Sriracha mania is sweeping the nation.
Though the famous hot sauce has been adored for ages, sriracha has recently enjoyed a surge in popularity. We’ve seen sriracha beef jerky, sriracha lollipops, and sriracha vodka. Even Subway and 7-Eleven have jumped on the rooster sauce bandwagon. What’s next? Sriracha candy canes?
Umm, apparently sriracha candy canes are a thing now.
It’s true. Sriracha Candy Canes are manufactured by J&D’s Foods, the company that brought you such classics as Bacon Salt, Baconnaise, and bacon-flavored sexual lubricant. Because there’s no scent more arousing while doing the nasty than the stench of cured meat.
I never noticed it before, but sriracha is pretty much the perfect Christmas hot sauce. It practically screams Santa Claus and ho-ho-hos. Just look at it: a vibrant red sauce inside a bottle topped with a green cap? Those are Christmas colors, dammit. So next time you bring me some figgy pudding, pour some sriracha on that shiiiiiit.
Grossly overpriced at $7.99, each box of candy canes includes twelve hot sauce-flavored Christmas treats. It’s no surprise that J&D’s Sriracha Candy Canes aren’t actually licensed by Huy Fong Foods, the California company responsible for those beloved red bottles decorated with a rooster. So is the flavor of these sriracha candy canes actually based upon the generic sriracha named after the Thai city of Si Racha?
Just like every other box of candy canes I’ve ever purchased, several of the candy canes arrived broken. Clearly, these things need to be redesigned. There are so many superior, less fragile Christmas shapes: snowflakes, Christmas trees, ostracized caribou with luminescent noses.
The candy canes are white with red and green stripes, a possible allusion to the red color of sriracha and the trademark green cap of Huy Fong Foods’ bottles. The unenlightened candy-lover could easily be fooled into believing these are normal candy canes. The back of the box even recommends using the sriracha candy canes for “tricking your unsuspecting friends and children.”
The sriracha candy canes start off tasting very similar to normal candy canes, possessing the all-too-familiar sugar flavor of hard candy, yet lacking any trace of peppermint. Soon, the heat begins, slowly growing into a moderate burn and proceeding to increase as more of the candy cane is consumed. For me, the heat never reached the point of unbearably spicy, but did unpleasantly coat the back of my throat on occasion. Be sure to have a bottle of water nearby!
To be honest, these sriracha candy canes were better than I expected. Though they’re little more than spicy candy canes, the hard candy flavor and added heat blend nicely. Nevertheless, they definitely do not taste like the hot sauce. All of the pepper and garlic notes for which sriracha is well-known for were completely absent.
J&D’s Sriracha Candy Canes could be the perfect novelty gift for your sriracha-obsessed family and friends this holiday season. However, their high price tag and lack of authentic sriracha flavor leaves them strictly in the realm of gag gifts. Yes, the heat combined well with the sugary flavor of the candy canes, but I’m confident I could purchase a generic spiced holiday candy for much cheaper.
Happy holidays, everyone! (Is Srirachanukah already over? Dang. What am I going to do with all this sriracha-flavored gelt?)
(Nutrition Facts – 1 cane (14 grams) – 60 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 9 grams of sugars, and 0 grams of protein.)
Item: J&D’s Foods Sriracha Candy Canes
Purchased Price: $7.99
Size: 12 candy canes
Purchased at: ThinkGeek
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Hard candy flavor. Burn grows slowly. Srirachanukah.
Cons: Overpriced. Doesn’t actually taste like Sriracha. Gag gift. Ostracized caribou.