I could call many things in life delightful, but then I would sound like a snooty woman who comes from old money and has never worked a damn day in her life A crisp autumn breeze is delightful. A properly poured pint of Guinness is delightful. The chance for a certain baseball team to bring home the bacon two years in a row is delightful. But to call a granola bar delightful, thatâ€™s just pushing it.
I feel bad for granola bars, even though they’re the whores of the snack food world. All they want is to be loved and enjoyed; instead they’re used as substitutes for what we really want. People, including myself, generally have an “Eh, I guess Iâ€™ll have a granola bar to tie me over until I have REAL food” attitude when it comes to the slutty snack that prostitutes its way from childrenâ€™s lunch bags to the desk drawers of CEOs who had to abandon their three martini lunches because of the economy.
The Quaker True Delights Dark Chocolate Raspberry Almond Granola Bar is trying to be the Pretty Woman of the snack bar world. Dressed in its sexy black wrapper (a.k.a little black dress), it appears to be better than your run-of-the-mill granola bar that you can find slutting it up everywhere. My mother (and every “Very Special Episode” 1980â€™s sitcom) told me that the inside of a person, or in this case, a granola bar is what matters.
Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the inside is just like any other granola bar. However, I wouldnâ€™t totally dismiss it. This classy beauty wasnâ€™t like her co-worker, Quaker Chewy bar, because she didnâ€™t skimp on the good stuff like chocolate and nuts. In fact, she was chock full of nice semi-sweet dark chocolate chunks and crunchy almonds. Of course, the raspberry flavoring wasnâ€™t that strong, but if youâ€™ve read any of my reviews that include pseudo raspberry flavoring, Iâ€™m always bitching about that.
The bar was tasty, but you can find heartier granola bars, like the Nature Valley Trail Mix for less cash. Paying $3.49 for a box of five bars that each weigh a slim 1.2 ounces isnâ€™t worth it. Itâ€™s pretty bad when the picture on the box says “enlarged illustration” and even that isnâ€™t big. (Good thing they donâ€™t show “enlarged illustrations” on bottles of Viagra)
These petite bars are good, but one wonâ€™t even satisfy mediocre hunger pains that always hit at around three in the afternoon. So whatâ€™s the point of getting a high class
hooker granola bar thatâ€™s more expensive when it wonâ€™t even curb your need for something to keep your stomach from growling to the beat of the next annoying Black Eyed Peas single?
Whereâ€™s the delight in that?
(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – 140 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 2% vitamin C and 4% iron.)
Item: Quaker True Delights Dark Chocolate Raspberry Almond Granola Bars
Size: Box of 5
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Black wrapper adds a classy touch to a whorey snack. Dark chocolate tastes good. A lot of almonds. Adds more variety to the granola bar category. The Phillies.
Cons: Having to settle for a granola bar. Small size. Lack of a strong raspberry taste. Using the word “delight” inappropriately.
11 thoughts to “REVIEW: Quaker True Delights Dark Chocolate Raspberry Almond Granola Bars”
I held back on reviewing any Quaker True Delights because I felt I was not classy enough to do so.
Stick to Kashi bars for a lower calorie granola to hold you over. It is the flower child/hippi of the granola bar. 🙂
Raspberry my most hated of all berrys
THAT IS ALL
Me like Vegemite!
Deep down inside each and every granola bar longs to feel like a diva… yet as you have pointed out they are the low class whores of snackdom
The price of granola bars are ridiculous. we wait for grocery store sales so you get 5 boxes for 10$.
As for a raspberry bar have you tried Quakers chewy fruit crumble? They have apple and i think a the 2nd one is raspberry. You *might* just like it. Maybe.
“I feel bad for granola bars, even though theyâ€™re the whores of the snack food world. All they want is to be loved and enjoyed; instead theyâ€™re used as substitutes for what we really want.”
I couldn’t have said it any better! Threre were numerous times I ate a granola bar, even though I know all that sugar is rotting my teeth and all that saturated fat is hardening my arteries.
I’m not a big fan of these either. If I’m gonna eat a bar I try to stick to protein bars.
I like how the price is higher and they removed one bar from the box…smooth move Quaker.
I’ve seen these but never bought them because the box looks like a scam.
All these bars taste the same…I’m surprised you even bothered.
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