Iâ€™m suspicious of â€œhealth foods,â€ or as we used to call them while growing up, â€œhippie food.â€ It all began with my parentsâ€™ attempt to feed me plain rice cakes during my â€œhuskyâ€ years. If youâ€™ve never had a plain rice cake, you know that it tastes nothing like cake, not even the crap you can make with an Easy Bake Oven.
Ever since then Iâ€™ve avoided anything â€œhealthy.â€ Unfortunately, due to my slowly expanding gut, Iâ€™m beginning to see less and less of my penis. So Iâ€™ve decided to give another shot at health foods.
Recently I came across the EcoBar, which was on sale at the local 24-hour drugstore. The name of it sounds healthy, doesnâ€™t it?
There were several flavors to choose from: Rain Forest Frost, Mountain Majesty, Ocean Berry, Desert Delight, and Tropical Splendor. At first, I thought about the Desert Delight, figuring it must be good like a scoop of vanilla ice cream and hot apple pie. However, after reading the ingredients, which consisted of dates, nuts, figs, honey, toasted oats, and crisp rice with a creamy yogurt coating, I thought it didnâ€™t seem much like a desert. Maybe if they added some chocolate, then it would seem like a desert.
Instead, I decided on the Tropical Splendor, which sounded pretty tropical with its pineapple, papaya, coconut, and mango, along with honey, toasted oats and crisp rice with a yogurt coating. It sure ainâ€™t no plain rice cake.
One of the first things I noticed about the EcoBar was its nutritional value. It contains 17 vitamins and minerals: Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Vitamin E, Thiamin, Riboflavin, Niacin, Vitamin B6, Folate, Vitamin B12, Biotin, Pantothenic Acid, Phosphorus, Iodine, and Zinc.
With a plain rice cake, I believe you get vitamins and minerals as well.
Hmm, letâ€™s see. Nope, no vitamins or minerals, just oodles of tasteless rice.
How do you expect to get healthy from that?
With my past plain rice cake experience, I was expecting the worst from this health food. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised by how good the chewy Tropical Splendor EcoBar was. The yogurt coating made the bar sweet, like a good candy bar. The mixture of dried fruit also made it very tasty.
The â€œEcoâ€ in EcoBar stands for â€œecology,â€ which is the relationships between organisms and their environment. Too bad the â€œEcoâ€ in EcoBar didnâ€™t stand for â€œeconomy,â€ because if they were a little cheaper, I would eat them a little more often.
For the price of one EcoBar, I could get two chocolate bars. Hey, isnâ€™t chocolate considered health food?
Item: Tropical Splendor EcoBar
Purchase Price: $1.19 (on sale)
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Surprisingly good. Yogurt coating makes is taste more like candy.
Cons: Cheaper to buy candy bars. (Hey isnâ€™t chocolate good for you!). A little pricey.