REVIEW: DiGiorno Cinnamon Roll Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza

DiGiorno Cinnamon Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza Box

DiGiorno’s pizza is my go-to dinner on nights when “Mommy is too busy to cook,” or sometimes, “Mommy has gone to a dark place.” So I’m quite familiar with the DiGiorno product line, specifically the DiGiorno croissant crust.

Now, at the request of no one, DiGiorno has decided that it needs to break into the breakfast market and create a sweet pizza. This is hardly unprecedented: Pizza Hut sells an Ultimate Chocolate Cookie that could claim the title of “Dessert Pizza,” plus you can find recipes for them on various food blogs. But this is an indulgent breakfast pizza! Does this really go with your morning coffee, or is it just weird?

DiGiorno Cinnamon Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza Frozen

It’s an attractive, if unusual, dish. The light dough-colored balls taste vaguely like cookie dough, and the dark swirls are pockets of cinnamon goodness. The rest of the pizza topping is made up of what I will call “sugary gunk,” a highly technical term used by professionals.

DiGiorno Cinnamon Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza Cooked

Okay, so I felt lazy leaving it at that and looked up what the sugary gunk is. According to DiGiorno’s website, the topping includes cinnamon cream sauce, cream cheese crumbles, and churro pieces. The cream cheese crumbles are likely those little bland pieces, in which case this component is really missing the tang of cheese. The churro pieces did not make much of an impression.

DiGiorno Cinnamon Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza Slice

The pizza really does taste a lot like a cinnamon roll, though, and the fact that it’s a flat pizza means a much higher sugary-stuff-to-bread ratio, making it arguably better than most cinnamon rolls. I get this information from my husband, who hits the Cinnabon at every rest area on the highway, so he knows his stuff.

DiGiorno Cinnamon Breakfast Croissant Crust Pizza Crust

What doesn’t quite work here is the DiGiorno croissant crust. I would be happily eating my faux-cinnamon roll when I would get some of the crust in my mouth and suddenly be reminded of a sausage-laden Supreme Pizza, and it led to a weird feeling of disconnection with the product. The sweetness is strong enough that it’s not that noticeable for most of the pizza, but when you get to the end crust, it doesn’t seem to go with what you’re eating.

Now did I have this problem because the crust genuinely clashes with the flavor profile, or is it just because I have such strong associations with the DiGiorno crust? I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure the crust is something DiGiorno can improve, at the very least. Another crust-related problem was the fact that the croissant crust did not fully expand in the oven; however, this may be because of how we cooked it. After nearly destroying my oven with one of these pizzas (to the point where my Dad had to come by with professional-grade tools to clean it), I wasn’t taking any more risks, and I put this thing on a tray in the oven, as God intended. So you probably will get a crispier, flakier crust if you follow the directions and put the pizza straight onto the rack. That is, assuming the pizza doesn’t bend while cooking, pour its tasty filling onto the bottom of the oven, and rapidly become carbonized sludge. If you want to attempt it, you’re braver than me.

When it’s not destroying kitchen equipment, the Croissant Cinnamon Roll Pizza is a largely successful breakfast outing for DiGiorno, and I recommend giving it a try. Just keep in mind there’s definitely room for improvement here.

Purchased Price: $9.99
Size: 21.5 oz
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/4 pizza) 460 calories, 20 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 550 milligrams of sodium, 60 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar (15 grams of added sugar), and 6 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Caramel Fudge Cheesecake Blizzard

Dairy Queen Caramel Fudge Cheesecake Blizzard Spoon

Cheesecake is a relatively new presence in my life. That may seem strange, but you have to understand: for most of my life, I was firmly on Team Chocolate. If I had the opportunity to get dessert at a restaurant, I got the chocolate cake. If I was getting ice cream, I got chocolate ice cream with hot fudge, and so on. It’s really only over the past year or so that I had the important revelation that that chocolate is not always the best choice in every scenario. Stuck in a diner recently, eating a bone-dry chocolate layer cake, I realized that the moist cheesecake would have been a much better choice.

Granted, my first forays into ordering cheesecake since then invariably took the form of chocolate cheesecake, but that was all part of the process: Baby steps, baby steps.

All that said, I don’t go out for dinner that often, so I don’t have too many opportunities to explore my new interest in tangy dairy delights. Enter Dairy Queen’s Caramel Fudge Cheesecake Blizzard, an opportunity to enjoy cheesecake in a different format without having to break the bank on a trip to The Cheesecake Factory. Unfortunately, this Blizzard doesn’t sate the cheesecake craving as well as I would have liked.

Dairy Queen Caramel Fudge Cheesecake Blizzard Top

First, the ice cream has little chocolate bits in it, giving the Blizzard a cookies-and-cream flavor to start with. I really liked this, and had to keep stopping myself from just inhaling the thing in a few gargantuan bites. Once I slowed down enough to breathe, I realized that the Blizzard had two other components: little fudge squares filled with caramel and tiny cheesecake wedges. The fudge squares were prominent, while the cheesecake pieces were rather rare. DQ definitely could have been more generous here.

Dairy Queen Caramel Fudge Cheesecake Blizzard Fudge

It was satisfying to get one of the fudge squares in my mouth and dissolve the fudge coating to get to that unctuous, slightly salty caramel inside. Unfortunately, the same was not true of the cheesecake: the wedges (or little balls, as they sometimes were) started out bland and finished with a fairly weak cheesecake aftertaste. I don’t know if the flavor was too mild or if it was just hard to discern the cheesecake flavor in the middle of tons of chocolate-packed ice cream, but it wasn’t robust.

Dairy Queen Caramel Fudge Cheesecake Blizzard Cheesecake

However, the real problem was not with any of the mix-ins but with the blend overall. Try as I might, I couldn’t get this Blizzard to feel like a coherent dessert. There was the fudge-and-caramel component, then there were the little blobs of cheesecake, and the two didn’t seem to have anything to do with one another. The flavors just didn’t seem to marry. Maybe it’s too much to expect the ingredients to all sing harmoniously in a Blizzard, which is all about “Let’s take ice cream and dump random things into it!”, but I couldn’t get past it.

I enjoyed the treat, but Dairy Queen just hasn’t fully conquered cheesecake yet, and if I’m going to take time out from my busy chocolate schedule to get something else, that something else had better be stellar.

Purchased Price: $4.89
Size: Small
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 660 calories, 27 grams of fat, 17 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 420 milligrams of sodium, 97 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 78 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein.

Click here to read our previous Dairy Queen Blizzard reviews.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen S’mores Shake

Dairy Queen S mores Shake Cup

What is Dairy Queen’s S’mores Shake?

DQ’s latest shake mimics the flavors of the classic campfire treat. It has vanilla soft serve blended with marshmallow topping, chocolate flakes, and graham cracker bits.

How is it?

The first thing I tried to figure out was what the little grainy pieces were. They were so tiny that I couldn’t discern much flavor. Were they chocolate bits or graham cracker bits? When I had drunk more of the shake and could see beyond the whipped topping, it was clear that the really tiny bits were the graham and the larger flakes were chocolate.

Dairy Queen S mores Shake Top

Flavor-wise, it’s a giant marshmallow-flavored kick in the face. There’s no subtlety here, not that I wanted any. The graham bits and chocolate flakes added enough texture to create a nice mouthfeel, but the marshmallow flavor of the product still overwhelmed the graham and chocolate notes. Strangely as I got deeper into the shake, the chocolate pieces were bigger, and it added more chocolatey-ness to the experience.

This is a thick shake, so thick that I sometimes had trouble sucking it up with my straw. This isn’t Wendy’s Frosty “Give up on straws, you need a spoon here” territory, but it’s getting there.

For some reason, this shake didn’t strike me as being as addictive as the shakes from Five Guys, currently my go-to for milkshakes. It’s good, but it just doesn’t have that same “OMG I have to shovel this in my face immediately!” quality. What’s the secret? Perhaps the quality of the base dairy product? Clearly, I need to do more research on this topic and drink many, many more shakes — for science.

Dairy Queen S mores Shake Straw

I should note that the shake is very sweet, but let’s be honest: I’m a person who reviews milkshakes from Dairy Queen. If “too sweet” were ever an issue, I probably would not be in the milkshake-review game.

Anything else you need to know?

Dairy Queen’s website tells us that “One sip and you’re sure to be left wanting s’more,” so you can be satisfied that no opportunity to make that old-as-the-hills pun was spared. It’s not a lie though; I finished my whole shake and I still kind of want s’more. Having any more at this point would probably make me sick, but I still want it.

Conclusion:

Dairy Queen S mores Shake Angle

The S’mores shake is a very respectable attempt to turn the gooey, classic summer snack into a drinkable delight. It’s a little one-note, but fortunately it’s a tasty note.

Purchased Price: $4.79
Size: 8 oz (small)
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 640 calories, 32 grams of fat, 21 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 77 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 64 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Boar’s Head Apple Pie Dessert Hummus

Boar s Head Apple Pie Dessert Hummus Tub

What is Boar’s Head Apple Pie Dessert Hummus?

For some reason, and I don’t know why this happened, someone at Boar’s Head decided that apple pie and hummus belonged together. Weirdly, they were right.

How is it?

Boar s Head Apple Pie Dessert Hummus Top

This hummus does its job of mimicking apple pie a little too well. I was expecting a vague apple flavor and tons of sugary sweetness, but it’s more complex than that. The flavor actually tastes like the syrup-soaked pieces of piecrust that you get in the bottom of a dish of any halfway decent pie, also known as “the best part.” I was expecting them to go heavy on the apple, and instead they went all-in on the crust. The usual chickpea flavor of hummus was barely even discernable.

This left me in a weird kind of dessert purgatory, because even though the flavor evoked pie, the grainy hummus texture did not. My mouth kept looking for the tactile feeling of a crisp and buttery pie shell, and obviously I didn’t get it. After polishing off a full serving of the hummus, I was ready to run out to the store and buy myself a real apple pie…which I could then cover in this apple pie hummus, forming a kind of pie-ception. Yeah, that’s definitely going to happen.

Boar s Head Apple Pie Dessert Hummus Cookie

I tried to mitigate the problem by adding more texture. After eating the hummus alone, I spread some of it on one of the Stella D’Oro Margherite cookies I always keep on hand. It was enjoyable, but the texture of the cookie wasn’t enough like pie to solve the problem. The prospect of trying to match the hummus with different kinds of cookies is appealing, however.

Anything else you need to know?

Boar’s Head also puts out a dark chocolate hummus, which is probably the better flavor because chocolate comes in all kinds of different textures already. I had the chocolate variety about a year ago and was impressed with just how chocolatey it was, so I really shouldn’t have been surprised at how much this hummus tasted like its namesake.

Conclusion:

If you’re curious about dessert hummus and/or are looking for some kind of sweet spread, both this and the chocolate variety are solid buys that will satisfy a sugar craving. But if you want pie – and I mean if there’s even a snowball’s chance in hell that you might ever, at some conceivable point, want an apple pie – buy the apple pie. As for me, I’m going to buy a giant Dutch apple pie tomorrow and send Boar’s Head an invoice.

Purchased Price: $5.99
Size: 8 oz
Purchased at: King Kullen
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 Tbsp) 60 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 9 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 5 grams of sugar (5 grams of added sugar), and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal

Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal Box

What is Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal?

After the Strawberry Cheerios and Banana Nut Cheerios of yesteryear, both have joined forces. There are also heart-shaped pieces, which makes me wonder if they’re trying to get a jump on Valentine’s Day. Bold move, General Mills.

How is it?

To me, Honey Nut Cheerios might be the perfect cereal. There’s a kind of spectrum that runs from bran flakes on the healthy end to Cocoa Puffs on the other, and Honey Nut Cheerios artfully balances right in the center like a world-class gymnast. The taste is just sweet enough that you feel like you’re getting a bit of a treat. Now I don’t know if Honey Nut Cheerios would really be considered healthy by nutritionists (who would probably recommend a breakfast of wild-caught salmon instead) but darnit, it FEELS healthy.

So the question here is whether or not these are as good as HNC. Short answer: no.

Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal Bowl

Strawberry Banana Cheerios have two types of pieces, pink and plain: they’re also in the shape of either hearts or traditional Cheerios “Os.” The pink are strawberry flavored, while the plain are, in theory, banana-flavored. While the pinks provided that standard artificial strawberry flavor you’ve encountered elsewhere, the plains had an aftertaste of popcorn, which is weird.

When I had the cereal in a bowl, I was able to taste a little bit of banana flavor. The pieces kept their integrity while I was eating and didn’t turn to mush, but considering how fast I can scarf down cereal, that’s a low bar to clear.

Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal Real Banana

I put a banana down next to my cereal knowing that next time, this cereal was going to get banana-fied, whether it wants to or not. This may be a crime.

Anything else you need to know?

Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal Back

From the back of the box I have learned that, sadly, a car powered by strawberry juice did not in fact drive across the state of Texas. Disappointing.

Conclusion:

Strawberry Banana Cheerios are inoffensive, but they are lacking in flavor. That’s okay though, because BYOB (Bring Your Own Banana).

Purchased Price: $4.88
Size: 14.9 oz box
Purchased at: Stop & Shop
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup) 140 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 11 grams total sugar, and 3 grams of protein.