(Editor’s Note: I thought with it being The Impulsive Buy’s second anniversary today, I would take the time to let you know more about The Impulsive Buy via an interview with someone who knows me quite well. As a matter of fact, I’ve slept with this person so many times that this person knows the ins and outs about me, The Impulsive Buy, and a couple of sexual position that I cannot physically explain without dislocating something. The person I’m talking about is…myself.)
Marvo: First off, let me congratulate you on reaching the two year milestone at The Impulsive Buy.
Marvo: Thanks, it’s been an awesome two years.
Marvo: So let’s start at the beginning.
Marvo: Let’s.
Marvo: How did The Impulsive Buy start?
Marvo: On a dark and stormy night, I was celebrating the fact that I was unemployed and my girlfriend broke up with me by eating a half gallon of ice cream and Salt & Pepper Pringles, while reading The Onion online. I was reading The Onion because I believe that humor is the bandage for emotional wounds, I was eating ice cream because I believe it is the aloe vera for emotional burns, and I was eating the Salt & Pepper Pringles because they were new. While I was eating the Salt & Pepper Pringles, all I could think about was how crappy they were, but at the same time I was trying to prevent myself from laughing while reading some story at The Onion. That’s when I had my “you’ve got your chocolate in my peanut butter and you’ve got your peanut butter in my chocolate” epiphany and decided to start up The Impulsive Buy.
Marvo: Where did the name “Marvo” come from?
Marvo: Well, as you probably know, my first name is Marvin and I shortened it to Marvo, thinking no one would read my blog. But people began reading and the name just stuck. Thank goodness I didn’t use my original Yahoo! account name, sexxxycollegeboy1993.
Marvo: Did you know that “Marvin” means “great lover of the ocean?”
Marvo: Yes, I did, but I’m not a big fan of the ocean. Also, I like to think of myself as a great lover…period.
Marvo: I believe all your ex-girlfriends would say differently.
Marvo: You’re probably right.
Marvo: You’ve done 314 reviews so far, which one is your favorite?
Marvo: I don’t like to play favorites. I consider every single review to be like one of my illegitimate children from dozens of mommas. I sort of feel like Kevin Federline…Times twenty. I love every review equally, except the Rice Krispies Treats Kazaam Crunch review, which I wish I could drop off at an orphanage’s doorstep.
Marvo: So how are you going to celebrate the second year anniversary of The Impulsive Buy?
Marvo: I’ll probably be doing the same thing I did when it was born, eat a half gallon of ice cream, eat a can of Pringles, and cry my single lonely ass to sleep. Oh, also I’m going to have a frickin’ prize drawing. Booyah! Oh, wait. I mean, Yahtzee!
Marvo: What do you have as prizes for the Second Anniversary Prize Drawing? A date with you perhaps?
Marvo: A date with me would probably be the worst prize ever, because I would probably just take the winner to McDonald’s and only allow them to order stuff off of the Dollar Menu. Instead, three lucky Impulsive Buy readers will each receive a mystery box containing various products the Impulsive Buy has reviewed over the past two years. The contents of each box will vary.
Marvo: What do readers have to do to enter? Is there nudity involved?
Marvo: Thank goodness, no nudity…This time. To enter the Impulsive Buy’s Second Anniversary Prize Drawing, just leave a comment for THIS post with whatever you want to say. Please make sure you fill out the email field because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. Don’t worry about the shipping.
Marvo: Are you going to be a dick and not allow international entries?
Marvo: The Impulsive Buy will start accepting entries for the drawing on Wednesday, August 9, 2006 and stop accepting entries on Wednesday, August 16, 2006. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is open to EVERYONE.
Marvo: So how are you going to determine the winners?
I haven’t decided that yet. Although I could just do what I did last year.
Marvo: Hey aren’t you forgetting the fine print?
Marvo: Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you spam about sexy, single males waiting for you. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you letters that say “Do Not Discard” on the front of the envelope, which you eventually discard because it’s just a damn credit card application. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or Britney’s second child becoming the Antichrist.
Marvo: Well thanks for taking the time for this interview.
Marvo: Thanks for having me. Now if you’ll excuse me there’s a half gallon of ice cream and a can of Pringles with my name on them.