Author: Marvo

REVIEW: Hot Sauce Pringles (Original, Chipotle & Roasted Garlic)

Marvo 10 Comments

Pringles Hot Sauce (Original, Roasted Garlic and Chipotle

When it comes to hot spicy foods, I don’t think I ask for much.

When I put it into my mouth, the capsaicin should cause my face to excessively ooze out four different bodily fluids at the same time: sweat to help cool my face, tears of pain, saliva to help cool my mouth, and snot being cleared from my nasal cavity. It should also make my tongue feel like kittens used it as a scratch post.

And then after it’s been digested and the heat is just a memory, it should make the opposite of my digestive system feel like it’s being cleaned by a bidet that shoots molten lava. The heat should make my rear yell out for Preparation H to help soothe it.

Unfortunately, the limited time only line of Hot Sauce Pringles doesn’t attain the level of heat that makes you feel like you’ve been sucking on Lucifer’s teat or a bottle of Sriracha sauce.

Like the number of hot sauces on a table at a decent Mexican restaurant, the Walmart-exclusive Hot Sauce Pringles come in three varieties: Original, Chipotle, and Roasted Garlic. Since new Pringles flavors are rare, I was extremely excited to find these flavors, so much so that I wanted to celebrate their arrival by stringing them up and then bashing them with a bat until their potato crisp goodness fell to the ground. But since Pringles tend to be fragile, I didn’t raise my bat to any of them.

Original Hot Sauce Pringles had a vinegary smell that reminded me of Ketchup Pringles. This flavor was my favorite of the three, probably because it’s the best tasting and spiciest. Its flavor was a combination of red peppers and vinegar. Its heat doesn’t show itself until a good 7-10 seconds after chewing, which I thought was a little strange.

Chipotle Hot Sauce Pringles was the least spiciest of the three, which I thought was unusual since chipotle is rated somewhere in the lower middle of the Scoville scale. But then again, chipotle isn’t listed in the ingredients. Its flavor starts off tasting somewhat like black pepper and then ending with a smoky flavor. The black pepper flavor was a slight turnoff for me, which also made it my least favorite of the three.

Before trying all three Hot Sauce Pringles flavors, I thought the Roasted Garlic Hot Sauce Pringles would be the least spiciest, but they were slightly less spicy than the Original Hot Sauce Pringles. As for how they taste, there’s definitely a garlic flavor to them and I enjoyed them, but as I ate through the can, I couldn’t help think the flavoring tasted like the powder in a McCormick chili mix packet.

Overall, the line of Hot Sauce Pringles is decent, but I think it would’ve been better if they teamed up with Tabasco to create better tasting flavors. As for spiciness, Pringles is definitely capable of creating a spicy hot flavor, but these limited time only Hot Sauce Pringles failed to impress both ends of my digestive system.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce/approx. 16 crisps – Original – 140 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 1 gram of protein. Chipotle – 150 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 190 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 1 gram of protein. Roasted Garlic – 150 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 200 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Hot Sauce Pringles (Original, Chipotle, & Roasted Garlic)
Price: $1.50 each
Size: 6.38 ounces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Original)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Chipotle)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Roasted Garlic)
Pros: Original Hot Sauce Pringles was tasty. Roasted Garlic Hot Sauce was good. Trying new Pringles flavors. Comes in SuperStack cans. Sriracha sauce.
Cons: Their spiciness failed to impress both ends of my digestive system. Only available at Walmart. Chipotle Hot Sauce’s black pepper flavor turned me off and was the least spiciest. Oozing four different bodily fluids from my face.

NEWS: McDonald’s Testing English Pub Burger, But Pickled Eggs Not Included

Marvo 18 Comments

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McDonald’s is testing another variation of their Angus Third Pounder and they’re calling it the English Pub Burger.

I was surprised by this burger because I didn’t know English pubs were known for their burgers. I thought they were known for fish and chips, bangers and mash, shepherd’s pies, pickled eggs, and ploughman’s lunches.

The English Pub Burger is made up of a 1/3 pound Angus beef patty, hickory-smoked bacon, white Cheddar cheese, American cheese, grilled onions, steak sauce, and Dijon mustard in between an artisan roll. Grub Grade reader James from Illinois tried the burger and was impressed.

Right now, they appear to only be available at select locations in Illinois and there’s no word about a Snack Wrap version. I hope it makes it to all McDonald’s restaurants because it sounds damn tasty. However, you know what would go great with a McDonald’s English Pub Burger? A McDonald’s Shamrock Guinness Milkshake. I hope they start testing that soon.

Sources: Burger Business and Grub Grade

REVIEW: SoBe Pure Water (Watermelon, Black Cherry & Golden Pineapple)

Marvo 11 Comments

Sobe Pure Water (Watermelon, Black Cherry & Golden PIneapple)

According to my computer’s built-in dictionary, the word “pure” is defined as:

1. Not mixed or adulterated with any other substance or material.
2. Without any extraneous and unnecessary elements.

If we were to go by those definitions, SoBe Pure Water isn’t at all pure, since it’s not only made with water, but also erythritol, citric acid, natural flavor, calcium lactate, potassium citrate, sea salt, purified stevia extract, tartaric acid, and lactic acid. With that many ingredients, it’s as if SoBe’s benchmark for pure was a rock band groupie.

Perhaps there’s a third definition in the unabridged Oxford English Dictionary that goes something like this:

3. A BS term marketing folks use for products that have no calories, no colors, no preservatives, and no artificial sweeteners.

SoBe Pure comes in three flavors: Watermelon, Golden Pineapple, and Black Cherry. And they’re available exclusively at Target. If you don’t have a Target nearby, you’re S.O.L., which I believe the unabridged Oxford English Dictionary defines as: Settling for Other Liquids.

Each SoBe Pure is enhanced with “a drop of flavor.” But if my math is correct, which it always isn’t because I’m not a stereotypical Asian, a drop shouldn’t be able to create a level of flavor that these SoBe Pure waters have. Their flavors aren’t as strong as SoBe Lifewater, but the difference between the two varieties of flavored SoBe water isn’t much.

SoBe Pure Watermelon is one of those flavors I’m not sure if I truly enjoy. It doesn’t taste like watermelon, but then again, everything “watermelon-flavored” doesn’t taste like watermelon. However, it tastes as if I was making out with a girl who just finished sucking on a Watermelon Jolly Rancher.

SoBe Pure Golden Pineapple is my favorite of the three flavors. Although its aroma is a bit flowery and artificial, it really tastes like someone grabbed a chunk of fresh pineapple, squeezed it over a 20-ounce bottle of water to extract a couple of drops of pineapple juice, recapped the water bottle, and then shook it to mix.

SoBe Pure Black Cherry smells decent, but it tastes vile. Imagine trying to get mo’ ‘tussin by putting some water in a bottle of cough syrup, shaking it, and then drinking it. That’s what SoBe Pure Black Cherry tastes like. I’ve gone through a fourth of the bottle and I won’t finish the rest because it’s quite disgusting.

Overall, SoBe Pure may be “natural with zero calories” and it may have electrolytes, but it doesn’t electrify me. If you’re looking for a lightly flavored water with no calories, no colors, no preservatives, and no artificial sweeteners that isn’t available everywhere, might I recommend Hint Water. They’re definitely a lot more natural tasting than SoBe Pure.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 30 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Other SoBe Pure reviews:
Thirsty Dudes: Watermelon & Black Cherry
Drink What

Item: SoBe Pure Water (Watermelon, Black Cherry & Golden PIneapple)
Price: $1.00 (on sale)
Size: 20 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Watermelon)
Rating: 2 out of 10 (Black Cherry)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Golden Pineapple)
Pros: No calories, no colors, no preservatives, and no artificial sweeteners. Has electrolytes. Golden Pineapple was good. Watermelon was decent.
Cons: Black Cherry was vile. Target exclusive. Watermelon doesn’t taste like real watermelons. Scent of Golden Pineapple was flowery and artificial. Not really pure. Carrying an unabridged Oxford English Dictionary.

NEWS: Make Your Upper Palate Raw With Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch

Marvo 9 Comments

Despite its possible mouth shredding abilities, I’m a fan of Cap’n Crunch. There’s something about that sweetened golden cereal that makes my tongue set sail for Yum Island. I’m also a fan of chocolate, despite its waist expanding abilities. So I’m excited about the two of them combining to form the new Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch.

It’s not the first time the Cap’n has sailed the ocean blue and came back with a chocolatey treasure. There was Cap’n Crunch’s Choco Donuts, a peanut butter and chocolate Cap’n Crunch, and two different cereals called Cap’n Crunch’s Choco Crunch, one with regular yellow Cap’n Crunch with chocolate puff cereal and another with chocolate flavored Cap’n Crunch, which is what this new cereal looks like.

So Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch is pretty much a renamed Cap’n Crunch’s Choco Crunch. It’s as if Cap’n Crunch sailed to India, brought back fine silk, went back to India, came back from India, and when asked what new items he’s returned with, he shows everyone silk.

The naturally and artificially flavored sweetened corn and oat cereal is made with real cocoa. A 3/4 cup serving has 110 calories, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 125 milligrams of sodium, and 11 grams of sugar. It’s available in 14-ounce boxes.

FLAVORS OF THE MONTH: July 2011

Marvo 2 Comments

E3 2011 - Captain America's shield from Captain America: the First Avenger (Sega)

Here are this month’s limited time offers.

When summer rolls around you can expect summer blockbuster movies. And, with those summer movies you can expect companies to release tie-ins, like Baskin Robbins’ Flavor of the Month, Super Soldier Swirl Ice Cream, which promotes the upcoming Captain America: The First Avenger movie. Just like Captain America’s shield and uniform, the ice cream comes in red, white, and blue. It consists of vanilla ice cream swirled with blue candy chips and a cherry flavored ribbon. A 4-ounce scoop has 260 calories, 13 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 31 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein.

Slurpee is also releasing a movie tie-in flavor — Alienade. The flavor, which sounds like a sports drink for aliens, is a promotional tie-in for the sci-fi flick Cowboys & Aliens. Alienade is a combination of strawberry, raspberry, and lemonade. An 8-ounce serving has 65 calories, 0 grams of fat, 5 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, and 17 grams of sugar.

Cold Stone Creamery’s Gold Cone Collection Flavor for July — Strawberry Basil — makes me wonder if the folks at Cold Stone Creamery are smoking something way better than what the flavor gurus at Ben & Jerry’s are smoking. Basically, Ben & Jerry’s got out Ben & Jerry-ed by Cold Stone Creamery because combining fruit with herbs in an ice cream is quite creative. If you do decided to take the plunge and grab yourself some Strawberry Basil ice cream, the largest serving size has 770 calories, 43 grams of fat, 28 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 92 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 80 grams of sugar, 9 grams of protein, 25% vitamin A, 440% vitamin C, and 40% calcium.

Triple Chocoholic Blizzard is July’s Blizzard of the Month at Dairy Queen. It’s made using the trifecta of truffles, choco chunks, and fudge blended with vanilla soft serve. A small serving has 710 calories, 32 grams of fat, 18 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 97 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 77 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein. But if you’re a true chocoholic, a large size has 1400 calories, 68 grams of fat, 40 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 183 grams of carbohydrates, 10 grams of fiber, 146 grams of sugar, and 25 grams of protein.

Finally, Subway’s July $5 Featured Footlong is the Italian B.M.T. (Biggest, Meatiest, Tastiest). The sandwich is made up of Genoa salami, pepperoni, Black Forest Ham, and cheese. Personally, any sandwich that needs to tell people it’s big and meaty probably has self-esteem issues. A footlong has 900 caloires, 40 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 110 milligrams of cholesterol, 3000 milligrams of sodium, 93 grams of carbohydrates, 11 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, 44 grams of protein, 20% vitamin A, 40% vitamin C, 80% calcium, and 30% iron.