REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo Froot Loops Waffles (2022)

Kellogg s Eggo Froot Loops Waffles Box

What is it?

We’ve known for some time that Froot Loops is discontent with their lot in life. Dissatisfied for years now with their small corner on the grocery store shelf, nestled between the Honey Smacks and the Apple Jacks, they’ve been throwing themselves around like some rummed-up pirate on shore leave.

They were gummies for a spell after they were Pop-Tarts; they’ve been made into bars and straws. They were Easter Peeps once, and who could forget the time they became donuts from Carl’s Jr.? Well, now they’ve made their way into Eggo waffles. (Well, again. The first time was in 2003. Given the shared parentage, maybe it’s surprising it’s not a standard offering.)

How is it?

Kellogg s Eggo Froot Loops Waffles Plated

It’s exactly as you imagine: mostly run-of-the-mill Eggo waffles, but every so often, you get an aggressively sweet bit of Froot Loops cereal. There was no discernible textural difference between the regular waffle and the cereal piece, but I could see them, and I sure as hell could taste them.

I tried them plain and then in a universally standard waffle format — i.e. with butter and syrup — and it is worth noting that, while the Froot Loops taste is powerful on the naked waffle, when gussied up, it loses 95% of its impact. With butter and syrup, you’re just eating a normal waffle that gets weirdly chemical-tasting at the end.

Kellogg s Eggo Froot Loops Waffles Closeup

Anything else you need to know?

These weren’t bad; I don’t want anyone to think that. I’m just not sure under what circumstance they get eaten. Most people eat waffles with toppings, yeah? And if you’re topping these things, there’s no point in having them be Froot Loops waffles. It’s a real Catch Twenty-Toucan Sam. (Oh wow, I am so sorry about that. It just slipped out.)


Froot Loops should work on their self-esteem and realize that, as the world’s preeminent artificially fruit-flavored, ring-shaped cereal, they are good enough, they make us proud, and all we want is for them to be happy with who they are.

Purchased Price: $2.69
Size: 12.3 oz/10 waffles
Purchased at: Sun Fresh
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 waffles) 190 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes Strawberry Milkshake Cereal

Kellogg s Frosted Flakes Strawberry Milkshake Cereal Box

Update: We also tried the Cinnamon French Toast version! Click here to read our review.

Unlike breakfast staple brethren Cheerios — which seems to infuse itself with five or six new flavors each year (fingers crossed that “Bubble Gum” is somewhere on its to-do list!) — Frosted Flakes tends to keep to itself. Oh sure, it’s not immune to jazzing things up from time to time — who could forget Birthday Confetti Frosted Flakes in 1997? — but for the most part, they’re content just being sugared up Corn Flakes.

And this is a bit surprising, really, given that a plain, nondescript cereal such as the Frosted Flake is a choice vehicle for experimentation. I mean, why can’t I get a Tropical Mango, Apple Cinnamon, or Blastin’ Berry variety? Because those all sound terrible, you say? Okay, sure. But can I interest you in a Strawberry Milkshake Frosted Flakes? Because Kellogg’s is actually doing that one.

The Kellogg’s website says, “with ripe, juicy strawberry flavor coupled with rich, creamy notes, this cereal turns the milk in your bowl a fun, vibrant pink!” There is a lot wrong with these bold assertions, so I’d like to take this opportunity to address some of the errors.

Kellogg s Frosted Flakes Strawberry Milkshake Cereal Flakes

First of all, these flakes do not possess a “ripe, juicy” strawberry flavor. Sure, they have a strawberry flavor, but it is a passive and light one, maybe the level of a diluted pink Starburst. Like, 30% of a pink Starburst, I’d say.

Second, there are no “rich, creamy notes.” Nothing about this cereal made me think “rich” or “creamy.” And really, I feel like that was the biggest missed opportunity with this offering. Because it is a strawberry MILKSHAKE flavor, and not just strawberry, I was hoping for something reminiscent of a milkshake taste. Some creaminess or even some maltiness might’ve evoked the right emotion. Instead, I was left with some standalone artificial strawberry flavoring on your everyday F. Flakes.

Kellogg s Frosted Flakes Strawberry Milkshake Cereal Milk

And finally, they say, “this cereal turns the milk in your bowl a fun, vibrant pink!” Okay, now “fun” is subjective, obviously, but this cereal did turn my milk pink. Would I call it a vibrant pink? No. It wasn’t as vibrant as calamine lotion or Pepto-Bismol. But sure, it was pink. The box proclaims “makes delicious STRAWBERRY flavored milk!” making this claim one of the key selling points. And on this account, I’d say yes, mission accomplished. Though it’s been a while since I’ve intentionally had strawberry milk, the light pink leftover milk is definitely similar to what I recall. Does it make me feel like I’m drinking a melted strawberry milkshake, maybe? Well, still no.

Getting a cereal to taste like a milkshake is a pretty tall order, and Kellogg’s didn’t do it with this offering. It did, however, make an okay strawberry-flavored cereal.

Purchased Price: $4.29
Size: 23 oz box (“Family Size”)
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup – cereal only) 140 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 190 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 11 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Van Leeuwen Summer 2022 Ice Cream Flavors at Walmart That Aren’t Grey Poupon

Van Leeuwen Summer 2022 Flavors

Brooklyn-based ice creamery Van Leeuwen has risen to snack food cultural prominence over the past year with its novelty offerings mimicking Mac & cheese, pizza, and most recently, Grey Poupon mustard. It also does more “normal” seasonal flavors, like the spring variety we reviewed in April. It’s back for the summer with four new selections: Summer Peach Crisp, Campfire S’mores, Espresso Fior Di Latte Chip, and Honey Cornbread with Strawberry Jam.

Espresso Fior Di Latte Chip

Van Leeuwen Espresso Fior Di Latte Chip Top

Okay, so confession time: I didn’t know what “Fior di Latte” was. I ate this ice cream without checking, assuming it was just several words meaning “a kind of Italian coffee.” Much to my surprise, Fior di Latte is actually several words for “a kind of Italian cheese.” I’m glad I didn’t know that going in, or I’m afraid it may have negatively colored my opinion of this delightful ice cream. Going back with my newfound knowledge, though, yes, you can definitely pick up a salty swirl from the cheese. It blends perfectly with the strong coffee flavor, and the dark chocolate chips and graham pieces interspersed throughout make this the second best pick out of the bunch.

Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 310 calories, 19 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 25 grams of sugar (18 grams of added sugar), and 6 grams of protein.

Summer Peach Crisp

Van Leeuwen Summer Peach Crisp Top

My first thought on this was, “oh, snap, where’s the peach?” What I didn’t yet know -— but what I subsequently learned here, and then again with the S’mores version -— is that sometimes your Van Leeuwen pint is like Roanoke Island: to get to the treasure, you’ve gotta dig deep. Once you get to the syrupy peach swirl, it’s great, but there’s far too little of it overall. The “gluten-free oat pieces” meant to approximate the crust of a crumble, however, are too abundant, and they detract from the experience. This is worth getting if it’s all you see at the store, but I wouldn’t go nuts trying to find it.

Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 300 calories, 16 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 95 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 29 grams of sugar (21 grams of added sugar), and 5 grams of protein.

Campfire S’mores

Van Leeuwen Campfire S mores Top

Though my overall favorite changes often, Rocky Road is always in my top five favorite ice cream flavors. Campfire S’mores -— which includes two key Rocky Road components -— is sinfully good. The marshmallow is inexplicably fluffy and chewy, and the rich fudge swirl defies all culinary scientific explanation by somehow remaining malleable and syrupy; this is not your grandfather’s frozen fudge ribbon. The ice cream itself purports to be “toasted marshmallow,” but it was indistinguishable from regular vanilla. Even still, this ice cream is Hall of Fame worthy, and it took considerable willpower to not down the container in a single sitting.

Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 310 calories, 16 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 30 grams of sugar (20 grams of added sugar), and 5 grams of protein.

Honey Cornbread with Strawberry Jam

Van Leeuwen Honey Cornbread Top

Look, I get that this was an attempt at adventurousness, but there’s a reason we don’t put cornbread in ice cream. The texture was gritty and off-putting and, well, very cornbread-y. Great with a Southern dinner, but maybe not in my frozen dessert. The strawberry jam was rich and strong, and while it could have potentially helped keep this tolerable, like the peach pint, there wasn’t enough of it. Of the four, this was the only one I was not compelled to save for later.

Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 310 calories, 18 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 110 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 31 grams of sugar (24 grams of added sugar), and 5 grams of protein.

Except for the Cornbread variety, I would repurchase all of these. Even the cheese one. In the case of the S’mores version, I may buy a whole pallet’s worth.

All pints were $4.98 and purchased at Walmart.

REVIEW: DiGiorno Eggs Benedict Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza

DiGiorno Eggs Benedict Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza Box

My background with breakfast pizza is best described as inexperienced. I’ve had it, both fresh and frozen, but if I had to estimate how many times, I’d say six. Compare that with how many times I’ve had pizza (964) and how many times I’ve eaten breakfast (12,573), and you have a pretty insignificant number relative to breakfast and pizza consumption. In other words, cheese=MC2.

This is DiGiorno’s maiden voyage into breakfast pizza, and it’s doing it with three new varieties -— Sausage and Gravy, Cinnamon Roll, and Eggs Benedict. All are served on a croissant crust, something the brand has previously employed on regular pizzas. (But I haven’t had.)

DiGiorno Eggs Benedict Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza Frozen

Here’s my next startling confession: I’ve never had eggs Benedict. The thing is, I don’t like English muffins. Like, at all. Their texture is abrasive, they smell like feet, and biscuits exist. I mean, there’s just no earthly reason to eat them. And seeing as how I’ve never encountered eggs Benedict involving anything but, well, here we are.

DiGiorno Eggs Benedict Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza Flaky

But again, the base layer of this pizza is a croissant. And how is DiGiorno’s croissant? It’s decent. It’s a little buttery and a little flaky, but it’s not on par with Pillsbury croissants from a can. But it makes a sturdy base and is marginally more interesting than DiGiorno’s traditional crust.

On top of the OK Croissant (my favorite Radiohead cover band composed entirely of pastry chefs), you’ve got “cheddar and mozzarella cheese, scrambled eggs, diced ham and hollandaise style sauce.”

DiGiorno Eggs Benedict Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza Cooked

So, there was some cheese, but not as much as on a normal pizza, and that’s fine because of the “hollandaise style sauce” I mentioned previously. It tasted like cheese sauce. And as established, I’ve never had eggs Benedict. So it should come as no surprise that I don’t really know what hollandaise tastes like. Then I Googled it up, just to see what hollandaise is supposed to be. And most things I read describe it as a “rich and decadent egg based sauce” with a “buttery flavor” that can range from “sweet to tangy” preparation depending. Or, in DiGiorno’s case, “cheese sauce.” And don’t get me wrong — I love cheese sauce! But if you’re looking for a true hollandaise, this probably isn’t it.

DiGiorno Eggs Benedict Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza Slice

The ham was good. Smoky, evenly distributed bite-sized rectangles. My only complaint is that I could have used twice as much. The eggs were a bit rubbery and indistinctive. At one point, I said, “I wish this thing had more egg,” but then I remembered the whole “rubbery and indistinctive” thing and wondered why I’d want more of that.

As I was typing this out just now, I was wondering if I should give this a 7 or an 8, and I was also kind of wondering how I could justify an 8 when most of the review seemed to suggest that I didn’t like it; but that’s not the case. I really liked it, despite the sad egg and “meh” crust. This thing shined on the totality of its parts instead of failing on the weakness of its pieces. Did it taste like eggs Benedict? I mean… I don’t know. I suspect not. Did it taste like someone turned a Ham and Cheese Hot Pocket into a pizza? Weirdly, yes. But I kind of love that. And in that spirit, I kind of loved this. (Except for the price tag. $10 is insane for a frozen pizza, inflation or not.)

Purchased Price: $9.99
Size: 23.4 oz
Purchased at: Hy-Vee
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/5th of the pizza) 330 calories, 14 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 40mg of cholesterol, 690 mg of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of sugar (including 1 gram of added sugars), and 10 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Halo Top Chocolate Cake Batter Light Ice Cream

Halo Top Chocolate Cake Batter Pint

What is Halo Top Chocolate Cake Batter Light Ice Cream?

The gold standard of diet ice cream is doubling up on the dessert by infusing (Kind of? Theoretically?) its light ice cream with chocolate cake batter. Or, you know, at least some candy sprinkles. Because those are on cakes. Sometimes.

How is it?

Halo Top Chocolate Cake Batter Top

Thoroughly unnecessary. See, the ice cream is fine. It’s creamy and surprisingly rich for healthy ice cream. Halo Top’s chocolate base is a good one, and the different-than-normal-ice-cream texture almost makes it reminiscent of a frozen chocolate malt concoction you’d get at a baseball game. (Have you ever had one of those things? Comes with a wooden spoon? Those things.)

Halo Top Chocolate Cake Batter Bowl

So, ice cream = good. But for the life of me, I can’t tell what makes this “Chocolate Cake Batter.” Except for the aforementioned sprinkles. And here’s the thing about the sprinkles: there are a lot of them. And they’re, you know, sprinkles. Just little crunchy bits of mostly tasteless confection. They don’t really add anything, unless you’re four years old. In which case, how’d you end up on this website, anyway? That’s pretty weird.

Anything else you need to know?

Probably not surprising, but Wikipedia has a wildly robust page on sprinkles. I was Googling to find out where they are called “jimmies” (it’s a northeast United States thing, and it always makes me laugh), but I also learned that in England — and Australia and New Zealand — they are also popularly referred to as “hundreds and thousands.” I love it, but it’s so wordy! When you go to the ice cream shop, do they actually ask, “An’ would you like ta’ top off yeh Sundae with some ‘undrets an’ thousands, guvnah?” That’s wild!


Regular Halo Top chocolate ice cream is a nice, comparatively healthy frozen dessert treat, and I’d recommend it to just about anyone. I’d only suggest getting the kind with HUNDREDS AND THOUSANDS if regular chocolate is out, though. Or you’re four. In which case, again, I ask, “What are you doing here? How are you reading this?”

Purchased Price: $5.99
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Hy-Vee
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (86 grams) 110 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of dietary fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.