NEWS: Smurf Your Smurf With The Limited Edition The Smurfs Cereal

Smurfs and Washington Monument

What the smurf?

How can the new Post Limited Edition The Smurfs Cereal not have any smurfin’ Smurf Berries? First, Optimus Prime gets a mouth in the Transformers movies. Then, no H.I.S.S. Tanks in the G.I. Joe. movie. It’s as if companies want to ruin my childhood.

The sweetened rice cereal is made up of regular boring tan cereal with Smurf blue-colored cereal. What’s so smurfy about that? You know what would’ve been totally smurfy? Post bringing back Smurf Berry Crunch. I would’ve totally smurfed Smurf Berry Crunch.

The Post Limited Edition The Smurfs Cereal comes in two different boxes. One with Papa Smurf and Smurfette drawn like the 1980s cartoon that would make Peyo proud and another with a computer generated Smurfette and another Smurf. I would totally not Smurf CGI Smurfette.

The cereal is available now and comes in 11-ounce boxes.

Source: Cereal Bits

NEWS: Make Your Upper Palate Raw With Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch

Despite its possible mouth shredding abilities, I’m a fan of Cap’n Crunch. There’s something about that sweetened golden cereal that makes my tongue set sail for Yum Island. I’m also a fan of chocolate, despite its waist expanding abilities. So I’m excited about the two of them combining to form the new Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch.

It’s not the first time the Cap’n has sailed the ocean blue and came back with a chocolatey treasure. There was Cap’n Crunch’s Choco Donuts, a peanut butter and chocolate Cap’n Crunch, and two different cereals called Cap’n Crunch’s Choco Crunch, one with regular yellow Cap’n Crunch with chocolate puff cereal and another with chocolate flavored Cap’n Crunch, which is what this new cereal looks like.

So Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch is pretty much a renamed Cap’n Crunch’s Choco Crunch. It’s as if Cap’n Crunch sailed to India, brought back fine silk, went back to India, came back from India, and when asked what new items he’s returned with, he shows everyone silk.

The naturally and artificially flavored sweetened corn and oat cereal is made with real cocoa. A 3/4 cup serving has 110 calories, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 125 milligrams of sodium, and 11 grams of sugar. It’s available in 14-ounce boxes.

NEWS: New SoBe Pure Water Is As Pure As Teenage Disney Actors Before They Turn Eighteen

Update: Click here to read our SoBe Pure review

I didn’t know electrolytes could have flavor. I thought it just helped rehydrate thirsty people and sell an ocean’s worth of Gatorade. But it appears it does because the label on the new SoBe Pure water says so: “Water + A drop of flavor + Electrolytes for taste.”

SoBe Pure water comes in three flavors: Watermelon, Golden Pineapple, and Black Cherry. All three flavors have no calories, no colors, no preservatives, and no artificial sweeteners. With those statements, you’d think SoBe Pure’s ingredients list would be simple, or pure, if you will.

And it is simple, if you have a chemistry degree. All three flavors contain: water, erythritol, citric acid, natural flavor, calcium lactate, potassium citrate, sea salt, purified stevia extract, tartaric acid, and lactic acid.

An 8-ounce serving of SoBe Pure has 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 30 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein. They’re available in 20-ounce bottles for a limited time only at Target.

NEWS: Get Ready To Show Fake Enthusiasm When Color Changing Jello Blows Your Kid’s Mind

When I was a kid, it was awesome whenever I flicked a Bic disposable lighter and got a flame to appear. I would wave a finger multiple times through the orange flame to feel the warmth and pain it provided. When I got bored with that, I’d light newspapers in a Weber grill, waving my hand multiple times through the flames. When I tired of that, I’d set fire to a cardboard box and dance around it as if it were an offering to the Chinese god of fire, Zhu Rong. Today, however, those simple actions no longer excite me.

I bring up my past pyromania because Jell-O’s new Mixchief line of color changing pudding and gelatin may seem cool to children now, but in the future they’ll look back and realize how lame it was, much like how I think pouring lighter fluid on a newspaper fire is lame now. The line comes in two varieties Jell-O Mixchief Color Changing Vanilla Pudding and Jell-O Mixchief Color Changing Grape Gelatin.

The color changing happens while stirring the powdered mixes with the instructed liquid. The vanilla pudding turns green and the grape gelatin turns red. How boring is that? Wouldn’t it have been better if the two changed colors while stored in the refrigerator to set? It goes in one color and it comes out a different color. The way it is now, it’s as impressive as watching the water turn blue after dropping a 2000 Flushes in your toilet’s tank and then flushing.

Along with the color changing desserts, Jello-O also released Mixchief Make Your Own…Add Soda Gelatin, which is just unflavored gelatin that calls for 12 ounces of your desired soda instead of water. Yup, you can make Pepsi or Coke flavored gelatin. Or if you can get your hands on the Limited Edition Mountain Dew Pitch Black, you can make Jell-O that tastes like that.

NEWS: Pringles Combines Dried Potato Flakes and Hot Sauce To Create A Limited Edition Flavor

Hot Sauce #2

Update: Click here to read our Hot Sauce Pringles review

New Pringles flavors make me giddy.

Whenever I discover a new flavor, I pick two cans up, start shaking them like they were maracas, and do a little cha-cha. After I do my little dance, I put the two cans back on the shelf because the Pringles inside are probably in pieces thanks to my violent rhythmic shaking and then I purchase an unshaken can.

Well, it looks like I’ll be doing my Pringles can dance and horrifying unsuspecting shoppers if I can get my hands on the limited edition Pringles Original Hot Sauce. I learned about the new flavor via a review by our friends over at Review Spew.

Unlike the Tapatio-flavored chips Frito-Lay introduced a few months ago, these hot sauce flavored potato crisps aren’t attached to a brand name hot sauce. They aren’t even attached to an obscure hot sauce with a silly name, like Satan’s Blood Hot Sauce, Smack My Ass and Call Me Sally … The Slap Heard Around the World Hot Sauce, or Sphincter Shrinker Hot Sauce.

Yes, those are real hot sauce names.

A serving of Pringles Original Hot Sauce has 140 calories and 9 grams of fat, and they can be found at Walmart.

Update: According the commenter Echo710 below, the Hot Sauce Pringles come in three varieties: Original, Chipotle, and Garlic. Also, the line might be a Walmart exclusive.

Source: Review Spew