Chest Waxing

Written by | February 25, 2008

Topics: 7 Rating, Experiences

(Editor’s Note: The above video is a little over nine minutes long. Enjoy my pain.)

I am sure many of you women out there do not think we men can handle pain. You may think that all men are a bunch of pussies, who cannot handle paper cuts or pushing a baby out through an orifice that geometrically should not have a baby go through. Well I’m here on behalf of men everywhere to prove that men can handle pain. If I had the plumbing, tools, and feel good medications necessary to give birth, I totally would, but instead you’re going to have to settle for getting my chest hairs ripped out.

My hair ripping dominatrix for my morning appointment was Terry, who specializes in Brazilian waxes. Unfortunately, unlike most dominatrixes there weren’t any “safe words” I could use if the pain became a little too much to bear. I just had to suck it up, like all guys forced to watch the movie Atonement with their lady friends. Although, I did come with a few possible “safe words,” like “peanut butter,” “Stop! Hammer Time!,” and “Perez Hilton is an attention whore.”

The application of wax felt good. The warm sensation was like putting on a pair of boxers straight from the dryer or tenderly embracing someone covered in Icy Hot. Terry used two types of wax on my pudgy body: a strip wax, which was used for large areas, and a hard wax, used for smaller and sensitive areas (ie. nipple). Both may have felt good going on, but the strip wax was pretty much a bitch coming off.

The strip wax was more painful since it was responsible for pulling out the majority of my fur in large clumps. I really didn’t want to know what it is like being Velcro, but thanks to the strip wax I now know. The hard wax was not so bad. It felt like a band aid being ripped off of my body or pasties being ripped off of my nipples.

Some areas were really painful, while with other areas I felt nothing at all. Overall, I thought it was not so bad of an experience. Sure, if you watch the video, I yelp out in pain many times, but I also do that with, Vixen, my real dominatrix, and whenever I yelp out in pain, our “safe words” are not far behind, which are usually, “Peter Cottontail hopping down the bunny trail.” I did not expect it to be a painless procedure and if I did not get it done by a professional, it probably would have been extremely painful.

After the waxing, there was redness, which wasn’t painful, but stuck around for about four days. Despite the redness, it felt nice having a smooth chest and I rubbed my chest quite a bit. As a matter of fact, I rubbed it so much that if I had sandpaper for hands, I would no longer have nipples. The smooth feeling lasted a little bit longer than I expected. Stubble didn’t start to show until two weeks later and my chest hair feels softer than usual.

Would I do it again? Yes, I would and I’ll probably make another appointment to see if it is easier the second time around and to get closer to my metrosexual side. But now with a smooth chest, when women have sex with me, they can close their eyes (or put a bag over my head) and imagine I’m someone else, instead of a furry woodland creature.

(Editor’s Note: I would like to thank TIB friend Cian for setting my appointment for pain and I would also like to thank Terry from Heaven on Earth Spa for making my experience as memorable as possible.)

Item: Chest Waxing
Price: $40 (regular $55)
Purchased at: Heaven on Earth Spa
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Not as painful as I thought. Smooth chest for the ladies. Professional waxers. Lasted longer than shaving. Applying the wax felt good. Safe words. Putting on a pair of boxers straight from the dryer.
Cons: Redness for several days after. Not permanent. Strip wax. Being Velcro. Dominatrix prices. Getting waxed by a non-professional.






53 Comments For This Post I'd Love to Hear Yours!

  1. Anni Lenox says:

    and i like hairy chest :)

  2. That was absolutely awesome. I loved the way the hard wax looked. It was cool. Plus, the ‘laughter substituted for pain’ thing was kind of funny.

  3. Gigi says:

    Even I was cringing when she ripped some of those strips off! You went way further for the sake of a review then I am willing to go (next on Gigi Reviews: Pap Smears!)

    If you make it to the ATL I will buy you a drink any time.

  4. RunsWithSoda says:

    After the Wax: Review –

    Pros: Respect from TIB readers. Smooth sexy chest like an underwear model. Endorphin high after painful wax job.

    Cons: Ingrown hairs around the nipple area. Itchy nipples from ingrown hairs. Chafed nipples from frequent scratching of itchy nipples.

  5. Rose says:

    Awh, this is adorable. Women love a man biting his lip in pain, even if we can’t see his eyes/forehead, maybe that’s even better. you sexy beast. I’m sure your chest is soft and huggable now.

  6. Tel says:

    You laugh like a girl.

  7. Lane O says:

    yup, i have to agree with the above regarding you being so brave and stuff. and even though you may have done it to satisfy your curiosity, i believe you did for us. so thank you! ps: my very hirsute friend once had his back done and you can’t even tell he had anything done some time ago.

  8. Sam says:

    ok, dude. but you don’t have to get your PUBES WAXED.
    i’d take a chest wax over a bikini wax any day, kiddo.
    ;]

  9. Bets says:

    Oh my god….that cracked me up!

    Can’t wait to see what’s up next.

  10. laina in da swamp says:

    that was bad ass. you look pretty hot from the nose down dude. i havn’t been on your page here in a long time. glad i finally got back around here.

  11. laina in da swamp says:

    oh yeah, if i send you this thing they make here at the gas station in the middle of nowhere called a CHICKEN BALL will you review it??? its about the size of a softball and its ground up uhhhh stuff i choose not to think about and its deep fried. freakin tasty. yay for chicken ballz! :D

  12. pants says:

    This was nothing like Rush Hour 2

  13. Bobby Boogie says:

    I think in honor of you Marvo I’m going to cover my back with Nads and have my friend who throws footballs about 60 mph when I’m 5 feet away rip it off. Should be fun!