It was a late night at the office. Outside my window, the occasional crack of thunder broke through the sound of unrelenting rain. I sat at my desk, furiously tapping away at the typewriter, working on reviews of the latest food items to hit the streets. Suddenly, the phone rang.

It was a stranger. He spoke low, almost whispering, his voice shrouded in mystery.

Me: Hello?

Stranger: Is this a secure line?

Me: Yes.

There was a pause.

Stranger: I heard you’ve been having cravings…for the McRib.

Ah, the McRib. That elusive barbecue pork sandwich sold only periodically by McDonald’s restaurants. Unfortunately, McRib season had recently ended, and my stomach growled with a hunger that could only be sated by one special sandwich.

Me: Keep your voice down! McRib season is over. There’s nothing for me to do.

Stranger: I’ve got something you should see. Meet me in the alleyway on Fourth and Main. No cops.

The stranger hung up the phone. I put out my cigarette and grabbed my trench coat and fedora. No good detective – I mean, food writer – leaves without his fedora.

I thought about the call. Could this shady stranger possibly be a McRib dealer, peddling pork sandwiches as addictive as crack cocaine? Or might his product be a cheap, low-grade imitation? There was only one way to find out.

I waited in the alleyway for the stranger. Just as I began growing impatient, I saw him appear, his identity masked by the shadows. He handed me an unmarked white bag.

Stranger: It’s not a McRib, but try it. You won’t be disappointed.

Suddenly, the stranger ran off. In the poorly lit alleyway, I had difficulty seeing what he looked like, but as he fled, I noticed the faint outline of a crown upon his head.

Ah, The Burger King. We meet again.

Back at my office, I opened the bag and found the new BK Rib Sandwich, a barbecue pork sandwich available for a limited time on Burger King’s new summer menu.

I must admit, I had high expectations. Could the new BK Rib Sandwich possibly compete with my beloved McRib? Wide-eyed with anticipation, I unwrapped my sandwich…

The first thing I noticed about the BK Rib Sandwich was its appearance. Unlike the McRib, which has a wider-shaped roll, the BK Rib Sandwich is served on a standard hamburger bun. Upon removing the top, we find pickles and a rather square-shaped pork patty, complete with appetizing grill marks. Though the sandwich seems a little flatter than the McRib, the pork on the BK Rib Sandwich just looks better than the pork slab found on the McRib.

But enough about the looks. Taste will be the determining factor for this sandwich.

Biting into the BK Rib Sandwich, I instantly noticed the pork flavor: it has a much more vibrant smokiness compared to the McRib. As a result, it feels more like I’m eating authentic pork and less like I’m eating a processed pork product. Furthermore, the barbecue sauce is truly enjoyable. Though the sauce might not be as noticeably tangy as the McRib sauce, it is sweet nonetheless, and even has a pleasant spiciness which I was not expecting. After a few bites, I noticed the heat of the burger. The burn is not overwhelming, though; the sauce of the BK Rib Sandwich has the perfect amount of kick to complement its sweetness.

Sadly, I feel that the pickles found on my sandwich took the back seat to the rib flavor. The sweetness of the pickles was often masked by the flavor of the barbecue sauce and pork. This was a little unexpected, as the pork patty wasn’t completely slathered in sauce. In addition, the sandwich completely lacked onions, which happen to be my favorite part of the McRib. Onions would have been a definite improvement for the BK Rib Sandwich.

So how does the BK Rib Sandwich fare against the McRib? Well, that’s a tough question. Both sandwiches have their strengths. I love what the onions and pickles do for the McRib, but the lack of onions and the masked pickle taste are definite drawbacks. However, I prefer the barbecue sauce on the BK Rib Sandwich due to its combination of sweetness and spiciness.

Overall, the BK Rib Sandwich was delicious, and I hope it will be seen as more than just a substitution for the McRib. Will I ever eat another McRib? Yes, it’s inevitable. It’s a classic! And I truly hope that the sandwich returns with Burger King’s summer menu next year.

(Nutrition Facts – 560 calories, 31 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 1530 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 19 grams of sugar, 24 grams of protein.)

Other BK Rib Sandwich reviews:
Grub Grade

Item: Burger King Rib Sandwich
Purchased Price: $5.25
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Spicy barbecue sauce. Smoky pork flavor. Grill marks. Meeting strangers in alleyways.
Cons: Pickle flavor is masked. No onions!

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

So breading this fried ice cream ice cream and deep frying it would make it fried ice cream fried ice cream, right? My head hurts…or it’s brain freeze from thinking about fried ice cream fried ice cream too fast. (via So Good Blog)

Drinkin’ Surge in 2013! Sounds like someone built a time machine. (via BevNerd)

I wonder if I could borrow that time machine and get some Dublin Dr Pepper so that I can compare it with this Dr. Pepper. (via BevReview)

I’m not sure how to feel about this. Is it good for me because it tastes like vegetables? Or is it bad for me because it’s made with chocolate? (via Crazy From Kong)

A Southwest McDouble, Swiss and Dijon McDouble, and Bacon Buffalo McChicken? Bring it on! I love inexpensive ways to clog my arteries and raise my blood pressure. It’s why I love potato chips. (via Foodette Reviews)

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Special K has new flavors of Pastry Crisps, or as I like to call them when I put them on my chest, Pastie Crisps. (Spotted by Deanna at Walmart.)

Pink Lemonade Magic Shell sounds gross. Freezes in seconds? More like ruins ice cream quicker than the sun does. (Spotted by Paige at Target.)

Why are they called Nekot cookies? According to the internets, Lance wanted to honor a retiring executive by naming the cookie Token. However, there was already a cookie named Token, so he just flipped the spelling around. Oh, that Lance was smart…or trams.(Spotted by Sara at Walmart.)

How weird it would be if Dale Jr.’s race car had Dale Jr. Foods as its main sponsor and the Number 88 car had a huge picture of his face on the hood and doors with a picture of his Dale Jr. Foods car which also has a picture of his face on the hood and doors? Chip Review has a chip review. (Spotted by Adam at Weis Markets.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

Here are some quick reviews of new-ish frozen products we’re too lazy to write full reviews for:

Item: Ha?agen-Dazs Stracciatella Gelato
Purchased Price: $2.99 (on sale+coupon)
Size: 14 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Delightful. Easier to scoop than regular Häagen-Dazs ice cream. Smooth gelato. Lots of chocolaty shavings made with cocoa butter; it looks like it was in a chocolate hailstorm.Fun name to say.
Cons: It doesn’t really taste that much different than ice cream. Chocolaty shaving are like speed bumps as you try to enjoy the smooth gelato. Looks and tastes like this ice cream. Name also sounds like an expensive violin and a throat infection. Only 14 ounces.
Nutrition Facts: 1/2 cup – 270 calories, 120 calories from fat, 13 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 90 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 25 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.
Other reviews: Crazy Food Dude, Matt Hearts Ice Cream (video)

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Liz Lemon Greek Frozen Yogurt
Purchased Price: FREE (I had a coupon)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: More of a sweet lemon than tart. Nice lemon aroma. Lemon Greek frozen yogurt and blueberry swirl go well together. Thank goodness it wasn’t only lemon. Easy to scoop. The addition of lavender sounds gross, but it gives the flavor a little something, something.
Cons: Although made with lemon oil, it has an almost artificial lemon flavor. Doesn’t contain live and active cultures. 30 Rock no longer on the air. Blerg! Thankfully, it’s not Lutz’s Lemon.
Nutrition Facts: 1/2 cup – 180 calories, 40 calories from fat, 4.5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 21 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.
Other reviews: On Second Scoop, Junk Food Guy, The Ice Cream Informant

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Pineapple Passionfruit Greek Frozen Yogurt
Purchased Price: FREE (I had a coupon)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: It’s really Greekin’ good. Passionfruit pretty much overwhelms the pineapple, which is fine with me because I enjoy passionfruit. Smooth, creamy, and easy to scoop. Tastes like I’m in Hawaii…oh wait, I’m already in Hawaii.
Cons: Could use more pineapple chunks. Pineapple lovers might be upset with its mild pineapple flavor. Doesn’t contain live and active cultures. Hugging pineapples.
Nutrition Facts: 1/2 cup – 180 calories, 35 calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 26 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.
Other reviews: Junk Food Guy,

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

I’m not 100 percent sure about this, and I’m too lazy to Google it, but didn’t Jif once offer whipped peanut butter prior to these Jif Whips. Also, I’m not sure if it’s the product itself or the word “whips”, but I’m kind of excited about Jif Whips. (Spotted by Jamie at Walmart.)

Jif Cashew Butter AND Jif Almond Butter? It appears Jif has been really busy with their nuts. (Spotted by Kayla at Walmart.)

“Welcome to the 20th century, Tastykake!” said Cinnabon. (Spotted by Adam at Walmart.)

Honey Maid Teddy Grahams made with real fruit? How about making Teddy Grahams made with real teddies so I squeeze them and then eat them. (Spotted by Deanna at Walmart.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

Jack in the Box’s menu board has seen a number of deep fried finger food on it. Oh, let me count the salty, greasy ways. Stuffed jalapeños, mozzarella cheese sticks, chicken nuggets, egg rolls, chicken strips, onion rings, corn dogs, and now we can add their new Pizza Bites.

Yes, Jack in the Box is now offering something you might find being served as an appetizer at the birthday party of an 8-year-old. And, yes, it does seems like the fast food chain is heavily influenced by the finger food section in the frozen food aisle, and I look forward to Jack in the Box’s version of taquitos and Smucker’s Uncrustables.

Jack in the Box’s Pizza Bites are stuffed with the following stalwarts of pizza: pepperoni, mozzarella cheese, oven-dried tomatoes, garlic, and herbs. The exterior is called “pizza dough” on the fast food chain’s website, but it looks like the coating found on other deep fried finger foods. They come in either three or six pieces and are accompanied with a container (or containers if your get the six-piece offering) of Jack’s Buttermilk House Sauce. According to the press release, they were supposed to come with marinara sauce, but I didn’t receive any.

Their almost equilateral triangular-shape makes them easy to dip and, if you don’t have piece of paper around because you’re trying to live a “paperless” lifestyle, a decent replacement for a paper football. It will also make a game of paper football much more interesting if the loser has to eat the football, which will have landed on the ground enough times to collect hair, dirt, and possibly disease.

The first time I tried the Pizza Bites they looked a little burnt, as if they were toasted over a campfire, but the innards were perfectly gooey. I decided to give them another try from another location and got pieces that were as golden brown as the skin of a 20-something sunbather. However, while they looked good, the innards appeared dried up like the skin of 60-year-old lifelong sunbather.

During both tastings, I found the breaded dough to be thick and slightly chewy with a strong crunch. I also thought the exterior did a wonderful job of muting the flavors of the cheese, pepperoni chunks, and oven-dried tomatoes. It’s a little strange there wasn’t some kind of sauce within the confines of the Pizza Bites, which could’ve made a difference. Heck, the marinara sauce probably would’ve helped. Since the Pizza Bites weren’t bursting with pizza flavor, but bursting with crust flavor, I was glad it came with the supplied Buttermilk House Sauce.

To be honest, even if I got perfectly prepared Jack in the Box Pizza Bites, I’d bet they’d have an unsatisfying pizza flavor that would make me yearn for a regular pizza…or crash an 8-year-old’s birthday party to get some appetizers.

(Nutrition Facts – 6 pieces – 500 calories, 189 calories from fat, 21 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 43 milligrams of cholesterol, 1969 milligrams of sodium, 413 milligrams of potassium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 22 grams of protein.)

Other Jack in the Box Pizza Bites reviews:
Brand Eating
The Food Chain Review

Item: Jack in the Box Pizza Bites
Purchased Price: $3.89
Size: 6 pieces
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: More deep fried finger food at Jack in the Box. Crunchy crust. Makes a good ball replacement for paper football. Lots of cheese. Buttermilk House Sauce makes them decent, but it really should taste like pizza.
Cons: Breaded crust mutes other flavors. Cooking inconsistencies. No sauce inside the Pizza Bites. Deep fried finger food at Jack in the Box seems tame compared with deep fried finger food at county fairs. Do not eat the six piece one by yourself; share it with someone. Losing paper football and eating the Pizza Bites that’s fallen to the ground too many times.