Nissin Homestyle Chicken Flavor Cup Noodles Premium

Cup Noodles is pretty much the lowest common denominator when it comes to food and it is so cheap that I believe it is the one thing you can steal from a store and not get punished for it. With it being on the bottommost level of the food chart with Wonder Bread and O’Douls non-alcoholic beer, the only way for it to go is up, and it has, albeit just a little, with the Nissin Homestyle Chicken Flavor Cup Noodles Premium.

You see that word “premium?” Not many goods can have it attached to them. It’s reserved for products that are the finest of the fine, the distinct of the distinctive, and the overpriced of the overpriced. Only things like beer, condoms, wines, chocolates, coffee, hookers, diapers, beef jerky, crackers, maple syrups, teas, nuts, toothpastes, personal lubricants, cake mixes, liquor, water, canned fish, vitamins, band-aids, doggie treats, canned poultry, macaroni & cheese, brownie mixes, shampoos, conditioners, honey, breads, muffin mixes, and dozens more can have the label of “premium” affixed to them.

What puts the “premium” in the Nissin Homestyle Chicken Flavor Cup Noodles Premium? Nissin thinks it’s the chicken-flavored powder and freeze-dried chicken meat that gives it its “homestyle chicken flavor.”

I will wait while you throw up a little in your mouth after hearing “freeze-dried chicken meat.”

Yes, freeze-drying food is usually reserved for astronauts and cereal marshmallows, but the Noodle Nancies at Nissin have created a way to have freeze-dried poultry in a well-insulated, environmentally-unfriendly styrofoam cup. I guess it goes well with the freeze-dried vegetables in it.

While Nissin believes one thing, I personally believe what makes it “premium” is not the freeze-dried chicken meat, it’s the font used to make the word “premium.” If graphic design has taught us anything, it’s that script fonts instantly make things high-class. Having a bikini baby oil wrestling match? Turn something crass into something with class by using script fonts on the promotional posters and flyers. Would you believe something is “premium” if they spelled it in serif or sans serif fonts? I think not.

The premium you’re going to pay to have the pleasure of consuming this slightly higher quality cup of noodles is going to be around 20 to 30 cents more. Surprisingly, the freeze-dried chicken kind of tastes like the chicken in Campbell’s Chicken Noodle soup, which is either a good thing, if you’re Nissin, or a bad thing, if you’re Campbell’s. The broth has a natural chicken flavor with a bit of onion and it even looks more natural than the yellow stuff you get with the regular chicken flavored Cup Noodles. Despite that naturalness, I kind of prefer the original version, since the idea of freeze-dried chicken kind of freaks me out and the whole thing smells funny.

If you want to spend a little bit more on your Cup Noodles for those special occasions, and still want an amount of sodium that can kill small rodents, the Nissin Homestyle Chicken Flavor Cup Noodles Premium is perfect for you.

Or you could just steal it.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 container – 310 calories, 12 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 1180 milligrams of sodium, 42 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of sugar, 8 grams of protein, 20% Vitamin A, 4% Calcium, 20% Iron, and 85 cents less loose change to jingle.)

Item: Nissin Homestyle Chicken Flavor Cup Noodles Premium
Price: 85 cents
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: More natural chicken flavor than regular chicken flavored Cup Noodles. 3 minutes to prepare, less if you prefer your noodles al dente. Zero trans fat.
Cons: Freeze-dried chicken. Smells funny. Mmm…over 1,000 milligrams of sodium. A little bit more expensive. As unhealthy as regular Cup Noodles. Throwing up a little in your mouth.

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26 thoughts on “Nissin Homestyle Chicken Flavor Cup Noodles Premium

  1. Alex Lifeson – Yes, that block stuff is sweatshop monthly payment cheap. Getting 10 for a dollar is insane. I’m surprised we can’t end world hunger with these things.

    Shannon – The regular stuff doesn’t have freeze-dried chicken meat.

    d.mo – Unless that horse is running the Kentucky Derby.

    dee – Just for that, I’m going to review their entire album. :-)

    Kylie – Yes, I did eat it that way, but that was a time long, long ago. It was a time when sodium was not a word in my mental dictionary and the only trans-anything I knew was the Trans Am.

    Brie – I totally do it.

    Brendababe – It’s Brenda-itchen’!

    Red Icculus – I hope that you don’t ever eat asparagus ramen.

    cybele – Oh, that “vending machine tax.” If everything had the “vending machine tax” there would be health care for everyone.

    Clementine – That chicken looks like chicken scratch. HA!!!

    Sarah Smith – I will admit my writing does get a little crass sometimes (sometimes really, really crass), but it’s what makes The Impulsive Buy what it is. My tastes in humor spreads across a wide gamut, from a mild Jerry Seinfeld, to the rants of a Lewis Black, to Judd Apatow movies, Saturday Night Live, The Onion, The Daily Show, and much more. Some are crass, some are sometimes crass, and some are not, but I’m influenced by all of them. Does my “obscene comments” make my writing less palatable? For some people, sure, but that’s the thing about humor, it’s subjective. Over the years, I’ve gained a very loyal following of readers who like my style of writing, and I will admit that my style isn’t for everyone, but trying to please everyone is an impossible task. You may think my writing would be just as excellent without the obscene comments, and I take that as a compliment, but that just isn’t my style of writing and for me it would make writing a lot less fun.

    Wine Blog – Well you can eat one and then avoid salt for the rest of the day, then it won’t be so bad.

    The Lazy Canadian – Actually, if you look close, it’s a pretty bad hack job. I went a little crazy with the clone stamp.

  2. Sarah.. those comments are what keep us regulars comming back. Marvo, you just keep right on with your bad self, we love you just the way you are.

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