If there’s anything that Hollywood has taught me, it’s that Christmas time can bring unexpected challenges. Trains running through the backyard. Cats blowing up the Christmas tree. Having a misguided green crook swipe my roast beast. Really, anything can happen.

So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when I ran across the bright orange carton of holiday Flipz. Having not seen, let alone bought, a carton of Flipz since the days of Eureeka’s Castle reruns, I thought the chocolate-covered pretzels had gone extinct, and yet there they were in this 9-ounce carton at the end of aisle 7, that pudgy, slightly creepy snowman waving to me from the front of the carton as if to say, “Hark! Awaken young Margaret from your confectionary ignorance! There are pretzels to eat!”

Indeed. There are pretzels to eat.

The pretzels come out of the box with definitive appeal. Wonky and charmingly imperfect, they look like the droopy face of Jacob Marley or The Ghost Christmas of Past, which is not only an aesthetically intriguing design, but also serves as a friendly reminder that one day you, too, will die. Ah, yes, nothing like a healthy dose of mortality to pair with your chocolate confection. Nietzsche would be proud. Let’s see if these little bites of philosophy can hold their own in the taste category.

I have never hidden my love for sweet and salty and do not intend to do so now. Right away, the salty crunch from the pretzels is impressive, the tiny twists not daring to bend or sog under the deluge of Gingerbread coating.

That coating is soft and melty, slightly more stable than the peculiar goo surrounding Oreo Fudge Crèmes. Such a coating can be a bit waxy, but it’s the flavor that really sets the Flipz apart. This version of gingerbread-flavored confection is sweet, slightly Cinnamon-Toast-Crunch-like, with just a ruffle of tang not unlike that of a yogurt-covered raisin. It’s extraordinarily sweet, toeing the line of white fudge, but just when the dextrose deluge threatens to take over the scene, the salt speckles from the pretzels work things out.

Would I have enjoyed a bit more of a gingerbread-molasses bite? Maybe, but I just can’t be bored with these in hand. The creamy coating makes for a spectacular trail mix and the pretzels go great with ice cream. They’re exceptionally crunchy, making them perfect for snacking near those trouble risers who need waking on Christmas morning. Watch as the echo from the pretzel snaps them awake.

While the separate elements of “pretzel” and “gingerbread fudge” sound humdrum, Flipz combined the two together in an innovative confection that defies boredom. The pretzels are dense, salty, and crunchy, and the gingerbread flavor stands fairly strong: sweet and just woodsy enough, these may bring back holiday memories of that time your parents got you a pony—even if your parents never got you a pony. Such are the powers of gingerbread. They create memories that don’t even exist.

But make no mistake: this isn’t magic or Hollywood parlor tricks. They’re just pretzels covered in a gingerbread-flavored coating, and that’s good enough for me.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 oz – 140 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 0 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Flipz Gingerbread Flavor Covered Pretzels
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 9 oz.
Purchased at: Food Emporium
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Snappy pretzels. Creamy, sweet coating. Sweet, spicy, and salty balance. Memories of Blockbuster and Eureeka’s Castle. Telepathic communication with a two-dimensional snowman.
Cons: Fudge can get waxy. Uses “Gingerbread flavored coating” rather than gingerbread fudge. Hint of molasses may be too subtle for some. Creepy snowman on the front. Cats blowing up the Christmas tree. The trauma of never getting a pony.

Purchased Price: $5.99 (on sale)
Size: 14.3 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Wonderful crispy crust. Preservative-free crust. Lots of veggies, especially olives and tomatoes. If you don’t eat meat, you may like this pizza. Decent source of vitamin A and calcium. Ready in 12 quick minutes.
Cons: ALL I CAN TASTE AND SMELL ARE OLIVES!!! (Okay, occasionally, I could taste parmesan, spinach, and a little bit of garlic.) Tomatoes give the pizza a juicy texture. Red onions were flavorless. Didn’t notice the tzatziki sauce. Some lamb might’ve been nice. A serving is a third of the pizza…who’s going to cut a pizza into an odd number of slices? I suck at fractions.

Nutrition Facts: 1/3 pizza – 300 calories, 130 calories from fat, 15 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 550 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, 10 grams of protein, 20% vitamin A, 2% vitamin C, 20% calcium, and 10% iron.

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

It’s about flippin’ time there’s Gingerbread and Peppermint Flipz. (Spotted by Margaret at Food Imporium.)

Devil popcorn! Here’s a Hot Cinnamon Popcorn review. And here’s one for the White Fudge Hot Cinnamon Drizzlecorn.
(Spotted by Sylvia at Whole Foods.)

Let’s see. Merry Cherry, Sugar Plum, Hot Chocolate, Sugar Cookie, Gingerbread, Apple Cider, Green Apple Grinch, and Polar Punch, but no Egg Nog? Better see that next year, Dum-Dums. (Spotted by Diane at Walgreens.)

Wow. There sure are a lot of beer blogs. And many of them tell me that the Juniper IPA and Cherry Chocolate Bock are new additions to the Samuel Adams Winter Favorites, which was previously called, Winter Classics…which I also learned from the many beer blogs I came across. (Spotted by Kelly at Target.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

CHRISTMAS CHICKEN SANDWICH!!!

That’s what I would like to call Jack in the Box’s Fajita Ranch Melt.

If you look at the sandwich’s promotional photo, it screams, “CHRISTMAS!” It has red and green bell peppers, white ranch sauce, red taco sauce, white pepper jack cheese, white onions, and seasoned chicken in between a toasted sourdough bun. Seeing those colors together makes me want to sing 80s Christmas songs.

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away.
This year
To save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special.

However, in real life, the Fajita Ranch Melt doesn’t look as festive. If Jack in the Box didn’t already have a sandwich called the Hot Mess, I would’ve called this new one a hot mess. Instead, I’m going to have to say it’s messy.

It’s messy mostly because of the sourdough bun, which barely stayed intact as my mouth made its way through the sandwich. Wait. Did I say, “sourdough bun”? I meant to say, “ranch and taco sauce sponge.” Too bad the bun wasn’t also a bell pepper and onion sponge because that would’ve prevented the veggies from falling out.

For those of you familiar with Jack in the Box, you may know they offer a Chicken Fajita Pita, which is one of their “Healthy Dining Choices.” The Fajita Ranch Melt is what I wish the Chicken Fajita Pita would taste like and is nowhere close to being a “Healthy Dining Choice,” which is obvious since it has buttered buns and a creamy ranch sauce.

Speaking of the ranch sauce, it was hard for my taste buds to notice it because they were distracted by the slightly spicy taco sauce, which I didn’t mind. Surprisingly, the sauces were light enough that I could taste the ever-falling, slightly crunchy bell peppers and onions that I had to regularly stuff back into the sandwich. The easy-to-chew seasoned chicken was more like salty chicken, but the veggies, taco sauce, and melted pepper jack cheese did a great job of masking the chicken’s saltiness.

But was the Jack in the Box Fajita Ranch Melt “Clucking Delicious”?

Yes, it clucking was. It made my taste buds happy. But it would’ve been clucking better if it was called the Jack in the Box Christmas Chicken Sandwich.

(Nutrition Facts – 579 calories, 288 calories from fat, 32 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 88 milligrams of cholesterol, 1658 milligrams of sodium, 357 milligrams of potassium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 32 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box Fajita Ranch Melt
Purchased Price: $4.99*
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Great flavor. Taco sauce was a tasty addition. Promotional picture looks like Christmas in a bun. Bell peppers and onions surprisingly provided flavor and texture. 80s Christmas songs.
Cons: Ranch sauce wasn’t noticeable. Salty chicken. Messy sandwich. Only available in California, Idaho, Hawaii, Nevada, and Utah. Not as heart healthy as Jack’s Chicken Fajita Pita. It’s not called the Christmas Chicken Sandwich.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay $3.99.

Here are five recent fast food news bites:

I thought Pizza Hut’s Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza wasn’t very crazy and I feel the same about this Pizza Hut pizza in Puerto Rico. (via Brand Eating)

WHAT?! Jack in the Box’s new Jalapeño BBQ Burger is not available in California, Idaho, Hawaii, Nevada, and Utah? I guess I’m going to have to get some spicy trans fat somewhere else. (via Business Wire)

Popeyes Spicy Cajun Wings are back! And I’m going to eat them when the Popeyes down the street opens, which was supposed to happen in September. The opening got pushed back to November, but here we are in December and it still doesn’t look like it’s ready to open. (via Grub Grade)

Missed opportunity, Checkers! Your Fry-Seasoned Monsterella Stix would’ve been an appropriately named product in October. (via Grub Grade)

Every Monday this month is #MondayBunday at Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s. If you buy one original Six Dollar Thickburger from Carl’s Jr. or a 1/3 lb. Original Thickburger from Hardee’s on a Fresh Baked Bun, you can get a second one for free! The coupons are available only on Mondays from the Carl’s Jr. the Hardee’s websites. (via Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s)

Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: Two cakes
Purchased at: Market Basket
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Definitely better thawed than microwaved. Gentle carrot cake smell and fairly complex flavor. Sweet icing and fun spongy texture. Occasional carrot shreds. Less saturated fat than the Marie Callender’s Chocolate Satin Mini Pies
Cons: The size of a small cupcake. Unexpected walnuts that I mistook for raisins on first glance. Frosting might slide off during heating. Heating leads to inconsistent temperature. Less filling when heated. Having to wait for it to thaw for a better experience. Strange yellow chunk of… carrot?

Nutrition Facts: 1 cake – 300 calories, 130 calories from fat, 15 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 360 milligrams of sodium, 85 milligrams of potassium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of fiber, 25 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, 30% vitamin A, 2% calcium, and 4% iron.