The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Lean Cuisine Market Creations Chicken Alfredo

While most frozen food entrees that involve steaming, like the Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers line, come with a bowl to help steam the dish in the microwave, the new Lean Cuisine Market Creations Chicken Alfredo is prepared differently.

Instead, they decided to chuck the bowl and, apparently, go the microwaveable frozen food feed bag steamer route, which you just throw into the microwave for five minutes. I guess a feed bag makes sense since we’re all just horses trotting through the great plains of life and need sustenance as we mosey along. Although I do wish Lean Cuisine included a strap so that I could attach the bag to my face.

Of course, I could be “domesticated” or “follow instructions” and pour the contents of the bag onto a plate and use a fork to eat it. But it’s just easier to place my mouth at the opening and let the Lean Cuisine goodness slide towards my face, like I’m trying to get the last potato chip crumbs. Sure, the hot white meat chicken, penne pasta, broccoli, yellow carrots, orange carrots and Alfredo sauce in the bag burned my face, but to me the first-degree burns were worth it because I didn’t have to wash dishes.

Yes, I am one lazy mofo.

But I won’t have to worry about those burns anymore because the Lean Cuisine Market Creations Chicken Alfredo is something I would not eat again.

While there were ample amounts of chicken and vegetables; the noodles came out just right; the vegetables didn’t turn out soggy; and it, surprisingly, looks really good in the photo above, especially the vegetables, its flavor wasn’t equally as appealing. Its biggest downfall was the chicken, which seemed like it was marinated in Mexican spices, making it taste like someone snuck in some Taco Bell into my Lean Cuisine.

The sauce could’ve been the lifesaver here and masked the flavor of the chicken, but since it’s a Lean Cuisine meal the sauce can’t be rich or too flavorful, unless it wants to be called Tubby Cuisine or Hungry-Man. But even if the Alfredo sauce is kind of bland, having a good amount of it in the bag might’ve helped, but there’s barely enough to coat everything.

I guess you could say they’re being “lean” with the Alfredo sauce. Or you could also say they’re being “lazy” with the Alfredo sauce, just as lazy as me.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 package – 280 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 680 milligrams of sodium, 970 milligrams of potassium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, 20 grams of protein, 70% vitamin A, 20% calcium, 30% vitamin C and 10% iron.)

Item: Lean Cuisine Market Creations Chicken Alfredo
Price: $4.99
Size: 10.5 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Looks good, especially the vegetables. Lots of chicken, vegetables and penne pasta. No preservatives. Filling. Low in saturated fat. Contains poly- and monounsaturated fats. Can eat it straight from the bag, if you’re lazy or don’t follow instructions.
Cons: Chicken tasted weird, like it was marinated in Mexican spices. Barely enough Alfredo sauce to coat ingredients. Burns from eating it straight out of the bag. Being a lazy mofo. No strap included to attach bag to my face.

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