REVIEW: Jello Play Monster Slime and Unicorn Slime

Jello Play Monster Slime and Unicorn Slime

I remember slime back in the ’90s when every kid’s dream was to be covered in it on national television or when you had it at home and it was called GAK.

Unless you have been living under a rock, you know that slime has made a comeback in a big way. So big it’s even jumping to entirely different parts of the store. Forget the toy aisle and please welcome slime to the food aisle! It’s 100 percent edible and from Jello Play the makers of, well, Jello.

There are two versions available. There is the Monster version that is neon green and lime flavored. And, Jello managed to loop in another trend with a unicorn version that is bright pink and strawberry flavored.

Jello Play Monster Slime and Unicorn Slime 2

The super fine powders are white with just the slightest tinge of green and pink and have a noticeable smell of their associated flavor. However, as the canister alludes to the creation will be neither solid nor liquid as it shifts back and forth between the two.

Jello Play Monster Slime 1

Jello Play Unicorn Slime 1

For example “Its firm if you squeeze it, but it can also pour and drip like a liquid!” My thoughts are similarly on different sides of the spectrum in that I was both wowed with this product but also horribly disappointed. Let inner child Leonard and current adult Leonard share more about how this went down:

Inner child Leonard: “Ooooh, monsters and unicorns, so fun!! Look it comes with its own scoop and you just add water. WOW, this is SO EASY to make. It’s turning a bright green and pretty pink, how cool!!! OMG MOM, look at THIS. It breaks apart when you pull on it, OMG!!!!!!!!! It’s melting and dripping!!! Now, it’s tough and firm as I’m pushing on it. MOM, feel it, this is SO NEAT. OMG, WOW, SO FREAKING COOL!!!!!!!! And you can eat it. I can’t wait to TRY IT!!!!!”

(Plays with it for another hour)

Jello Play Monster Slime 2

Current adult Leonard: “Wow, this is incredibly messy. The powder is getting everywhere. Let’s try the directions. It seems to be too thick, let’s add more water. Now it’s too runny, add some more powder. This is kind of more like oobleck, that stuff they make for science experiments, rather than slime. I wish it was more translucent and slimy. Now I have to eat it when my hands have been literally all over it? Oh boy.”

Jello Play Unicorn Slime 2

“Yikes, this is disgusting, like pretty gross. It does have a faint lime (or strawberry) flavor, but I thought it would taste better coming from Jello. It tastes like crushed up chalk or a pastry where I hit a large pocket of nothing but unbleached flour. The sweetness of the strawberry definitely fares better than the sourness of the lime with the starchy vehicle. What do I do with it now?”

(Proceeds to dispose of it in the trash can.)

Jello Play Monster Slime 3

I had a lot of fun with these as it’s not every day you get to play with your food and even if you are not a kid the kid in you will surely get immense pleasure out of it. The execution, though, isn’t 100 percent there and don’t expect your guests to fill up on it as your next party’s DIY dessert.

Purchased Price: $5.49 each
Size: 14.8 oz. canister
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/2 cup prepared) Monster – 290 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 115 milligrams of sodium, 70 grams of carbohydrates, 20 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Unicorn – 290 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 105 milligrams of sodium, 70 grams of carbohydrates, 20 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein

REVIEW: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros Cereal

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros

What is Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros?

With unique but dubious flavor choices such as Sour Patch Kids being zapped with a cereal transmogrifier, toast for breakfast is passé.

Luckily, chef Wendell minored in business at Cereal U. and nixed the Avocado Toast Crunch suggestion for revitalizing Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Instead, he’s leaning into his core competency and retooling some of his cinnamon soot spewing factories to produce new Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros.

How is it?

Original Cinnamon Toast Crunch is on my Mount Sugarrushmore of breakfast cereals. So it is no small accolade to say Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros is a slightly different but still fantastic addition. While the smaller squares of Cinnamon Toast Crunch delightfully smother my type 2 sugar receptors, Churros’ sweetness is dialed back despite the sugar content being nearly identical.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros 3

A combination of larger cereal pieces, the omission of fructose, and a heavier cinnamon hand produce a slightly more balanced flavor. Dry, the altered shape packs as much if not even more crunch than Wendell’s piratical competitor.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros 4

More importantly, while Cinnamon Toast Crunch becomes soggy at the sound of a refrigerator door opening, Churros retains its crunch longer in milk. This larger window before soggification creates pillowy bites that call to mind the times I’ve dipped an apple cider donut into a glass of cider. Minus the apple of course. While I’ve never dunked a churro into milk, I expect the result would be similar.

Is there anything else you need to know?

I used unsweetened almond milk in my bowl. I do not expect your choice of milk mate will impact the flavor much.

Conclusion:

If I had to choose between the two, I still slightly prefer Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but do not let that dissuade you from trying them for your yourself. Feeling the pressure to take his milquetoast toast shapes to the next level, Chef Wendell has cooked up something churrific.

Purchased Price: $3.64
Size: 19.7 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3/4 cup) 130 calories, 3 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 2 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Oreo The Most Stuf

Limited Edition Oreo The Most Stuf

Most. Creme. Ever.

Those are the remarkable words I’ve dreamed of seeing since the day I was born. Or at least since the day I ripped into my first Oreo and thought, “Damn, that’s good, but what if…”

No longer are the days of dreaming, as the biggest baddest Oreo of them all is a new limited edition reality. Amidst the slew of fruity, cakey, bizarre, sometimes delicious, and sometimes dysfunctional flavors being cranked out by Nabisco, the cookie gods finally gave us what we all truly wanted – The Most Stuf.

Limited Edition Oreo The Most Stuf Tray

Opening up the package is indeed a visual show stopper. Each cookie takes up a noticeably larger space than your average Oreo and the abundant amount of creamy white filling is nearly oozing from the edges of the wafer. I expected them to be one big clump of crème, but it looks like two regular circles of crème filling smushed together to form one big blob – truly an actual double stuffed, or maybe even triple stuffed, cookie.

Limited Edition Oreo The Most Stuf Stack

The crème is soft and pliable, and biting into one causes the massive mound to squish out of the sides like an epic Oreo Whoopie Pie. The taste is immediately noticeably different, with the creme’s intensely nondescript sweetness taking center stage above the now small-seeming bittersweet wafer.

The lack of vanilla, spice, or anything to make the flavor more than just purely sweet is more apparent than ever, and while it’s no doubt a tasty, if not cloying, treat, it’s almost…too much?

Limited Edition Oreo The Most Stuf Topless

I’m not gonna lie, I felt romantically attached to these cookies before I even found them, and much like a friend who tells you a movie is the greatest film of all time before you even see it, my expectations were high just at the thought of so much stuf. I’m not sure exactly what I expected but what I’m experiencing is different from whatever notion I had in my head.

The usually slightly bitter cocoa notes get drowned out by the sugary crème, and I miss a bit of that balance that is undeniably perfect in the pink-clad Double Stuf. The epic amount of filling makes me realize how much I enjoy the Oreo’s dark chocolaty wafer, and I miss that bold flavor I usually get along with the still present crunch.

This reminds me of the idea that too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. Not that these are bad by any means, but they lack balance. I loved mashed potatoes and gravy, but I don’t want every bite of potato smothered in gravy, taking away from the nuance of the potato. I like a nice smear of mayonnaise on a sandwich, but I don’t want mayo dominating every other flavor in a nice composed sub.

The Most Stuf Oreo is a fun and whimsical junk food creation, but the ideal grocery cookie already exists, and that’s the tried and true Double Stuf Oreo, emanating perfection since 1974.

Purchased Price: 2/$3.00 (sale price)
Size: 13.4 oz.
Purchased at: RiteAid
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cookie) 110 calories, 5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 12 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Pop-Tarts Cereal

Pop Tarts Cereal

Breakfast may widely be considered the most important meal of the day, but I’ve always found it difficult to muster an appetite for much before noon. As a kid, this bothered my mother to no end, and she was always trying to find something, anything, that I would be willing to eat before sending me off on the school bus.

After offering me granola bars, yogurt, and every other remotely wholesome breakfast food known to mom-kind, she found I was always happy to eat a couple of warm Pop-Tarts, no matter how early it was.

Although Kellogg’s new Pop-Tart cereals may have arrived too late to expand my morning meal repertoire, they offer two bowl-bound alternatives to the popular foil-wrapped toaster pastries, and promise, according to the boxes, to pack delicious filling into every bite.

Strawberry

Pop Tarts Strawberry Cereal

With a strong strawberry aroma and thin glaze of icing encasing each piece, I had my hopes set pretty high on this flavor. Unfortunately, just like the kids who opened presents on Christmas Day to find packages of socks and underwear, my expectations were quickly dashed.

Although the cereal smells like the toaster tart it was modeled after, it tastes much blander. Most of what I noticed at first was the “crust” of each square, which seemed very similar to the pastry dough of a strawberry Pop-Tart. While I’ll give Kellogg’s props for consistency, it makes for a very bland and unexciting cereal.

Pop Tarts Strawberry Cereal Innards

The much-touted “delicious filling” also turned out to be a much ado about nothing. The cereal pieces have so little of it in them that they appear visibly hollow when you bite one in half. Worse yet, the little amount of filling is hardly delicious, and gives the cereal a strange sort of off-putting chewiness, especially after it’s been soaking in milk for a few minutes.

Purchased Price: $3.64
Size: 17 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup) 150 calories, 1 gram of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 16 grams of total sugars, 16 grams of added sugars, and 2 grams of protein.

Brown Sugar Cinnamon

In comparison to the strawberry version’s strong first impression, I could tell there was something off about this flavor as soon as I opened the bag. Rather than reminding me of the toaster pastry of my youth, this cereal instead had an unusually strong artificial maple scent, and the squares themselves appeared plain and unappetizing.

Pop Tarts Brown Sugar Cinnamon Cereal

My dismay regarding this cereal’s look and smell was entirely justified, too, since it tastes nothing like the Pop-Tart it was named for. Like with the strawberry version, all of the cereal squares were in desperate need of both more filling and more flavor, and the dusting of frosting on each piece was quickly lost in my bowl of milk.

Purchased Price: $3.64
Size: 17 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 3 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup) 150 calories, 1 gram of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 15 grams of total sugars, 15 grams of added sugars, and 2 grams of protein..

Other Things:

  • Three cups of Pop-Tarts cereal have roughly as many calories as a foil package of standard Pop-Tarts, so both of these are good examples of the common trade-off between quantity and quality.
  • Both boxes make a big deal about how having sprinkles supposedly makes eating a bowl of cereal more fun, but the sprinkles here so small you almost need a magnifying glass to see them.

REVIEW: Carl’s Jr. Beyond Famous Star

Carl s Jr Beyond Famous Star

I realize it may not look like much, but the Carl’s Jr. Beyond Famous Star is probably the fast food burger of the year.

Yes, it may be only January, but God bless Carl’s Jr. for unleashing this wonderfully unknowing beef-substitute on their many meat-weary fans and, even more so, those just looking for something not only a bit healthier, but deliciously different in the new year.

Beyond Meat has been making a bit of a wave lately in fast food, making different partnerships with places like Del Taco — if you can find them — to live out its wholly utopian dream of replacing meat with a fully plant-based foodstuff. If its faux-beef patties taste this good — better even than the real thing, if you ask me — don’t ever wake me up. Allow me to forever slumber in this world.

The basic skeleton of the Carl’s Jr. burger is all here: the buns, lettuce, tomato, pickles, ketchup, secret sauce, and so on, with the option of cheese or no cheese to make it a bit more tangibly vegan. And while the smell is different than a usual slab of burger beef on the grill — think of it more like a wafting scent of Sunday morning on the busy farm, if you will — the Beyond Meat taste is quite like anything I know I’ve had, at the very least inside a Carl’s Jr.

Carl s Jr Beyond Famous Star Patty

You may expect something like this Beyond Meat to be remarkably dry, but it is actually the perfect balance between perfectly juicy and properly flambéed, the signature Carl’s Jr. mess running down the front of your shirt. Is it actually grilled? Who knows? But, like so many other things in this world, does it really matter when it tastes this good?

You’d really think that more fast food joints would offer the Beyond Meat as an option — or at least bring it to my town, won’t you Del Taco? — easing the usual vegetarian-phobics, at the very least, into a solvable Meatless Monday solution, like Paul McCartney and PETA routinely says.

I gotta say, this burger worked for me.

However, while the calorie count is not as terrible as the chain’s standard burger, the sodium is well over 1500 milligrams, giving people trying to cut that back a small pause for concern. Still, if you’re only eating one a week — that seems about fair, eh? — you should probably be fine. Just don’t substitute these for an everyday meal, usually on your lunch break, especially when detrimentally paired with fries and a Coke.

I’m thoroughly surprised with Carl’s Jr. latest endeavor for the vegetarian community — and the wannabe one — applauding its decision to go above and, yes, Beyond, with this latest call to a most tasty form of positively edible action. Cómpralo ya!

Purchased Price: $6.29
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 710 calories, 40 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 1550 milligrams of sodium, 61 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 30 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Chips Ahoy Fudge Dipped Thins Bites

Chips Ahoy Fudge Dipped Thins Bites

What are Chips Ahoy Fudge Dipped Thins Bites?

They’re basically Mini Chips Ahoy coated in fudge and shoved into a resealable bag that makes it easy to store the cookies, but also makes it easy to get to the cookies.

How are they?

I’m fine with Chips Ahoy and the fudge used, but these are not so wonderful that I’ll eat them all up, making the resealable bag unnecessary.

Chips Ahoy Fudge Dipped Thins Bites Coating

The coating tastes like whatever Nabisco uses for its other fudge-dipped snacks, like the seasonal, I-don’t-know-why-these-keep-coming-back-every-year Limited Edition Fudge Covered Ritz Crackers. The chocolatey exterior is what makes these a little more appealing than regular Chips Ahoy, and I did enjoy the snack as a whole. But, the familiar cookie flavor doesn’t come through until most of the chocolate melts away. Also, with the fudge, it’s hard to distinguish between the chocolate chips in the cookies and the coating.

Chips Ahoy Fudge Dipped Thins Bites Cookies

But, the coating is also why I don’t want to eat a whole lot of them. It’s not the best tasting stuff because it’s a little waxy and cheap tasting. For the first several pieces, I don’t mind it, but the waxiness and lower middle tier flavor build up on my tongue to the point where it gets to me and I don’t have the urge to shovel more into my mouth. I need to give my taste buds a break before I can eat more. Thank goodness it comes in a resealable bag.

Is there anything else I need to know?

Saying “Thins Bites” is weird. Also, the Oreo version works better because the Oreo is instantly recognizable, while the Chips Ahoy-ness doesn’t come around until most of the fudge melts away. Did I mention it comes in a resealable bag?

Conclusion:

Chips Ahoy Fudge Dipped Thins Bites are okay. Unless you have some issue with Chips Ahoy cookies or the fudge used, I’m sure you’ll enjoy them.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 6 oz. pouch
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (10 cookies) 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.