The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Carl’s Jr. Guacamole Bacon Burger

When I looked at the Carl’s Jr. Guacamole Bacon Burger, which consisted of a beef patty, guacamole, two strips of bacon, melted pepper jack cheese, red onions, tomatoes, and lettuce on a toasted sesame seed bun, it reminded of three things: my hardening arteries, the movie Ghostbusters, and Christmas.

This avocado lovin’ burger reminded me of the movie Ghostbusters because the guacamole is the same color as the ectoplasmic goo that made up the green gluttonous ghost, Slimer, and just like the ectoplasmic goo, the guacamole is messy and ends up everywhere. The Guacamole Bacon Burger also reminded me of Christmas because of its excessive use of red and green ingredients. It was like walking through the Christmas decoration aisles at Wal-Mart. The red strips of bacon were like red strips of ribbon, the leaves of green lettuce were like leaves of green wrapping paper, the red onions were like the red tinsel wrapped around the a Christmas tree, and the green guacamole was like the puke from Santa’s overworked, sweatshop elves.

Although the burger did remind me that there are only a little more than ten weeks until Christmas and it used an excessive amount of holiday colors that made me wish I was colorblind, it was one of the tastiest burgers I’ve had in a while and if the Grinch tries to steal it from me, not even Dr. Seuss will be able to save his ass from the beating I would give him. The burger was quite tasty, thanks to the guacamole, which wasn’t too avocado-y and didn’t overpower the other ingredients, like Kim Kardashian’s ass does to other riders in an elevator. The green topping also surprisingly brought a little heat to the burger. The strips of bacon were decent-sized and had a smoky flavor that complemented well with everything else.

The only major thing I didn’t like about the Carl’s Jr. Guacamole Bacon Burger was that there were too many cold ingredients in it. The patty was well cooked, but the vegetables and the guacamole brought down the overall temperature of the burger, which was kind of weird when you’re expecting a hot sandwich.

Beyond its taste, what I also liked about this burger was Carl’s Jr.’s willingness to add ingredients that other fast food places wouldn’t have the balls…I mean, cojones to use. They’ve added a pineapple to their Teriyaki Burger and I think they were the first ones to add jalapeno peppers to a burger.

I just hope the next burger they try to make will remind me of Halloween, perhaps orange tomatoes, black mushrooms, and purple eggplant?

Get on it, Carl’s Jr!

(Nutrition Facts – 1 burger – 850 calories, 55 g of fat, 16 g of saturated fat, 105 mg of cholesterol, 1430 mg of sodium, 55 g of carbohydrates, 10 g sugar, 4 g dietary fiber, and 32 g of protein)

Item: Carl’s Jr. Guacamole Bacon Burger
Price: $3.59
Size: Single
Purchased at: Carl’s Jr.
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Really tasty. Guacamole added a nice flavor and some heat to the burger. Guacamole didn’t overpower the other ingredients. Carl’s Jr. having the balls to use ingredients that other won’t. The movie Ghostbusters.
Cons: Too many cold ingredients brought down overall temperature of burger. Guacamole makes the burger extremely messy. Excessive use of Christmas colors. Great source of sodium. Great source of saturated fat.

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