whole Foods. They don’t deliver on the promise at all. They’rrrrrrre GGG-onna need to go back to the drawing board on this one.

Krave

I have an admission, I’ve never had Krave. I’ve loved some “filled pillow” cereals in the past, but they have escaped me since their inception for some reason. While I can’t speak on Krave in their true form, they make for a decent “glazed” donut hole. They’re ok. I wasn’t mad. I wasn’t happy either, but…

These are essentially “Cocoa Puffs Lite.” It’s as if Sonny the Cuckoo Bird finally got on meds and just chilled out for a little bit. While that sounds boring, they’re easily the better of the two. I’m on record as saying most chocolate cereals taste the same, so I don’t mind this lighter chocolate flavor. The dusty white “glaze” gives them a little bit of a hot cocoa flavor vibe.

The back of each box boasts “Glazed in Genius,” but these are dumb and unglazed. It’s just a faint white coating. Both cereals look similar, with Krave having a slightly darker hue.

Kellogg’s Glazed Donut Holes are, at best, “inoffensive.” They took multiple cereals out of their unique forms for no reason. It’s like the factory setting was stuck on “ball” one day, and they just rolled with it – pun possibly intended.

Donut cereals do-nut work. Pun not intended. Donut hole cereals are especially baffling. There have been approximately 4,389 ball-shaped cereals that we could’ve passed off as “donut holes.” I’m no conspiracy theorist, but I feel like this is some kind of “shrinkflation” ploy where balls are cheaper to produce or something. If donut hole cereals worked, we’d have “Dunkin’ Crunchkins” by now.

If curiosity gets the best of you and you buy these, just mix ’em together. It makes for a slightly better bowl of cereal. Who knows, maybe the Apple Jack version slaps, but Frosted Flakes and Krave are duds.

Purchased Price: $4.99 each
Size: 10 oz. Boxes
Purchased at: Shop Rite
Rating: 3 out of 10 (Frosted Flakes), 5 out of 10 (Krave)
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup) Frosted Flakes – 140 calories, 1.5 gram of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Krave – 130 calories, 1.5 gram of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of total carbohydrates, 5 grams of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Hash Brown Brisket Scramble Bowl

Vin 1 Comment

“Cellar door” is often cited as the most beautiful sounding phrase in the English language, but I think I’ve discovered the new top phonesthetic… which is definitely not a word I just discovered two seconds ago.

Ya had a good run, “cellar door,” but you’re downright hideous next to “brisket bowl.” Ahhh, “brisket bowl.” Just let it roll out – Brisket. Bowl. Doesn’t that feel good? Doesn’t that sound good?

Dunkin’ thought so, that’s why it put out a “Hash Brown Brisket Scramble Bowl.” I mean, that doesn’t flow as well, but I guess it still sounds great. I should’ve known the joint that removed “donuts” from its name would opt against short and sweet alliteration.

So, while that name is a little too gussied up, I’ll let it slide because, well, that sounds delicious. Does it taste as good as it should’ve sounded?

Nope, but it almost got there.

The Hash Brown Brisket Scramble Bowl consists of hash browns, scrambled eggs, smoked cheddar cheese, poblano peppers, caramelized onions, cheddar queso, and what I thought would be the star of the show, shredded brisket.

On paper, that sounds really good, and it’s not terrible, but like the name I keep harping on, and this review I’m sure, it needed some editing.

I’ll start with the good. I love Dunkin’s hash browns. They’re crispy, they’re zesty, and they’re a perfect size. No complaints. I liked the fluffy egg chunks too. In fact, I would’ve liked about 25% more egg. These ingredients make for a great base, unfortunately the meat is usually where Dunkin’ lacks for me.

The brisket was a mixed bag. I didn’t expect KC BBQ, but I was at least expecting tender strips. I got a few sinewy, chewy strings of beef that I had to spit out in a napkin. That was a real buzzkill because other bites were actually nice. Still, I had to go into each forkful with trepidation. It was a game of roulette. Say I got ten bites of brisket, four were good, three were inedible and three got lost in the sauce.

The little bits of poblano were a big hit, but I honestly had no clue there were onions in there. They must’ve just blended into the queso, so they literally got lost in the sauce. I’m a “less is more” guy when it comes to sauces, so I could’ve done with less queso too. Also, this is an absolute salt bomb. Grab a coffee.

I don’t ever wanna spit out part of the meal I’m eating, but for some reason, I still give this a light recommendation. It doesn’t need to be tossed behind the cellar door. Hell of a callback there…

I can sit here and tell you the brisket was terrible, but honestly, I think their bacon and sausage are usually pretty unremarkable too, so at least it was a change from the norm.

I think these little bowls are a good portion size, so if you’re just looking for a small breakfast, it’s worth a try. Maybe I just got a bad batch of meat. I might get this again and dump the contents into a tortilla, because I imagine it would make good contents for a breakfast burrito. “Brisket Breakfast Burrito” – now that sounds beautiful.

Purchased Price: $4.99
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 Bowl) – 340 calories, 22 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 110 mg of cholesterol, 1300 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, 10 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Smucker’s Uncrustables Peanut Butter & Raspberry Spread Sandwich

Vin 2 Comments

Folks, it’s peanut butter jelly time.

If the reminder of that dancing banana pre-meme, or “preme,” made you yearn for simpler times, I’ve got something else to tickle your nostalgia bone – PB&Js with the crust cut off.

Ah yes, an absolute staple of every picky child’s diet, and with the advent of Smucker’s Uncrustables, still a staple of this lazy manchild’s lack of one. I buy them in bulk from Costco once a month. In fact, I eat so many Uncrustables, my niece calls me, “Unc Rustable.”

Ok, that’s not true. My niece doesn’t even call me, but if she did, she would probably tell me to stop talking with my mouth full of Uncrustables.

To bastardize the late great Mitch Hedberg’s potato joke, sometimes I’ll just throw a frozen Uncrustable on the counter even if I don’t want one, and by the time it’s done? Who knows?

If you can’t tell, I love Uncrustables, so when I saw a new flavor dropped – Raspberry, I snatched them up faster than you can say, “Get to the review already, dude.”

Do you like grape Uncrustables? Do you like the strawberry one? Guess what? The reign continues. You’re gonna like them in raspberry too.

What can I say? Raspberry is a welcome addition to the line.

They might actually be your new favorite. They aren’t quite my favorite, but that’s no knock. I’d still put them behind grape but ahead of strawberry.

They’re great, but the sweet raspberry jelly flavor pops here just a tad bit more than I’d like. It doesn’t overpower the peanut butter, but it tries. The jelly reminds me of the raspberry filling you would find in Italian bakery cookies, making these lean a little closer to a dessert than an on-the-go mid-day lunch alternative in my mind. That’s fine; I’ll just eat ’em later in the day.

That’s about as much as I can say “bad” about them. These bread pucks should become a regular part of my repertoire. If you’re like me, you prefer your Uncrustables “al dente.” If I’m not taking one with me, I usually eat them after about ten minutes of thawing. Raspberry met my standards here as well. The cold jelly with the half-frozen peanut butter definitely satisfies.

These are a successful expansion. I’d love to see Costco do a three-flavor variety box soon. Beyond that, I’d love Uncrustables to fast-track more new flavors. To take a cue from the dancing banana, how about an Elvis-inspired flavor? Kids love The King! I am not sure about the freezing properties of a banana spread, but they have scientists over at Smucker’s who can surely make it work.

Hey, another Paddington movie is coming down the pike, so hit us with an orange marmalade Uncrustable. Where’s the Fluffernutter one? You make ’em, I’ll buy ’em. I am “Unc Rustable” after all. I should call my niece and let her know Uncrustables now comes in Raspberry.

It’s ringing.

… Straight to voicemail. She’s probably busy.

Purchased Price: $4.79
Size: 8 oz package
Purchased at: Acme
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 210 calories, 9 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.