Author: Marvo

ANNOUNCEMENT: Looking for New Reviewer(s) (2012 Edition)

Marvo 13 Comments

The Impulsive Buy is currently looking for enthusiastic, talented, funny, and self-motivated individuals to write processed food product reviews. We hope to bring on one new reviewer to write one or two reviews per month, but may hire a second.

Writer Requirements:

1. Must have a computer.
2. Must have a digital camera (or a very good camera on your smartphone).
3. Have spelling and grammar abilities equal to or greater than mine.
4. Have an ability to entertain people with words.

It’s a paid gig, but we won’t say how much we pay per review. However, we can say it’s enough for you to have a pizza party for one…maybe two.

If you would like to apply for the position, here’s what you’ll need to send:

Writing Samples:

1. One sample review in TIB format (nutrition facts, rating, price, pros, cons, etc at the bottom). The review can be about whatever food product you want. Just to let you know, we won’t be using the review on TIB. The sample review will help us determine if your writing style would be a good fit. To give you an idea of how long a TIB review is, they range from 400-1,000 words.

2. Photo(s) of the product you reviewed. (High quality versions, please!)

3. A bio and why you want to write for The Impulsive Buy.

A Few Notes:

1. Due to legal reasons, we can’t hire minors.

2. At this time, we’re not looking to add writers from outside the United States.

3. Please don’t send your review as an attachment. Copy and paste your writing samples into your email. However, you may send the photos as attachments.

To apply, please email your sample review, pictures, and bio to [email protected] with “Boom Shakalaka” in the subject line. The deadline to apply will be May 31st.

Thank you.

Marvo
Editor-in-Chief

Note: To those people wondering about guest reviews on TIB. So far, I’ve received 30+ emails from people who are interested in doing guest reviews. I still haven’t decided whether or not to have them on TIB, but I’m kind of leaning towards having them. But before I make a decision, I want to bring on a new paid reviewer. I’ll make a decision about guest reviews after the May 31st deadline passes.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 5/16/2012

Marvo 9 Comments

Here are some new products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. We may or may not review them, but we’d like to let you know what new items are popping up. We’ll also occasionally throw in an unusual product.

Blue Bunny Naturally Frozen Yogurt

Blue Bunny’s new line of Naturally Frozen Yogurt isn’t Greek, like the frozen yogurt from a particular Vermont company, but it’s 100 percent natural. The photo above only shows two flavors, Bordeaux Cherry Chocolate (Bordeaux cherry frozen yogurt mixed with dark cherry pieces and dark chocolate chunks) and Caramel Praline Crunch (butter pecan frozen yogurt with praline pecan pieces swirled with a salty caramel ribbon), but there’s also Vanilla Bean and Chocolate Vanilla Swirl. Thanks to Impulsive Buy reader greendaychick for the photo.

Orville Redenbacher's Ready-to-Eat Popcorn

Can’t wait the 2.5-3 minutes to pop a bag of microwaveable popcorn? Well then, Orville Redenbacher’s now has something to satisfy your impatient soul — ready-to-eat popcorn. The bagged popcorn comes in four flavors: Sharp White Cheddar, Classic Kettle Korn, Farmhouse Cheddar, and Signature BBQ. Thanks to TIB reviewer Adam for the picture…and the next two pictures.

M&M's Sweet & Salty Snack Mix

When I’m bored, I make couch mixes, which are like trail mixes, except they’re for people who don’t like to hike. They’re always made with M&M’s and I add whatever snacks are available around the kitchen, like cookies, nuts, and potato chips. The folks at Mars have started making their own snack mixes with M&M’s. They come in three varieties: the Milk Chocolate Snack Mix includes milk chocolate M&M’s, mini chocolate chip cookies, peanuts, and mini pretzels; the Dark Chocolate Snack Mix has dark chocolate M&M’s, raisins, almonds, and mini pretzels; and the Peanut Snack Mix is made up of Peanut M&M’s, mini shortbread cookies, almonds, and mini pretzels.

Goldfish Graham Cookies & Cream

I remember when Goldfish crackers came in two flavors, original and cheddar. I. Am. Old. This latest edition to the Goldfish Graham line combines chocolate grahams, vanilla grahams, and a sprinkling of cream. Now that I think about it, this would make a wonderful couch mix addition.

Ghost Peppe Salsa

Impulsive Buy reader Ben sent us this photo of Mrs. Renfro’s Ghost Pepper Salsa. Ghost chili peppers, which are also known as Bhut Jolokia chili peppers, are the world’s hottest chili peppers, and it’s frickin’ awesome that someone made a salsa using them. Mrs. Renfro’s Ghost Pepper Salsa isn’t a new product (it’s been around since 2010), but it’s new to me and it’s something I’d like to burn my digestive system with. Here’s a review at the Burn Blog.

If you’re out shopping and see a new product on the shelf (or really unusual), snap a picture of it, email it to us at [email protected] with “Spotted” in the subject line, and you might see it in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW: Nabisco Newtons Fruit Thins (Apple Cinnamon Oat and Lemon Crisp)

Marvo 20 Comments

Nabisco Newtons Fruit Thins (Apple Cinnamon Oat and Lemon Crisp)

People love Nabisco Newtons Fruit Thins.

Actually, I don’t know how accurate that statement is because I’m basing it on the 60+ positive comments attached to our news post about them last year.

Those commenters sounded so excited about them that I’m surprised every single one of those comments weren’t all in caps and included excessive exclamation points!!!!!!! Here are some words they used to describe the cookies and how often they showed up.

The word “love” was used in 14 comments, “delicious” was used four times, “great” was used three times, “wonderful” was used three times, “awesome” was used four times, “good” was used four times, “can’t stop eating” was used three times, “new favorite” was used three times, “addictive” was used three times, “yummy” was used three times, and “yummola” was used once.

Despite all those positive adjectives and praise, I had yet to buy any Newtons Fruit Thins flavor until I picked up the newest varieties — Apple Cinnamon Oat and Lemon Crisp.

If you’re later than me to the Newtons Fruit Thins party, these aren’t like the soft, cake-like Newtons you might be used to. These are crispy cookies with bits of real fruit baked into them. But you shouldn’t consider Newtons Fruit Thins to be health food because the fruit in them provides no real nutritional benefits. Instead, you should think of them as a slightly healthier cookie substitute for other popular Nabisco cookies.

Let’s compare.

Three Chips Ahoy! cookies have 160 calories, 8 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of fiber, and 11 grams of sugar. Three Oreo cookies have 160 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of fiber, and 14 grams of sugar. But, three Apple Cinnamon Oat Newtons Fruit Thins have 140 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 1 gram of fiber, and 8 grams of sugar.

Oh, but nutrition facts aren’t the only difference. If high fructose corn syrup bothers you like the poor ratings of NBC’s Thursday night comedies bother me, then you’ll be happy to know Newtons Fruit Thins don’t have any, which can’t be said of the other two.

Nabisco Newtons Fruit Thins (Apple Cinnamon Oat and Lemon Crisp) Closeup

The aromas that wafted out from the Apple Cinnamon Oat and Lemon Crisp Newtons Fruit Thins packages made me wish Renuzit made air freshener cones that smelled as pleasant. Each cookie is shaped like a pastie and is two and a half inches in diameter, which is slightly bigger than a Chips Ahoy! cookie and significantly smaller than any clock that has hung from Flavor Flav’s neck.

With these cookies there are two different textures, the crunchiness of the oat cookie and the chewiness from either the dried lemon peel or dried apple baked into them. However, some of the cookies had dried lemon peel bits that were unpleasantly tough. My molars did not like. Even though the fruit pieces weren’t evenly distributed throughout the cookie, I could taste fruit in every bite. The Lemon Crisp had a pleasant citrus flavor that’s more sweet than tart, while the Apple Cinnamon Oat had a wonderful balance of fruit and spice, but both cookies don’t have an overwhelming flavor or sweetness.

Apple Cinnamon Oat and Lemon Crisp Newtons Fruit Thins are delightful…or in the words of commenters they’re delicious, great, wonderful, awesome, good, addictive, and yummy cookies that I can’t stop eating because I love them and they’re my new favorite cookie. Yummola.

(Nutrition Facts – 3 cookies – 140 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 45 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 7 or 8 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Nabisco Newtons Fruit Thins (Apple Cinnamon Oat and Lemon Crisp)
Price: $3.59 (on sale)
Size: 10.5 ounces/30 cookies
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Apple Cinnamon Oat)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Lemon Crisp)
Pros: Delightful. Made with real fruit. Not overwhelmingly sweet. Slightly healthier than popular Nabisco cookies. Pleasant aroma. Crunchy oat cookie. 8 whole grains per serving. Fruit flavor in every bite.
Cons: Some dried lemon peel pieces were a bit hard. The word “yummola.” Ratings of NBC’s Thursday night comedies. Blog comments all in caps. There aren’t any Renuzit baked goods air fresheners.

REVIEW: Nabisco Chewy Chips Ahoy! Gooey Caramel Cookies

Marvo 11 Comments

Chewy Chips Ahoy Gooey Caramel

The Chewy Chips Ahoy! Gooey Caramel cookies are a lot smaller than the Chocofudge and Megafudge Chips Ahoy! Chewy Gooey Cookies we reviewed last year.

What kind of size difference are we talking about?

In cookie terms, they’re slightly wider than an Oreo. For those of you who’ve never had an Oreo, I’m going to put it into terms that might help you understand. If you saw someone with areolas the size of the Chewy Chips Ahoy! Gooey Caramel, you’d think they’re normal, unless they had three of them. But if another person had areolas the size of the other Chips Ahoy! Chewy Gooey cookie varieties, you’d want them to put their shirt back on.

At first, I didn’t think the cookies were at all gooey, much like the other Gooey varieties, but it turns out they were. I just didn’t eat them properly. Instead of eating them like any normal human being would, I had to split the cookie in half in order to experience the gooeyness, exactly like what’s shown on the product’s packaging.

Who the hell would eat these cookies in a way that involves the same motions used to open a newspaper? If you’ve watched Sesame Street, you know the proper way to eat cookies involves grabbing a whole bunch of them, throwing them at your mouth, and allowing most of the cookies to fall to the ground while yelling, “Om nom nom nom!”

Chewy Chips Ahoy Gooey Caramel Closeup

You’d think a Chewy Chips Ahoy! cookie stuffed with gooey caramel would be awesome, like watching kittens yawn, but I can’t say that it is.

Each cookie is impregnated with a good amount of caramel, but the caramel flavor is lacking. It’s almost as if I’m eating regular Chewy Chips Ahoy! cookies, which isn’t bad, but there should’ve been more to it. If these cookies had emotions, I would buy a Twix candy bar, eat it in front of them, and then tell the cookies that’s how caramel should taste with cookies and chocolate.

I looked through the ingredients list and found most of the stuff needed to make caramel, but the list didn’t specifically say there’s caramel. It specifically says there are semisweet chocolate chips and lists its ingredients in between sad and happy emoticon mouths, but it doesn’t do the same for the caramel. I thought that was a bit strange.

Overall, the Chewy Chips Ahoy! Gooey Caramel cookies are disappointing. While they’re decent cookies and have a nice chewiness to them, I can’t say they’re addictive, which I think is a pretty good measurement of how good a cookie is. They don’t make me want to eat them faster than Law & Order can rip a story from the headlines.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 125 milligrams of sodium, 50 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Nabisco Chewy Chips Ahoy! Gooey Caramel Cookies
Price: $2.98
Size: 10 ounces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Gooey, if you eat them a certain way. Chewy. Twix. Lots of caramel. Om nom nom nom! Watching kittens yawn.
Cons: Disappointing. Lacks good caramel flavor. Smaller than other Chewy Gooey Chips Ahoy! varieties. Not addictive. The wasteful way I eat cookies.

NEWS: Jack in the Box’s Value Deal Includes New Chicken Nuggets and Jr. Jack

Marvo 2 Comments

Jack In The Box

Yes! Jack in the Box has chicken nuggets!

Wow. I used exclamation points. I must be really excited about Jack’s nuggets.

But, now that I think about it, I kind of regret using exclamation points because I’m not that enthusiastic about them, but I’m too lazy to hit the up arrow key to change them, and the more I type, the farther away they become.

Jack’s nuggets are available in six-pieces and in five-pieces, if you order the new Value Deal, which also includes a Jr. Jack, 16-ounce Value Drink, and Value Fries, all for $3.99. What’s a Jr. Jack? I think I can best explain it in the form of a SAT or GRE exam analogy — Whopper Jr. : Whopper :: Jr. Jack : Jumbo Jack.

A Jr. Jack without cheese has 325 calories, 15 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 716 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein. There isn’t any nutritional info for five chicken nuggets, but there is for six, which has 238 calories, 17 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 26 milligrams of cholesterol, 604 milligrams of sodium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, and 9 grams of protein.

Image via flickr user Matt McGee / CC BY ND 2.0