I. Hate. You. Limited Edition Even Thinner Wheat Thins.
While I’ve made the New Year’s resolution to lose weight for the umpteenth year, and will fail to stick to that resolution for the umpteenth year, you’re skinnier than the ALREADY SKINNY Wheat Thins. Yeah, I’m jealous…and jiggling a little as I stomp in anger, because again I never follow through with my annual New Year’s resolution.
I’m not bitter, but this new snack sounds like someone lost a bet. It’s as if two Nabisco executives were playing Wheat Thins football and one says to the other, “If I make this from across the boardroom, I can make whatever product I want no matter how cockamamy it is.” Then the other one said, “Deal.” And so here we are with thinner Wheat Thins.
So how much slimmer are these?
Since I don’t have an iPhone app that can measure them for me, I had to find an ancient instrument called a ruler. Regular Wheat Thins looked to be three millimeters, while these new ones appeared to be one-third skinnier. Suck it, iPhone! No, really. Suck it in if you want to be as skinny as these crackers.
A serving size of the thin version and thinner version have the same amount of calories, fat, carbs, fiber, sugar, and protein, so binge eating either box while binge watching Jessica Jones on Netflix, binge sitting on my couch, and binge putting up my legs on an ottoman will have the same nutritional result. Although the svelte ones do have 30 milligrams less sodium.
Chain eating both varieties to figure out any difference in flavor made me blow past any serving sizes. You’d think if this newer variety was made out of the exact same ingredients as regular Wheat Thins, they would taste exactly like regular Wheat Thins. But, surprisingly, that’s not the case.
The nuttiness in the now chubby regular Wheat Thins is a bit more noticeable than in these slender ones. Although Nabisco isn’t promoting these as “diet,” their slightly lighter flavor is diet-like. But with that said, I think folks would only notice the difference if they were eating the two varieties one after another.
The cracker’s thinness did cause an issue with me. While stuffing my Wheat Thins hole with these skinnier crackers, I somehow sort of stabbed my upper palate…twice. No blood, but it did hurt a little. That thinness also makes these more crispy than crunchy, which is kind of nice because eating a lot of regular Wheat Thins tends to give my jaw a workout.
Now with all of that said, I don’t really hate these, but I think they’re silly. Tasty, but silly. Making Wheat Thins slimmer didn’t make them better, more snackable, or more appealing. It seems like Nabisco is trying to capitalize on the success of Oreo Thins by trying to figure out what other flagship brands they can turn thin. So I guess we’ll be seeing Chip Ahoy Thins soon.
(Nutrition Facts – 22 pieces – 140 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 90 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)
Item: Limited Edition Even Thinner Wheat Thins
Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 8.5 oz. box
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Tasty. I don’t hate them. More crispy than crunchy so it doesn’t give my jaw a workout. Binge watching Netflix.
Cons: Silly idea. Slimmer doesn’t equal to them being better, more stackable, or more appealing. Stabbing my upper palate with them. Makes me feel bad about breaking my New Year’s resolution already.