REVIEW: Silk Soy Nog

Silk Nog

During the holiday season I look forward to several things, like trying to get onto Santa’s naughty list, tricking women to kiss me under the mistletoe, wishing all the white people Happy Kwanzaa, and drinking egg nog, which I look forward to the most.

If I owned a dairy, I would not only piss off the ghost of French scientist Louis Pasteur by drinking milk straight from a cow’s udder, I would also make egg nog available throughout the year, because sometimes I crave it in July when the temperature rises and my body yearns for something cool, refreshing, and made out of something that comes out of a chicken’s butt.

Of course, the problem with having egg nog year round is the fact that real egg nog is as fattening as Rosie O’Donnell would be to an anaconda, which makes drinking egg nog year round good for Nicole Richie, but not good for everyone else.

Sure there’s light egg nog, but even that can make Ms. Richie look a little pudgy. So if she wants to keep her skeleton-like figure and enjoy the holidays with a little nog, she could always drink Silk Soy Nog.

The lactose-, dairy-, cholesterol-, gluten-, egg-, casein-, peanut-, and MSG-free Silk Soy Nog is good for the lactose-intolerant, vegans, PETA members, autistic people, and The Biggest Loser contestants. It also has no saturated fat and has 180 calories per one cup serving.

Being a regular Silk Soy Milk drinker (Very Vanilla and Chocolate flavors are the best…Double true!), I thought I would enjoy the Silk Soy Nog, much like I enjoy putting Canadian and Japanese coins into Salvation Army buckets, but at first, I didn’t like its taste, which kind of reminded me of the Silk Very Vanilla Soy Milk, except with a little spice and a little less nutty flavor. However, after drinking an entire quart-sized carton, the flavor began to grow on me.

So I guess it has an acquired taste, much like beer and emo rock.

The consistency of the Silk Soy Nog wasn’t thick like regular egg nog or light egg nog, but it was thicker than regular Silk Soy Milk. It also wasn’t as yellowish like regular egg nog. Instead it had a less festive grayish/yellowish color. Instead it had a light pastel yellow color.

(Editor’s Note: Maybe I should stop drinking this stuff straight from the carton. Anyway, after actually looking at it in a cup, it has a light pastel color. Sorry about that.)

If given the choice between regular egg nog and Silk Soy Nog, I would definitely choose the regular egg nog, because it’s more satisfying and much more flavorful. Although, because of its fat and cholesterol content, I wouldn’t be able to drink much of it, unless I enjoy the hardening of my arteries. The Silk Soy Nog was good, but I don’t think it’s something I would look forward to next holiday season.

But I do look forward to putting on my illuminating Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer underwear next Christmas.

(Sidenote: I once drank an entire quart-sized carton of regular egg nog in less than five minutes in high school. My digestive system was not happy about that and because of that experience, I DO NOT recommend drinking an entire quart-sized carton of regular egg nog in less than five minutes. Although, it would kind of make a neat YouTube video or TIB review.)

Item: Silk Soy Nog
Price: $3.99
Size: 1 quart
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: It tastes good, but may take getting used to. The word nog. No cholesterol. No saturated fat. Lactose-free. Putting Canadian and Japanese coins into Salvation Army buckets. Drinking egg nog.
Cons: If you don’t like soy milk, you’re not going to like this. Not having egg nog available all year long. Not as thick as regular egg nog. Drinking an entire carton of egg nog in less than five minutes.

26 thoughts on “REVIEW: Silk Soy Nog

  1. I don’t know, the idea of “healthy” eggnog just doesn’t sound very appetizing to me. Kind of like the word “tofuturkey” sounds unappetizing. But, if you are trying to keep from packing on the holiday pounds, I suppose it’s an option…

  2. I don’t think there’s anyone in the galaxy that likes Egg Nog as much as Rom, from Deep Space Nine. He even named his kid after it.

  3. If you’re going to drink some nog, might as well make it egg nog. That’s what my mom always said. Well, that’s what she would have said if she could speak English.

    Point is…egg nog is meant to be artery-clogging and preferably full of booze. Vegans may find this to be a worthwhile substitute, but my heart belongs with the chickens.

  4. Merry Christmas, Marvo. I prefer Dean’s Egg Nog, which is so thick that I can’t drink it, but sip it. Usually out of a shot glass with rum.
    I wish I could get into the soy milk craze because it’s so healthy, but IMO, it’s one of the nastiest beverages ever. Soy Egg Nog seems to be pushing it. And the fact that it’s GRAY makes it worse.

    Stick with the basics, Marvo. Me and Dean’s will be waiting for you. 😉

  5. I love Silk soy milk, but this sounds truly horrendous. But why bother with egg nog at all? Just go straight for the rum. Happy Alcoholmas!

  6. Chuck – Kevin Federline

    Zadillo – But would he like Silk Soy Nog?

    Ace N. – Chicken butt.

    Brie – Merry Christmas to you too. Anyway, I don’t think it would be a good idea to wait for me. I’m sure the Dean’s Egg Nog has an expiration date on it and it need to be refrigerated.

    Kiki – It’s got to be a mixed drink. I don’t think I can do rum straight up.

  7. sounds pretty good. i might try that. I LOVE SILK! I had some Vanilla this morning. not Very Vanilla, more like Slightly Vanilla.

  8. Happy Christmas Marvo.
    I like egg nog, but so as to remain an hourglass instead of a figure eight, I found Boathouse Farms soy chai and I could swear, it tasts pretty darn close to egg nog, and you can drink it all year round! Used to be you could only get it at Target, but I found it at the behemoth for half the price.

    Cannot wait to see the rudolph underwear! please please take a pic!

    😉

  9. “Kevin Federline” is unappetizing-sounding, sure, but not as annoying sounding as “K-Fed” which sounds like a new kind of dog food. And then the celbreties dating names like “Brangelina” or “Bennifer” which just make you want to hurl.

  10. Better you than me. I don’t go near egg nog. I’ve sold so much of it at work over the last week that I would be perfectly happy if I never saw or smelled it again. I’ll just stick to the rum that I’d have to dump in it anyway.

    Light up undies? Sweet.

  11. Why are “health” foods (i.e.: anything made out of fake food to resemble real food) always expensive and have no flavour?

  12. I personally have the Southern Comfort egg nog, which I see that you reviewed last year. It’s rather tasty, and I can’t imagine substituting it for soy nog.

    What the hell is a “nog” anyway? And why does egg nog sound cool, but soy nog sounds like Klingon language?

  13. Hmm, since you reviewed the Southern Comfort egg nog on Jan 2006, then technically you reviewed it this year, just many months ago. Whoops!

  14. wow. i had a dream about this review. it must’ve made an impact when i read it yesterday–at work, when i shouldn’t have been :X

    anyway. someone in the dream had sampled the same egg nog and said, “Yeah, i agree, it’s gray” refering your review.

    teh weird. o_o

  15. hunter – If you haven’t tried Very Vanilla, you MUST TRY VERY VANILLA. It rocks hard!

    Melis – Happy Belated Christmas to you. I like iced chai, but I haven’t tried a soy version. Thanks for the recommendation. As for the Rudolph underwear pic, maybe next year.

    Emily – Well I guess it’s no longer a secret since you just said it in your comments. Oh wait, this is TIB, a little known product review blog. Yeah, your secret is still a secret.

    Chuck – K-Fed Dog Food. DUDE, you should totally trademark that!!!

    Diana – I used to stock the dairy products at the supermarket and for a while I stayed away from milk, but I was still a growing boy at the time, so I needed my milk for healthy teeth and strong bones.

    Webmiztris – Liquor is quicker to get someone in the holiday mood.

    Muneer – Because companies are smart.

    Toni – That Southern Comfort Egg Nog was good, although I didn’t buy any this year.

    Jamie – I wonder if Silk makes a creamer.

    rukia – Weird? No. I have dreams about product reviews all the time. Sometimes I even have nightmares.

  16. I’ve tried this product, and quite honestly found it to perfectly represent the intersection of everything I don’t like about soy milk and everything I don’t like about commercial eggnog.

    I drink very little eggnog, but what little I do have gets made from cream, milk, eggs, sugar and nutmeg, with some bourbon thrown in just for fun.

    I found the Silk Nog (nog sounds kinda dopey on its own, doesn’t it) to be very beany, a little too sweet, and despite being organic, artificial tasting. (FWIW, my soymilk preference is Organic Valley plain, which is pleasantly unbeany.)

    And yes, the soynog is kind of gray.

  17. When I moved back from Peru a few years ago, it was the very beginning of January, and I was jonesing for some nog. Unfortunately Silk-nog was all I could find. Needless to say, I didn’t get past one glass and that almost made me ralph. I’m not a fan of soy-milk either, so I guess that influenced my judgment a bit also.

    On a side note, I was just wondering last week if anyone could do the “Gallon Challenge” with eggnog. I would pay to see that.

  18. i’m with larry b on his soy milk choice – organic valley is a way better brand than Silk, which for some reason has TAKEN OVER the supermarket refrig case, eliminating choices for me, the consumer, who finds Silk soy milk to blow bigtime. Organic Valley, much better. Soy Dream, even better better

  19. Chuck – I say you call it “K-Fed Is Dog Food.”

    jamie – Holy crap! Silk is slowly taking over the world. I look forward to battling Silk Ice Cream one of these days.

    Peachy – I rather not have to deal with silk underwear — but that’s just me.

    LarryB – I haven’t had homemade egg nog in a while. Maybe that’s something for a weekend project.

    Mad Cow – Johnny Knoxville would probably do it in Jackass 3.

    tg – I dunno about the Soy Dream. I tried that when I first started drinking soy milk. Didn’t really like it. Maybe I should give it another try. Happy New Year to you too!

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