REVIEW: Dairy Queen Raspberry Fudge Bliss Blizzard

Dairy Queen Raspberry Fudge Bliss Blizzard

What is the Dairy Queen Raspberry Fudge Bliss Blizzard?

One of the new additions to Dairy Queen’s 2020 Summer Blizzard Menu, this one features real raspberries, soft fudge pieces, and choco chunks mixed by the magical Blizzard machine with vanilla soft serve.

How is it?

I give this one an “A,” as in adequate, acceptable, average…that’s all I could find for synonyms starting with the first letter of the alphabet. My issue here is that I did not get much of a raspberry taste, and therefore, not much bliss.

Dairy Queen Raspberry Fudge Bliss Blizzard Raspberry Bits

The promotional photos from DQ feature good-sized chunks of raspberries perched atop a mountain of soft serve covered with two types of chocolate. My Blizzard, however, had what would best be described as flecks or specks of raspberries. My hopes that the fruit chunks had simply sunk down a bit during the melting that occurred from the drive-thru window to my house were dashed after a furious digging expedition yielded nothing.

Dairy Queen Raspberry Fudge Bliss Blizzard Top Choco

The raspberry taste was quite mild and no match for the double dose of chocolate, which was amply mixed throughout and on top of the Blizzard. The soft fudge and choco chunks worked nicely together with the different textures, and the flavors merged well with the vanilla soft serve. But if you are expecting a distinctive raspberry flavor, you might be let down.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Because it has real raspberries, this Blizzard is really good for you! OK, no it isn’t. Not even close. But it is less unhealthy for you and has fewer calories, fat, and sugar than most other varieties. Plus, a medium has 20 percent of the recommended daily value of Vitamin C, so all you need to do is throw down five of these and you’ll be all set for the day. Disclaimer: you’ll also have to run a marathon plus some extra miles to work off the 4,000 calories.

Conclusion:

“You’re not bad, but I am disappointed in you” is what I tell my kids when they do something stupid, and it’s also what I told this Blizzard as I consumed it. Look, it’s hard to make a bad Blizzard using any combination of candy, chocolate, and fruit, although eggplant and olives are technically both fruits, so it wouldn’t be an impossible task. So this is still a good Blizzard, but it’s also pretty forgettable.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: Medium
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Medium) 800 calories, 32 grams of fat, 19 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 310 milligrams of sodium, 117 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of dietary fiber, 89 grams of sugar, and 16 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Sonic Queso Burger

Sonic Queso Burger

Though not scientifically accurate, I believe the addition of queso to most things gives them at least a 75% rise in both their likeability and deliciousness factors.

Made up of mostly cheddar, this world-renowned cheese sauce has blessed everything from the most basic of store brand corn chips to the most expensive of cuts of beef, probably.

That being said, Sonic’s latest experiment in fast food tastiness, the Queso Burger, proves this unified theory in literally buckets of cheese, and I, for one, would love to be entirely dowsed by it.

Sure, at first glance, the Queso Burger might not look like anything spectacular, with only a small drop of bright yellow cheese dripping down the side of my specimen. But taking a large bite from the burger will elicit the most heat-friendly of smiles as the explosions of warm meat and hot queso dance a brave bolero across my yum-addled tongue.

Sonic Queso Burger Bunoff

But there’s a bit more to the Queso Burger than the haughty helping of much-loved queso. Parting the burger in two reveals a more than healthy batch of not only grilled onions, but also – hot damn! – Hatch green chiles, liberally swimming in the cheese sauce over the sweaty meat, begging you to lick them off the bread lustfully.

Served on the requisite toasted bun with just a squirt or two of ketchup and mayonnaise, the Sonic Queso Burger is a surprising hothouse of Tex-Mex flavors. This powerful meat-treat was merely hinted at with its last burger, the Sweet n’ Tangy Bacon Cheeseburger. It’s excitingly progressive when a business like Sonic taps into their Latin side, ain’t it?

Sonic Queso Burger Side

This mixture of queso and chiles is pure lit dynamite, one that I would like to see on Sonic’s tater tots, onion rings, and — oh please oh please oh please — a variety of breakfast burritos. But, until that morning blissfully occurs, the Queso Burger is Sonic’s Cinco de Mayo gift to us all.

And be sure to order a tall Rt. 44 when you get this burger because you might need it.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 800 calories, 51 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 105 milligrams of cholesterol, 1360 milligrams of sodium, 52 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 32 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Little Caesars Pepperoni Cheeser! Cheeser! Pizza

Little Caesars Pepperoni Cheeser Cheeser Pizza

What is Little Caesars’ Pepperoni Cheeser! Cheeser! Pizza?

From the undisputed world champion of excessive and flamboyant monikers for pizza, like the ExtraMostBestest, comes perhaps Little Caesars’ most fanciest freshtastic pizza ever. This pie includes three luxury accoutrements —- fresh mozzarella, sweet basil, and a toasted asiago-parmesan crust.

How is it?

Amazingly, Little Caesars might have undersold this one on the name. Yes, the unnecessary use of exclamation points is there, and “cheeser” is non-sensical, but the taste of this one actually surpasses the name.

A wise man named Meatloaf once opined, two out of three ain’t bad. With apologies to Mr. Loaf, when it comes to pizza enhancements, I would argue that two out of three is really good.

Little Caesars Pepperoni Cheeser Cheeser Pizza Cheese

The fresh mozzarella is the star of this pizza show. It has a pleasant, mild flavor and much firmer consistency than regular chain pizza cheese. It also delivers that satisfying “snap” when you bite through it.

Little Caesars Pepperoni Cheeser Cheeser Pizza Crust

As for the crust, there is quite a bit of it, and if it were just plain old crust, it would definitely be too much. But this has a bold cheese flavor (mostly from the asiago and not so much from the parmesan) and a crunchiness not normally found with Little Caesars’ round pizza. I liked this crust a lot.

While the fresh mozzarella and crust are both excellent, the sweet basil is like sprinkles on a cupcake. It makes it look better but does not add much to the taste. But like I said, two out of three is really good, and the basil does nothing to detract from the success of its cheese and crust friends.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Little Caesars Pepperoni Cheeser Cheeser Pizza Slice

Select your slice with care if you want some of the fresh mozzarella. As best I could tell, there were seven slabs of the delicious chewiness on my pizza, but they were put on a bit haphazardly and not every slice was graced with one. I’m no mathematician, but if you have seven pieces of cheese with eight slices, someone is getting screwed. Even some of the promotional photos from Little Caesars seem to show a slice or two being deprived of fresh mozzarella, so if you are sharing with friends or family, make sure you are not last in line.

Conclusion:

Is this the best pizza I’ve ever had? No, of course not. It’s from Little Caesars. That’s a silly question to ask. But is it the best whole pizza you can buy for $7? Yeah, it probably is. The only thing that might make it better is to stuff the crust with cheese…and wrap it in bacon. I don’t even want to think about how Little Caesars would name something like that.

With many of its pies costing just $5, Little Caesars has never been known for great pizza, but if you want something decent using only the change you could dig out of the couch, its pizza gets the job done. Now, if you can scrounge up another $2, you can get something that’s really good and a great value for your money.

Purchased Price: $7.00
Size: Large
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (full pizza, 8 slices) 2,400 calories, 980 calories from fat, 111 grams of fat, 46 grams of saturated fat, 235 grams of cholesterol, 4,620 grams of sodium, 244 grams of carbohydrates, 11 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 109 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Sonic Red Bull Summer Edition Watermelon Slush

Sonic Red Bull Summer Edition Watermelon Slush

What is Sonic’s Red Bull Summer Edition Watermelon Slush?

Can I interest you in a frozen watermelon flavored Red Bull?

How is it?

It’s cool, it’s refreshing, and it hits the spot. That’s not to say it delivers on the whole “energy drink” aspect of it all.

I enjoyed Summer Edition Watermelon Red Bull when I reviewed it because it actually amped me up. The watermelon flavor was a little on the sour and unripe side, but there was no mistaking it was a Red Bull.

It’s pretty much the opposite here. This tastes like a slightly watered-down Watermelon Slush Puppy, all the way down to the consistency of the ice.

Without knowing it was a Red Bull based drink, you’d probably barely notice. Without carbonation, you lose that “jolt” of a typical Red Bull, and the ice and watermelon mask that unmistakable flavor.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Sonic Red Bull Summer Edition Watermelon Slush Closeup

I’ve always preferred Slurpees to Slush Puppy style frozen drinks. I like the very fine ice mush as opposed to the course little pebbles of ice you get from a Slush Puppy machine. For some reason, one big sip is an instant brain freeze. I can feel the little ice shards scraping against the roof of my mouth and it instantly sets off that pain alarm in my cranium. Gulpers beware!

Sonic didn’t seem to offer this in a small, which would have been my preferred size.

Also, Sonic, I think it’s time to get a grip on using Styrofoam cups, no? Sure, plastic isn’t exactly MUCH better, but at least I can pretend that won’t be laying in a landfill for the rest of my life. But I digress…

Conclusion:

It may be a strange summer, but this is worth a buy if you want a quick burst of cool refreshment. It’s sweeter than the Red Bull it mimics, but you won’t get a headache from all the sugar – you’ll get it from the ice.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: Medium
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 250 calories, 0 grams of fat, 75 milligrams of sodium, 65 grams of total carbohydrates, 65 grams of total sugars, 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Flamin’ Hot Doritos Locos Tacos

Taco Bell Flamin Hot Doritos Locos Tacos

In 2012, arguably, the most important fast food creation of the past twenty years hit our national gullet, the Doritos Locos Taco, available in Nacho Cheese and, soon after, Cool Ranch. Only the tastiest thinkers at Taco Bell could have come up with them, and, in return, a hungry America turned these tacos into a nationwide obsession.

I’m happy to say that I’m able to relive that minor passion with the recently released Taco Bell Flamin’ Hot Doritos Locos Taco. It’s a snack food that, with one burning bite, will take us back to those carefree times eight years ago when procuring a Locos Taco was the only pressing thing on our minds.

Taco Bell Flamin Hot Doritos Locos Tacos Innards

A daunting mix of the usual blend of seasoned ground beef, cheddar cheese, and cool lettuce, the star here is the crunchy taco itself: a full Doritos Locos shell covered in the fiery Flamin’ Hot powdery foodstuff. It’s a thick layer that’ll leave even the most casual of taco noshers licking their fingertips seductively just to catch every burning bit.

With a bit of salt to tease the coming heat, though flimsy, the shell truly is another one of Taco Bell’s orchestral delights. It fills the cheeks with an uncompromising heat that actually improves the somewhat rote innards. Take each bite slowly and with meaning to catch the exact moment when it goes from merely hot to Flamin’ Hot.

It’s a momentary slap of fast food sense upside the head, one that is much needed these days.

Taco Bell Flamin Hot Doritos Locos Tacos Standing

And while, unlike the loved Cool Ranch and beloved Nacho Cheese varieties, it might be a bit difficult to down more than two of these at a time, as the Flamin’ Hot variety is far more of an unholy expert’s taco. It’s one for the practiced professional that needs this heat in their life, perhaps with a dash of Diablo sauce for tongue-searing reimbursement.

Purchased Price: $1.89
Size: N/A
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 170 calories, 10 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 380 milligrams of sodium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, 3 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Jalapeno Cheddar Bites

Burger King Jalapeno Cheddar Bites

What are Burger King Jalapeño Cheddar Bites?

Do you enjoy jalapeño poppers from other fast food chains, like those from Sonic and Jack in the Box?

Well, Burger King’s version is basically the same thing, but in a more convenient bite-sized format with a golden deep fried coating that hides a gorgeous glob of a tangy cheddar with tiny jalapeño bits swimming in it.

How are they?

While it would be easy to compare BK’s Jalapeño Cheddar Bites to something like its gimmicky Chicken Fries or Cheesy Tots, these mouth-filling morsels manage to move past that and land almost in a full-meal territory. A bag of eight eat-em-ups can fill almost anyone’s tummy with their somewhat spicy/definitely cheesy goodness.

Burger King Jalapeno Cheddar Bites Innards

Dipping sauce is not necessary.

The peppers provide a suitable enough heat, at least for most of the BK-buying public. While I wish it was a bit hotter, the big bites taste like chile con queso.

Is there anything else you need to know?

I purchased the stacked 8-pack for $2.09, but there is a smaller 4-bite set that runs a whole buck for smaller snack-addicts.

Conclusion:

A win from Burger King, the Jalapeño Cheddar Bites deliver more cheese than heat, but here that’s a great thing that works in its favor and flavor.

Purchased Price: $2.09
Size: 8-piece
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (8 pieces) 327 calories, 19 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 24 milligrams of cholesterol, 907 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein.