REVIEW: Toffee Crunch Oreo Cookies

Toffee Crunch Oreo Cookies Package

So, I feel like I have limited experience with toffee. I’ve had a couple of Heath Bars, and maybe even a Skor or two, but I’m generally not one to just sit around gobbling fistfuls of the brittle English… candy? Confection? Building material?

But it pairs well with chocolate, I think — as evidenced by the aforementioned bars. So it only makes sense that it’s now an Oreo filling. After all, everything is an Oreo filling, right? Swedish Fish? Oreo filling. Cherry cola? Oreo filling. Your mom’s meatloaf? Probably going to be an Oreo filling.

But like Jeff Goldblum said in Jurassic Park, “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.” Was he talking about Oreo flavors? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen the movie, so I don’t remember. Maybe? But I guess what I’m getting at is, just because the Oreo scientists can stuff their cookies with whatever fillings their demented minds can dream up, should they? Well, no, not always. (Looking at you, Kettle Corn, Pina Colada, Cotton Candy, and Root Beer Float, to name but a few.)

But in this case? It’s fine.

Toffee Crunch Oreo Cookies Top

The toffee creme has a noticeable buttery flavor, but it’s very mild. To replicate toffee’s crunch, “sugar crystals” have been added to the proceeding. They crunch, and they’re fine, but they do nothing to enhance or detract from the overall affair. Because the toffee punch is so subtle, I was left wishing that there would have been more, you know, Double Strength or whatever they call it. I’m not sure they do that with these one-off flavors, though, so I was left with nothing more than a dream.

Toffee Crunch Oreo Cookies Weirdness

One mildly interesting side note: about 3/4ths of the pack had half of the cookie inside-out. So like, the decorative side was pressed into the creme and the smooth side was facing out. Do I think this affected my eating experience? Uncertain, but I’m leaning toward “no.” Was it mildly interesting? Sure. But not, you know, enough to make me want to buy them again. Because I feel like that would be a really peculiar reason to buy another package of Oreo cookies, right?

Toffee Crunch Oreo Cookies Tray

In the end, these were acceptably okay but absolutely nothing special. If you’re a completist, you’ll want to try them, and I feel like, as long as you’re tolerant of toffee, you’ll enjoy them just fine. If you’re just an “Oreo-a-few-times-per-year” person, you might want to stick to your known commodities lest you end up with a sad stomach.

Purchased Price: $3.67
Size: 17 oz package
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cookies) 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 13 grams of sugar, 13 grams of added sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.

SPOTTED – 1/12/2022

Here are some interesting new products found on store shelves by your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Kellogg s Frosted Falakes with Vanilla Flavored Marshmallows in Fun School Mascot Shapes
Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes with Vanilla Flavored Marshmallows in Fun School Mascot Shapes
Kellogg s Frosted Falakes with Vanilla Flavored Marshmallow Fun School Mascot Shapes
Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes with Vanilla Flavored Marshmallow Shapes

(Spotted by Robbie at H-E-B.)

Special Edition Kellogg s Apple Jack with Star Marshmallows
Special Edition Kellogg’s Apple Jack with Star Marshmallows

(Spotted by Robbie at Walmart.)

Tate s Bake Shop Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies
Tate’s Bake Shop Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies
Tate s Bake Shop Vegan Vanilla Maple Cookies
Tate’s Bake Shop Vegan Vanilla Maple Cookies

(Spotted by Sarah R at Whole Foods.)

Crunchmaster Cheddar Mini Crisps
Crunchmaster Cheddar Mini Crisps

(Spotted by Robbie at Sam’s Club.)

Violife Singles Sandwich Slices
Violife Singles Sandwich Slices

(Spotted by Sarah R at Whole Foods.)

Bud Light Seltzer Limited Edition Sour Variety Pack
Bud Light Seltzer Limited Edition Sour Variety Pack

(Spotted by Rachel J at Safeway.)

REVIEW: Goldfish Mega Bites Cheddar Jalapeno

Goldfish Cheddar Jalapeno Mega Bites Bag

What are Goldfish Mega Bites Cheddar Jalapeño?

Like many of us, Goldfish came into the new year with a resolution — to get JACKED. Pepperidge Farm’s classic cheddar cracker goes Mega, doubling in size and bringing the heat with Cheddar Jalapeño seasoning.

How are they?

Goldfish Cheddar Jalapeno Mega Bites In the Bag

They’re good, but not super exciting. I was really surprised by the intensity and accuracy of last spring’s Frank’s RedHot collaboration, and with those lingering in my memory, I want a more robust taste from something with the word “mega” on it. The jalapeño is definitely there, bringing a nice heat to the tried and true cheddar flavor of the standard Goldfish cracker, but it doesn’t really wow me.

I’ve found with the Flavor Blasted line that the dusty seasoning applied is never as potent as a proper junky potato chip, and that applies here. I want a bit more bite from the fish as a whole.

Goldfish Cheddar Jalapeno Mega Bites Spill

One of the elements I really enjoy about Goldfish is their volume, and I’m not sure the bigger size adds anything positive to my preferred snacking experience. They’re not bad or stale, but the texture is ever-so-slightly less enjoyable than the original size. The crunch isn’t quite as tight, and I can’t get as many into my mouth at once, so there’s a less satisfying crunch.

Anything else you need to know?

A serving of regular Goldfish clocks in at 55 pieces for 30 grams, whereas the Mega Bites come in at 22 for 30 grams, officially making them MORE than twice the size of the classic fishies. While there’s also a 10 calorie boost for the Mega Bites, I would say it’s safe to assume each Mega is about 2.25 times the size. For reference, here’s a Mega next to a classic Golden Oreo.

Goldfish Cheddar Jalapeno Mega Bites Size

Conclusion:

While this review may seem negative, I actually think Goldfish are underrated. Cheez-Its are my favorite cheesy cracker, but right behind them are Goldfish, and they’re frequently on hand as a go-to snack for my partner. These fishies will absolutely be devoured, but I wouldn’t repurchase them, as I don’t think the bigger size leads to bigger satisfaction.

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 5.9 oz
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (22 pieces/30 grams) 150 calories, 7 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 320 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein.