Chest Waxing

(Editor’s Note: The above video is a little over nine minutes long. Enjoy my pain.)

I am sure many of you women out there do not think we men can handle pain. You may think that all men are a bunch of pussies, who cannot handle paper cuts or pushing a baby out through an orifice that geometrically should not have a baby go through. Well I’m here on behalf of men everywhere to prove that men can handle pain. If I had the plumbing, tools, and feel good medications necessary to give birth, I totally would, but instead you’re going to have to settle for getting my chest hairs ripped out.

My hair ripping dominatrix for my morning appointment was Terry, who specializes in Brazilian waxes. Unfortunately, unlike most dominatrixes there weren’t any “safe words” I could use if the pain became a little too much to bear. I just had to suck it up, like all guys forced to watch the movie Atonement with their lady friends. Although, I did come with a few possible “safe words,” like “peanut butter,” “Stop! Hammer Time!,” and “Perez Hilton is an attention whore.”

The application of wax felt good. The warm sensation was like putting on a pair of boxers straight from the dryer or tenderly embracing someone covered in Icy Hot. Terry used two types of wax on my pudgy body: a strip wax, which was used for large areas, and a hard wax, used for smaller and sensitive areas (ie. nipple). Both may have felt good going on, but the strip wax was pretty much a bitch coming off.

The strip wax was more painful since it was responsible for pulling out the majority of my fur in large clumps. I really didn’t want to know what it is like being Velcro, but thanks to the strip wax I now know. The hard wax was not so bad. It felt like a band aid being ripped off of my body or pasties being ripped off of my nipples.

Some areas were really painful, while with other areas I felt nothing at all. Overall, I thought it was not so bad of an experience. Sure, if you watch the video, I yelp out in pain many times, but I also do that with, Vixen, my real dominatrix, and whenever I yelp out in pain, our “safe words” are not far behind, which are usually, “Peter Cottontail hopping down the bunny trail.” I did not expect it to be a painless procedure and if I did not get it done by a professional, it probably would have been extremely painful.

After the waxing, there was redness, which wasn’t painful, but stuck around for about four days. Despite the redness, it felt nice having a smooth chest and I rubbed my chest quite a bit. As a matter of fact, I rubbed it so much that if I had sandpaper for hands, I would no longer have nipples. The smooth feeling lasted a little bit longer than I expected. Stubble didn’t start to show until two weeks later and my chest hair feels softer than usual.

Would I do it again? Yes, I would and I’ll probably make another appointment to see if it is easier the second time around and to get closer to my metrosexual side. But now with a smooth chest, when women have sex with me, they can close their eyes (or put a bag over my head) and imagine I’m someone else, instead of a furry woodland creature.

(Editor’s Note: I would like to thank TIB friend Cian for setting my appointment for pain and I would also like to thank Terry from Heaven on Earth Spa for making my experience as memorable as possible.)

Item: Chest Waxing
Price: $40 (regular $55)
Purchased at: Heaven on Earth Spa
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Not as painful as I thought. Smooth chest for the ladies. Professional waxers. Lasted longer than shaving. Applying the wax felt good. Safe words. Putting on a pair of boxers straight from the dryer.
Cons: Redness for several days after. Not permanent. Strip wax. Being Velcro. Dominatrix prices. Getting waxed by a non-professional.

53 thoughts to “Chest Waxing”

  1. Woohoo first comment (I think) I think its painful. I haven’t tried it but I once accidentally gotten duct tape on my arms while taping a box and it was quite painful removing it

  2. First off, I’m super drunk si I sayu i gt to deny anything anything I;ve written tomorrow
    Second – That nose to chest area we get to see, i’ts kind of hot. I’m still a little concerned that you may be a real life acquaintance of mine and I don’t actually know it (yes I live in hawaii).

    Third – So when are you going in for the manzilan I really don’t want any videos but just reading the blog would keep me set for days

    Cheers to your bravery and willingness to understand what women go through all for you men-folk

  3. Finally! The waxing video!

    I’ve got to say, I am impressed by your ability to laugh off the pain. She DID seem like a sadist huh?

    And I hear SOME women love the chest fur accessory. My husband watched the video with me and now I’ll never be able to get him to get it done. Bummer.

  4. Hmmm…this video reminded me too much of the time I burned my arm with hot glue. Oh the trauma. Anyways, you definitely do look smooth there, Marvo. And the video was exxxxtremely funny.

  5. Awww…like a newborn baby bunny. With brown nipples. Yay!

    Okay, so what’s next? I need to be constantly entertained. I’m going to watch you dance while I shoot at your feet.

  6. Oh, what we do for beauty!

    I get the eyebrows waxed regularly, and I’m still not used to the shock of the pain!

    Your grimaces are priceless, though.

  7. You are more man (well possibly less now) than I’ll ever be. I’m surprised you have a lower lip left. Looks like you almost bit it off a few times. Were you actually bleeding a little?

  8. awesome! ~~~~~~~ been waiting a while for this one so I could figure out if I was going to go do the same. now thanks to Marvo’s masochism, I know that it’s not as bad as I thought it would be.

  9. Hmm… You seem like you’re maybe a sheet or two to the wind. Did you take my “Hannah Montana Viewing” approach to chest waxing?

  10. If I wore a hat, it would be off to you. You are a bigger man than I. Of course, I am not a man, so even if you were a total pussy, you would still be a bigger man than I but…this is just an expression – let us not put too much into it. However, Mr. Marvo, I’m quite impressed. That looked painful! Did you put some sort of like…aloe gel on your chest afterwards??!

  11. I actually just watched this with my mom, of all people (she heard me giggling like a kid in a toy store). Much respect from the both of us!
    – S

  12. You’re a brave man, Marvo. But you were wrong about one thing: I don’t see your resemblance to a woodland creature. I was thinking the chest hair was long enough to braid, or something. That’s not too bad, what you have there.

  13. Oooh, I’ve been waiting for this !

    Loved it. That was awesome and it made me giggle like a fool the whole time.

    And now, the legs! We must have the legs!

  14. Wow! you were so… brave, I was imagining something like that “40 year old virgin” scene. And the wax lady was so nice.

  15. Congrats.

    You should get some sort of voice pitch monitor to see exactly how much your voice rises as the waxing occurs.

    Thinking about it, I’d rather get my legs waxed than eat tha fish stick meal again. Wax does not equal vomit.

  16. oh Marvo.. you were so brave.
    So you like the smooth look hmm? really I agree with previous posts and that you had a cute, sexy patch, not a scary gorilla man chest. Now, I need some video of your feet/ankles and the collection will be perfect.. any in the archives?? or maybey I will just send you a footbath to review…
    you were brave Marvo.. very brave

  17. Okay… I may have had a couple of drinks… but that was kinda hot. I’m not seeing this “pudgy body’ you speak of…

  18. okay, that deserves a peek out of lurkerdom…way to put yourself on the line there, Marvo! Holy cow.

  19. Marvo… I love you.

    (That’s all I can muster up right now. Get back to me in a bit and I’ll probably have more. ^_^)

  20. that was awesome marvo! u took it like a man! and maybe u were lying down, but u didnt look that puggy at all! we need to see some pictures!!

  21. @bikerbabeee
    are you making some sort of composite frankenstein marvo? creepy… yet somehow not.

    faced with pain, you laugh, nice

  22. Marvo:

    Based on what I’ve heard from other men who went through this, I think in a few weeks you will be adding another “con” to your list: ingrown hairs.

  23. Not only do you have a titillating chest, you’ve got big balls as well. You get props in my book.

    Next area to wax: eyebrows. I tear’d up the first time I did it, but I man’d up and took it like a female. (:

  24. Okay, so your name is Marvin, you live in Hawaii, and you’re covered with chest stubble. Stalking you has just become 15% easier.

  25. nice… I’m waiting to hear what it was like when your hair started growing back. Chest stubble?

  26. Even I was cringing when she ripped some of those strips off! You went way further for the sake of a review then I am willing to go (next on Gigi Reviews: Pap Smears!)

    If you make it to the ATL I will buy you a drink any time.

  27. After the Wax: Review –

    Pros: Respect from TIB readers. Smooth sexy chest like an underwear model. Endorphin high after painful wax job.

    Cons: Ingrown hairs around the nipple area. Itchy nipples from ingrown hairs. Chafed nipples from frequent scratching of itchy nipples.

  28. Awh, this is adorable. Women love a man biting his lip in pain, even if we can’t see his eyes/forehead, maybe that’s even better. you sexy beast. I’m sure your chest is soft and huggable now.

  29. yup, i have to agree with the above regarding you being so brave and stuff. and even though you may have done it to satisfy your curiosity, i believe you did for us. so thank you! ps: my very hirsute friend once had his back done and you can’t even tell he had anything done some time ago.

  30. ok, dude. but you don’t have to get your PUBES WAXED.
    i’d take a chest wax over a bikini wax any day, kiddo.

  31. that was bad ass. you look pretty hot from the nose down dude. i havn’t been on your page here in a long time. glad i finally got back around here.

  32. oh yeah, if i send you this thing they make here at the gas station in the middle of nowhere called a CHICKEN BALL will you review it??? its about the size of a softball and its ground up uhhhh stuff i choose not to think about and its deep fried. freakin tasty. yay for chicken ballz! 😀

  33. I think in honor of you Marvo I’m going to cover my back with Nads and have my friend who throws footballs about 60 mph when I’m 5 feet away rip it off. Should be fun!

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