REVIEW: White Castle Castle Bites

White Castle Castle Bites Bag

What are they?

They are the love children from a White Castle cheeseburger slider and a pizza roll. And there are lots of kids in this 40-ounce party pack, which is also available in a hamburger variety.

How are they?

These are delicious, but with a big asterisk. And that asterisk is because these really don’t taste like White Castle sliders, neither the ones you get from the restaurant nor the frozen ones from the grocery store (and yes, I can confirm there is a difference). Part of the White Castle experience, especially if you get them fresh off the grill, is the pillowy softness of the bun that soaks up that distinctive beefy-onion flavor. That’s what’s missing here, along with the signature White Castle smell. If not for the packaging, I’m not sure I would have associated these with White Castle. But if you are just looking for cheeseburger-flavored pizza rolls, these really hit the spot. The outer shell has a nice crunch, and the filling provides a satisfying cheeseburger flavor with just a hint of onion. My only disappointment was the lack of White Castle smell and taste.

White Castle Castle Bites Plate

White Castle Castle Bites Split

Anyone who’s made pizza rolls knows there is about a 15-second difference between perfect crispness and a crime scene with filling splattered everywhere. These are no different, as evidenced by the pictures, except at least the oozing cheese makes it look less like something from a horror movie. And keep in mind, I’m the guy who turns on the oven light constantly to check on my food’s progress (and also the guy who always ignored my parent’s warnings and pressed my face against the microwave window), so I was watching these with fervent dedication, and I still got the dreaded explosive results.

White Castle Castle Bites Pan

Anything else you need to know?

White Castle Castle Bites Nutrition

It’s generally not a great idea to read the ingredients on Frankenstein-type food products like this, and that’s the case here. The back of the bag raises more questions than it answers, such as, what the heck is “natural grilled hamburger type flavor”? I didn’t expect this to only contain chopped up White Castle sliders, but the long list of ingredients (including chicken fat) probably does explain why these don’t taste how I thought they would. Also among my questions is how water is the first ingredient in these (as a refresher, ingredients are listed in descending weight order).


White Castle Castle Bites Back Bag

If you don’t go in expecting the signature White Castle flavor and instead are just looking for a tasty and unhealthy snack, then you should enjoy these. And if you don’t want to make the significant financial commitment on a 40-ounce bag, an 18-ounce version is also available.

Purchased Price: $11.49
Size: 40 oz. party pack
Purchased at: Kroger
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (6 bites) 190 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 660 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo Froot Loops Waffles (2022)

Kellogg s Eggo Froot Loops Waffles Box

What is it?

We’ve known for some time that Froot Loops is discontent with their lot in life. Dissatisfied for years now with their small corner on the grocery store shelf, nestled between the Honey Smacks and the Apple Jacks, they’ve been throwing themselves around like some rummed-up pirate on shore leave.

They were gummies for a spell after they were Pop-Tarts; they’ve been made into bars and straws. They were Easter Peeps once, and who could forget the time they became donuts from Carl’s Jr.? Well, now they’ve made their way into Eggo waffles. (Well, again. The first time was in 2003. Given the shared parentage, maybe it’s surprising it’s not a standard offering.)

How is it?

Kellogg s Eggo Froot Loops Waffles Plated

It’s exactly as you imagine: mostly run-of-the-mill Eggo waffles, but every so often, you get an aggressively sweet bit of Froot Loops cereal. There was no discernible textural difference between the regular waffle and the cereal piece, but I could see them, and I sure as hell could taste them.

I tried them plain and then in a universally standard waffle format — i.e. with butter and syrup — and it is worth noting that, while the Froot Loops taste is powerful on the naked waffle, when gussied up, it loses 95% of its impact. With butter and syrup, you’re just eating a normal waffle that gets weirdly chemical-tasting at the end.

Kellogg s Eggo Froot Loops Waffles Closeup

Anything else you need to know?

These weren’t bad; I don’t want anyone to think that. I’m just not sure under what circumstance they get eaten. Most people eat waffles with toppings, yeah? And if you’re topping these things, there’s no point in having them be Froot Loops waffles. It’s a real Catch Twenty-Toucan Sam. (Oh wow, I am so sorry about that. It just slipped out.)


Froot Loops should work on their self-esteem and realize that, as the world’s preeminent artificially fruit-flavored, ring-shaped cereal, they are good enough, they make us proud, and all we want is for them to be happy with who they are.

Purchased Price: $2.69
Size: 12.3 oz/10 waffles
Purchased at: Sun Fresh
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 waffles) 190 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: DiGiorno Fully Stuffed Crust Pizza

DiGiorno Double Pepperoni Fully Stuffed Crust Pizza Box

Convenience, accessibility, price… there are so many reasons to love frozen pizza, and lots of people might also consider a crispy, cracker-like crust to be one of them. But buyer beware, that is not what you’ll get with DiGiorno’s new Fully Stuffed Crust.

DiGiorno Double Pepperoni Fully Stuffed Crust Pizza Frozen

I bought the Double Pepperoni variety, which, truthfully, I had cynically assumed was just a marketing gimmick to make run-of-the-mill pepperoni sound twice as exciting. I was pleased to realize that the name does, in fact, refer to two distinct types of pepperoni, “sliced” (the usual rounds) and “diced” (little chunks that reminded me of the julienne-cut Canadian bacon from Papa John’s Triple Bacon Pizza). If you prefer your pizza with an additional exciting adjective, you can also opt for Ultimate Three Meat.

DiGiorno Double Pepperoni Fully Stuffed Crust Pizza Cooked

I don’t think I need to dwell too long on the standard elements here: the cheese on top is mild and chewy, the pepperoni is greasy and aggressively meaty-tasting (I found the diced bits to be notably tender too, almost melt-in-your-mouth), the sparingly applied red sauce is flavorful if a bit watery, and the crust is yeasty and satisfying. My particular pie actually reminded me of Pizza Hut’s The Edge, with the toppings extending right to the end of every slice. I’m not sure if that’s a core part of the Fully Stuffed Crust brand or if I just got lucky, but either way, I’m happy! I sometimes find eating a dry, hard pizza crust a bit of a chore, but this was its own pleasure, reminiscent of focaccia bread, thick and luxurious.

Speaking of thick and luxurious, let’s get to the star of the show!

DiGiorno Double Pepperoni Fully Stuffed Crust Pizza Cheese

Unlike traditional stuffed crust, which merely crams cheese along the pie’s paltry perimeter, this ambitious new entry into the DiGiorno canon boasts, according to its box, “A FULL LAYER of cheese” on the inside. After some careful peeling (the pizza lent itself oddly well to being separated into layers), I can confirm that this is no joke! The inner cheese really does span the entire pizza, meting out an extra mound of mozzarella in every mouthful.

DiGiorno Double Pepperoni Fully Stuffed Crust Pizza Bite

This is where my warning about the lack of crispiness comes in: often frozen pizzas are so brittle they snap if you look at them wrong, but the bonus layer of cheese makes this whole shebang seriously smooth and supple. I’d even go as far as to call it “fluffy.” That being said, the fluffiness is buried under an avalanche of sauce, toppings, and surprisingly soft crust, all jostling for your taste buds’ attention, so “extra cheesiness” does not necessarily jump out as part of the flavor profile. During my aforementioned peeling experiment, I was able to isolate the inner cheese and enjoy its buttery, slightly sharp taste — and the very comforting joyfulness that stuffed crust inevitably induces in me — but it was still a little bland.

If you particularly appreciate a silky texture or are just a passionate pizza patron, I would fully recommend this Fully Stuffed Crust. If your primary concern is taste, the extra cheese layer might not be stuffed with enough bang for your buck.

Purchased Price: $10.49
Size: 31.2 oz
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/6 pizza) 370 calories, 19 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 950 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of sugar, and 19 grams of protein.

REVIEW: DiGiorno Cinnamon Roll Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza

DiGiorno Cinnamon Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza Box

DiGiorno’s pizza is my go-to dinner on nights when “Mommy is too busy to cook,” or sometimes, “Mommy has gone to a dark place.” So I’m quite familiar with the DiGiorno product line, specifically the DiGiorno croissant crust.

Now, at the request of no one, DiGiorno has decided that it needs to break into the breakfast market and create a sweet pizza. This is hardly unprecedented: Pizza Hut sells an Ultimate Chocolate Cookie that could claim the title of “Dessert Pizza,” plus you can find recipes for them on various food blogs. But this is an indulgent breakfast pizza! Does this really go with your morning coffee, or is it just weird?

DiGiorno Cinnamon Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza Frozen

It’s an attractive, if unusual, dish. The light dough-colored balls taste vaguely like cookie dough, and the dark swirls are pockets of cinnamon goodness. The rest of the pizza topping is made up of what I will call “sugary gunk,” a highly technical term used by professionals.

DiGiorno Cinnamon Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza Cooked

Okay, so I felt lazy leaving it at that and looked up what the sugary gunk is. According to DiGiorno’s website, the topping includes cinnamon cream sauce, cream cheese crumbles, and churro pieces. The cream cheese crumbles are likely those little bland pieces, in which case this component is really missing the tang of cheese. The churro pieces did not make much of an impression.

DiGiorno Cinnamon Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza Slice

The pizza really does taste a lot like a cinnamon roll, though, and the fact that it’s a flat pizza means a much higher sugary-stuff-to-bread ratio, making it arguably better than most cinnamon rolls. I get this information from my husband, who hits the Cinnabon at every rest area on the highway, so he knows his stuff.

DiGiorno Cinnamon Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza Crust

What doesn’t quite work here is the DiGiorno croissant crust. I would be happily eating my faux-cinnamon roll when I would get some of the crust in my mouth and suddenly be reminded of a sausage-laden Supreme Pizza, and it led to a weird feeling of disconnection with the product. The sweetness is strong enough that it’s not that noticeable for most of the pizza, but when you get to the end crust, it doesn’t seem to go with what you’re eating.

Now did I have this problem because the crust genuinely clashes with the flavor profile, or is it just because I have such strong associations with the DiGiorno crust? I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure the crust is something DiGiorno can improve, at the very least. Another crust-related problem was the fact that the croissant crust did not fully expand in the oven; however, this may be because of how we cooked it. After nearly destroying my oven with one of these pizzas (to the point where my Dad had to come by with professional-grade tools to clean it), I wasn’t taking any more risks, and I put this thing on a tray in the oven, as God intended. So you probably will get a crispier, flakier crust if you follow the directions and put the pizza straight onto the rack. That is, assuming the pizza doesn’t bend while cooking, pour its tasty filling onto the bottom of the oven, and rapidly become carbonized sludge. If you want to attempt it, you’re braver than me.

When it’s not destroying kitchen equipment, the Croissant Cinnamon Roll Pizza is a largely successful breakfast outing for DiGiorno, and I recommend giving it a try. Just keep in mind there’s definitely room for improvement here.

Purchased Price: $9.99
Size: 21.5 oz
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/4 pizza) 460 calories, 20 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 550 milligrams of sodium, 60 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar (15 grams of added sugar), and 6 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Eggo Grab & Go Liege-Style Waffles

Kellogg s Eggo Grab  Go Liege style Waffles Box

Kellogg’s has introduced new Eggo Grab & Go Liège-style waffles in Strawberry and Buttery Maple flavors. Inspired by the popular Belgian street food and promising even faster preparation than the classic toaster waffle, will these earn a place in the breakfast rotation?

Liège waffles are the most popular waffle variant in the waffle-loving nation of Belgium. They incorporate pearl sugar and use a bread-like dough resulting in a dense, chewy texture. I found all this out from Wikipedia because, like most Americans, my experience the breakfast staple begins at Eggo and ends at a diner’s Belgian waffle. That is all I know, despite the fact one of my grandparents was Belgian, and I assume he had waffle secrets that he took to his grave.

Kellogg s Eggo Grab  Go Liege style Waffles Wrappers

They come individually wrapped and require only thawing to be ready. I rip open a Buttery Maple and take a bite. Condensation from the plastic packaging has caused some soggy spots, but nothing substantial. The golden-brown exterior and maple flavor combine to create a satisfying toasted flavor. Even the Strawberry version tastes mostly of golden brown toastiness. It’s not bad, but don’t bite into it expecting to be transported to a summer strawberry field by its fresh strawberry essence.

Kellogg s Eggo Grab  Go Liege style Waffles Exterior

The texture fails to impress when unheated. It’s stiff and dry. The pearl sugar adds interest, but overall, the texture reminds me of a mediocre pastry at a motel continental breakfast. It drastically improves when microwaved for 20 seconds. It softens enough that you can pull it apart to see the strands of bready dough, like the brioche that an authentic Liège waffle is supposed to be, according to Wikipedia. (Curse you, secretive Belgian grandpa!).

Kellogg s Eggo Grab  Go Liege style Waffles Interior

Here’s a hot breakfast take that will have my Belgian grandpa spinning in his grave: waffles are the Ron Weasley of the pancake, French toast, and waffle trio. They’re not bad, but they’re the weakest option of the three. Eggos are good, but no one is leaping out of bed in anticipation for one. A diner’s Belgian waffle is fine, but they’re all crisp exterior with no substance. Maybe that’s why I appreciate these Liège-style waffles when heated. The bready texture makes for a substantial treat even without additions.

For the record, Harry is pancakes and Hermione is French toast. I will not be taking questions.

Kellogg’s Eggo Grab & Go Liège-style waffles are a worthy addition to the Eggo lineup. They’re fine thawed, but do yourself a favor and heat them. Or maybe really treat yourself and add some powdered sugar, berries, whipped cream, or whatever secret family waffle topping I don’t know about.

Purchased Price: $5.19 each
Size: 7.76 oz (220g)/4 pack
Purchased at: Woodman’s Markets
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Buttery Maple), 6 out of 10 (Strawberry)
Nutrition Facts: (1 waffle) 230 calories, 10 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar including 13 grams added sugar, and 5 gram of protein.