Here are some quick reviews of new-ish store brand products we’re too lazy to write full reviews for:
Item: Lightlife Amaz’n Asian Sesame Chik’n’
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 9.7 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Not amaz’n, but appetiz’n. Awesome source of fiber and protein. Low fat. Lots of chik’n pieces. Contains a bunch of vitamins and minerals. Non-GMO soy used allows me to brag about eating non-GMO soy.
Cons: Pricey, unless you’re really good at shoplifting. Could use more noodles. A bit salty. Overriding my computer’s autocorrection of “Amaz’n” and “Chik’n”
Item: Lightlife Bella Portabella Tuscan Chik’n’
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 10 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty sauce. Lots of veggie chik’n pieces, spinach, and red peppers. Low fat. Awesome source of fiber. Despite being called Lightlife, it’s filling. Good source of protein. Made with non-GMO soy. Meat-free, if you’re into meat free stuff.
Cons: Pricey, if not bought on sale. My spellcheck not liking the word “chik’n.” Not a lot of mushrooms and asparagus. Might be hard to find.
Item: Ball Park Bakery Wrapped Brats
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 2 brats
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Decently seasoned bratwursts. Bun reminded me of the exterior of a corndog. Steaming pouches to warm them up are kind of cool. Not Bratz dolls.
Cons: Not even close to being the best brats I’ve had. Sauerkraut would probably have a hard time staying on. Looks European phallic. Only 2 per box. Bratwurst aren’t as thick as other brats I’ve seen. Wisconsinites will shun them.
Item: Lean Cuisine Southwest-Style Salad Additions
Purchased Price: $3.42
Size: 7 1/8 ounces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Filling. Easy to prepare, if you like dumping things on lettuce. Had a decent spicy kick. Good souce of fiber and protein. Awesome source of vitamin C. Tortilla strips were surprisingly crunchy. Eating salad.
Cons: Chipotle ranch dressing could’ve had more flavor. Lean Cuisine not discovering a way to flash freeze lettuce. Chicken didn’t have much flavor. Dressing took longer to thaw than heating the chicken in the microwave.