REVIEW: Jiffy Pop Stove Top Butter Popcorn

Here at The Impulsive Buy we try to find the latest products to review, but reader Taikog suggested we go old school once in awhile. Following his suggestion, we thought about doing a review on Brylcreem, but decided to review the Jiffy Pop Stove Top Butter Popcorn instead, because it looked less oily.

The instructions for this popcorn were simple. Preheat the stove for 3 or 4 minutes at medium high heat. Then place the pan on the burner. When it starts to sizzle, continuously shake the pan in a back and forth motion until the foil is fully expanded. In about 2 to 5 minutes, the popcorn should be ready.

I was just about to start popping the popcorn, when I realized that I can’t shake it, unless there’s music playing or someone is putting money in the elastic band of my boxers. Since there weren’t any women around flashing dollar bills, I needed to find a soundtrack for my popcorn shaking.

After spending about 30 minutes looking through my iTunes library, I found the perfect song I could shake popcorn to. Some of you may have guessed the song already, Outkast’s “Hey Ya!”

With my popcorn shaking song on, I got down to making some popcorn. I put the pan on the preheated burner and waited for the sizzle. When it came, I began to shake the pan and my groove thang. A few moments later, the popcorn kernels started exploding and the foil started expanding. This went on for about a minute and then the exploding and expanding suddenly stopped.

Although when it stopped, I kept shaking the pan because Andre 3000’s voice had taken a hold of my soul.

Then about a minute later I began to smell burnt popcorn and I stopped shaking the pan and my ass. I took the pan off of the stove and opened the slightly expanded foil. A cloud of steam and a strong smell of burnt popcorn arose from out of the pan. The bottom of the pan was covered with burnt popped and unpopped kernels.

A few of the popped kernels survived and I ate them. They had a decent buttery taste and a nice crunch.

I don’t know what went wrong, but I have my theories. (1) The stove heat was too high. (2) I am the Grim Reaper of Food and I destroy everything I touch. (3) I picked the wrong song to shake it to.

My money was on the third reason, so I went looking through my iTunes library again and found six possible replacements for the next time I decide to make some stove top popcorn.

1. Metallica’s “One”
2. Aqua’s “Barbie Girl”
3. Britney Spears’ “Toxic”
4. Blur’s “Song 2”
5. Buster Poindexter’s “Hot, Hot, Hot”
6. Black Eyed Peas’ “Hey Mama”

So which of these songs do you think would work best? Or do you have another song in mind?

Item: Jiffy Pop Stove Top Butter Popcorn
Purchase Price: $1.50
Rating: 2 out of 10
Pros: Decent buttery taste. Nice crunch. Buster Poindexter reference.
Cons: I followed the instructions, but the popcorn still got burnt. “Hey Ya!” might not be a good song to shake stove top popcorn with, but it is a good song to shake it to when there are women flashing dollar bills. I have a Britney Spears song.