REVIEW: Starbucks Lavender Creme Frappuccino

Starbucks’ extensive spring 2024 menu seems to have limited edition beverages for any craving, and if you’re in the market for something frozen, sweet, and extremely floral, the Lavender Crème Frappuccino is the one for you. (It is, however, not the one for you if you’re hoping for some caffeinated pep in your step; the “Crème” designation on a Frappuccino specifically means that it contains no caffeine, as opposed to the java-jammed “Coffee Frappuccinos.”)

Some seasonal menus leave you scratching your head about why anyone would associate that particular flavor with that particular time of year, but that was definitely not the case here. This frap screams “spring” so loudly that I could practically hear birds sing as I picked mine up off the counter! It was as sweet as you’d expect from a drink made primarily of milk, flavored syrup, and whipped cream, but its floweriness was even more noticeable.

If you’ve ever loved the smell of a candle so much that you wished you could eat it, this will be right up your alley. If oversaturated, the flavor could easily become cloying, perhaps even medicinal, but luckily, Starbucks gracefully avoids that pitfall. The lavender was a prominent enough addition to add some intrigue to the Frappuccino’s milky/vanilla-y base but still mellow enough to remain light and refreshing. That being said, it didn’t thrill me; I felt it was definitely good, but definitely not great.

Part of that for me was due to the texture — which admittedly is the same for all Frappuccinos, not just the Lavender Crème one, but if you’ve never tried any of them before, I want to make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into! Some people claim that Frappuccinos, particularly the coffee-less ones like this, are basically just milkshakes, but IMHO (In My Hungry Opinion), they’re more closely related to slushies. After all, once you eat through the pretty covering of whipped cream (or allow it to melt if you’re a bit more patient than me), not even the lovely light purple coloring will distract you from seeing how gritty this frap is. In addition to the tasty ingredients I mentioned earlier, another key component is ice, giving this drink a graininess that I would be quite unhappy to find in a shake. That also means that the frap flavor experience is inherently unbalanced. The earlier sips are likely to be more flavorful as you slurp up more of the syrup, but the closer you get to the end of your drink, the more likely you are to face mouthfuls that are just watery or even straight-up icy, with a taste that can mostly just be summed up as “cold.”

Like the spring flowers that are one day fated to wilt, the Lavender Crème Frappuccino won’t be around forever, so if you love not-quite-milkshakes, the color purple, and/or perfume-y flavors, check it out. But at least for me, when it goes away with the end of the season, it won’t be the end of the world.

Purchased Price: $4.75
Size: Tall (12 oz)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 260 calories, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 35 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: KFC Apple Pie Poppers

One institution of Americana, Kentucky Fried Chicken, has added another icon of Americana, apple pie, to its menu.

These new KFC Apple Pie Poppers feature apple pie filling inside a crust, available in orders of four or ten. They are roughly two inches long, with a seam on one side and slits on the other.

The filling is pretty standard for canned or mass-produced apple pie: small apple chunks in a thick syrup with a noticeable quantity of cinnamon. It’s nowhere near as good as a pie made with fresh apples, but of course, I don’t expect that from a fast food restaurant. I like the way some of the syrupy filling caramelizes as it oozes out of the crust.

And speaking of crust, the pastry is really the star here. It is soft, chewy, and even a little bit stretchy. I know that sounds weird and possibly gross, but I don’t know how else to describe it. It has a wonderful texture! And the flavor is satisfying and buttery.

Taken together, the filling and the crust are similar to apple pies or turnovers from other fast food joints. If you’re reading this blog, you’ve probably eaten something nearly identical at some point.

There is nothing groundbreaking about these KFC Apple Pie Poppers, and I don’t know if I’ll go out of my way to have them again, especially since Kentucky Fried Chicken is not in my regular fast food rotation. However, they are still a tasty dessert option, and they seem like the kind of thing KFC really ought to have on its menu.

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 4-piece order
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 piece) 80 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 9 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Starbucks Lavender Oatmilk Chill

Starbucks’ new Lavender Oatmilk Chill looks so relaxing. The top of it in the photo above makes me feel like I’m hovering above light purple clouds and I’m going to meet the Care Bears. I’m getting sleepy just by looking at it. Heck, if you attach the cup to a necklace or something, you could probably hypnotize me.

The shaken drink features oatmilk, lavender powder, ice, and a scoop of freeze-dried dragonfruit pieces. It’s caffeine-free, so this might do the trick if you want a beverage to help you chill.

My experience with lavender food extends from lavender ice cream in Japan that was totemo oishii (very delicious) to lavender-flavored teas to help me sleep. But something about the Lavender Oatmilk Chill doesn’t have me singing its praises from lavender-covered hilltops.

Its aroma smells very similar to the lavender sleep spray I use, which I’m not sure is good or bad. It’s relaxing but also concerning because it reminds me of a product I’m not supposed to consume. But I consumed this Starbucks drink anyway, and the first couple of sips tasted like fruity cereal milk, but that faded and was replaced with the expected lavender flavor. The oatmilk adds a pleasant creaminess I don’t think I’d get with other non-dairy milk options. While I couldn’t get the scent of the lavender spray entirely out of my mind, I thought the floral flavor was nice and definitely drinkable.

As for the freeze-dried dragonfruit pieces, I’m pretty sure they’re just there to make the drink look even prettier for social media, adding dark purple spots to contrast the light purple drink. Although edible, I’m not sure they’re meant to be consumed because they can’t come out from the sipping lid’s opening. While the drink was shaken vigorously, it didn’t taste like the dragonfruit’s flavor got mixed in with the lavender. But dragonfruit can taste so mild that I’m not surprised it doesn’t come through. They also didn’t do anything for me when I removed the lid and chewed on a few pieces while sipping the drink.

Overall, I like this drink, but I don’t lovender it. But if you’ve been eyeing Starbucks’ Lavender Crème Frappuccino for its lavender flavor and lack of caffeine but don’t want the calories, fat, and sugar the blended beverage has, relax, my friend. The chain’s Lavender Oatmilk Chill is here for you.

Purchased Price: $4.95
Size: Grande
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 230 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 22 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Party Blizzard

Once you reach a certain age, the word “party” takes on a different meaning. As a kid, the parties were non-stop: frequent birthday parties at school, pizza parties after your T-ball team finished last in the league, and a party just because the ice cream truck was in the neighborhood and all your friends got together. In high school and college, some people just needed a time and a place, and the party was on.

But after that, things change, especially if you have kids. Who’s going to babysit, what’s the parking situation like, is the party location more than 10 minutes from my house? If you’ve reached that stage in your life in terms of parties, the good news is that the new Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Party Blizzard has arrived, and there’s no need to have someone watch the kids, unless you don’t want them to get a sugar high.

This creation, a party of the Summer Blizzard Menu, is loaded with sugar in the form of chocolate chip cookie dough, peanut butter topping, peanut brittle crunch, and sprinkles. I’m going to assume you are familiar with the first two components, as cookie dough and peanut butter topping are mainstays of the Blizzard family. They both do a solid job here. The cookie dough is soft and chewy with a hint of chocolate, and the peanut butter topping adds some extra creaminess to the vanilla soft serve base.

As for the peanut brittle, it’s a nice addition but not exactly mind-blowing. The pieces are quite small, sometimes even smaller than the sprinkles, and as such, they deliver more crunch than flavor, especially in a mixture that already has peanut butter topping. If you do zero in on a piece of peanut brittle, there is a slightly different peanut buttery flavor compared to the topping, but it really doesn’t stand apart. The sprinkles add some color and crunch, but they also don’t bring much in terms of flavor.

With a nice mix of chewy cookie dough, crunchy peanut brittle, and sprinkles, this Blizzard delivers some nice texture variation and a solid peanut butter flavor with a hint of chocolate. It would have been better if the peanut brittle pieces were larger, but this Blizzard still delivers a satisfying party for your tastebuds without things getting out of hand.

Purchased Price: $4.19
Size: Small
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 880 calories, 39 grams of fat, 18 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 490 milligrams of sodium, 120 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 87 grams of sugar, and 17 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Picnic Peach Cobbler Blizzard

How many different Dairy Queen Blizzard flavors have there been? No, I’m asking you because I can’t even make a reasonable guess. We have a handy list that goes all the way back to 2009, but it’s not complete and doesn’t include those special variations that Canada sometimes gets. And I imagine there have been many other different Blizzards at DQs around the world. So I doubt anyone at Dairy Queen headquarters even knows the answer. It seems like many new flavors have used the Taco Bell method and just mixed and matched the same five or six ingredients, but the new Picnic Peach Cobbler Blizzard is the first one, at least as far as I can tell, that includes peaches. And now I know why it took so long.

As I’ve said in previous reviews, there’s really no such thing as a “bad” Blizzard unless DQ decides to make one with ketchup, mustard, and hot dog chunks (even though I would definitely try that). But this one lands in the barely good category. It looks very nondescript, and the taste is nothing special either.

I will admit that I’m not the biggest fan of peaches. Something about them being fuzzy and having giant pits has always unnerved me, and the Jack Black song “Peaches” drives me crazy. If you haven’t heard it, I strongly advise against listening to it unless you like having repetitive lyrics stuck in your head all day.

With that said, I do enjoy a nice, fresh peach from time to time, and peach in cobbler form is always tasty. Except here, it’s kind of not. The cobbler part is good. The crust pieces are sweet and chewy and make me think I’m eating cobbler. The problem is the peaches. Now, I don’t expect DQ to have a peach orchard next to the parking lot and pick a fresh one for each Blizzard, but this contains what the DQ website refers to as “peach topping.” Yes, it does have peaches in it, along with a bunch of other things, and the end result tastes something like peach gummies or those weird fruit candy slice things that I’ve never seen for sale at the grocery store but somehow eaten many, many times. The peach flavor was mild and pleasant enough, but the texture was odd. Perhaps using canned peaches would be too mushy or wouldn’t survive the magic Blizzard blending machine, but this version of “peaches” just didn’t make the grade for me.

Even if you love peaches, this one might disappoint you because the peach flavor is subdued, and the topping has an off-putting texture. It’s nice to see DQ adding a new component to the list of Blizzard ingredients, but this one is a disappointment.

Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: Mini
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 350 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 46 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.