REVIEW: Little Debbie Pumpkin Spice Rolls

Little Debbie Pumpkin Spice Rolls

Little Debbie is a girl who’s got dresses for every season, every holiday, and every occasion. I can imagine her right now examining her extensive wardrobe of flavors. “No, a Boston Creme Roll won’t do for June, nor will a Strawberry Shortcake Roll quite capture September. I must put on something distinctly autumnal!”

Of course, something “distinctively autumnal” means changing out the vanilla cake with “pumpkin spice.” But is Little Debbie’s beauty only skin deep? Are all the dresses and flavors just scaffolds covering a stale, cloyingly sweet snack cake whose best days are long behind her?

Little Debbie Pumpkin Spice Rolls 2

Clearly, further investigation was in order. Each individually wrapped roll is easy on the eyes, their orange hue are attractive this time of year. A drizzle of icing and voluptuous cream filling practically spills out of the cake, and despite a $1.99 price tag and and no mention of pumpkin on its ingredient list, I fell hard.

But after trying them, I realized the rolls are all style and no substance. A pretty face but no personality. There’s pumpkin-flavored, pumpkin spice-flavored, and then there’s these; orange with specks of brown suggesting cinnamon and nutmeg which just aren’t there. Through many pumpkin seasons, I’ve learned few pumpkin products can ever live up to the platonic idea of a pumpkin pie. But as for the Little Debbie Pumpkin Spice Rolls, this brings pumpkin spice to a new low.

That said, I can’t turn away from Little Debbie. I can’t just shoot her a text and be like, “Hey, that’s cool, but yea, no.” To tell you the truth, I kind of liked them, albeit in a secret rendezvous, tell absolutely nobody about this sort of way.

The cake is at first dense, chewy, and hyper sweet, a common theme the icing carries on with a fake vanilla flavor. Yet the filling, normally a mix of confectioner’s sugar and cream cheese in traditional pumpkin or pumpkin spice rolls, is where it’s at.

Little Debbie Pumpkin Spice Rolls 3

If I didn’t know better, I would have said Little Debbie robbed a Hostess plant, because the filling tastes exactly like what’s in a Twinkie. It’s lighter than you’d expect, but ooey-gooey just the same, degenerating into a cloying and sticky cream that has just enough artificial palm oil richness to make you sort of put it in the realm of Oreo filling.

Little Debbie: I’m on to your game. And frankly, all these bells and whistles of the seasons, the changing of the dresses, they work and they don’t work. Your Pumpkin Spice Rolls offer absolutely nothing seasonal, and although the Twinkie filling and super sweet cake may be enough to make schmucks like me enjoy them, they won’t be confused for an actual pumpkin spice roll.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 roll – 260 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 1.0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 270 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Little Debbie Pumpkin Spice Rolls
Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 6 pack
Purchased at: United Supermarkets
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Twinkie-inspired cream filling. Super-sweet and ooey-gooey. Moist and dense cake. Giving into childhood cravings. Perhaps the first Little Debbie product I’ve found without partially hydrogenated oil.
Cons: Doesn’t taste like pumpkin or pumpkin spice. Very one note in sweetness. Not nearly as good as the pumpkin roll your mother made, or the one you bought at the Walmart bakery. Incredibly messy to eat.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Doritos Loaded (Nacho Cheese and Jalapeño & Cheese)

Doritos Loaded (Nacho Cheese and Jalapeno & Cheese)

They’re available in two flavors and two sizes — 7.5 and 15 ounces. I’d suggest the smaller one in case they’re gross. (Spotted by Kevin at Walmart.)

If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you’ve tried the product, share your thoughts about it in the comments.

Also, if you’re wondering if we’ve already covered something, search our Flickr photos or use the Google Search box on the right (or below if you’re on a mobile device) to find out.

FAST FOOD NEWS: Domino’s Marbled Cookie Brownie

Domino s Marbled Cookie Brownie

Hey! A post about Domino’s Pizza!

Man, it’s been awhile.

Although, it’s a bit disappointing that their latest product, the Marbled Cookie Brownie, isn’t a new pizza.

The warm, gooey dessert combines chocolate chunk cookies with fudge brownies. A nine-piece order is available for $5.99 as part of Domino’s Mix and Match Deal or $6.49 if you wish to only partake in the dessert.

According to Domino’s nutritional PDF, which I think is incorrect (you’ll see why in a moment), a piece has 1730 calories, 83 grams of fat, 33 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 200 milligrams of cholesterol, 1100 milligrams of sodium, 228 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 164 grams of sugar, 19 grams of protein. I’m somewhat confident that this is the nutritional info for all nine pieces, but that’s not how it was labeled on the PDF.

If you’ve tried it, let us know what you think of it in the comments.

(Image via Domino’s website)

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 9/15/2015

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Krusteaz Pumpkin Spice with Latte Glaze Quick Bread Mix

Krusteaz Pumpkin Spice with Latte Glaze Quick Bread Mix

Krusteaz Cinnamon Fire Premium Baking Mix

Krusteaz Cinnamon Fire Premium Baking Mix

That’s a lot of pumpkin spice bread. (Spotted by Jacob S at Sam’s Club.)

Trader Joe's Toffee Chips

Trader Joe’s Toffee Chips

The Trader Joe’s website says these are new, but doesn’t it seem like something TJ’s has always had. (Spotted by Sylvia at Trader Joe’s.)

Trader Joe's Organic Sriracha Ranch Dressing

Trader Joe’s Organic Sriracha Ranch Dressing

Fast food chains would call this “creamy sriracha sauce.” (Spotted by Sylvia at Trader Joe’s.)

Duncan Hines Limited Edition Amaretto Decadent Brownie Mix

Duncan Hines Limited Edition Amaretto Decadent Brownie Mix

Duncan Hines Limited Edition Irish Cream Decadent Brownie Mix

Duncan Hines Limited Edition Irish Cream Decadent Brownie Mix

Please don’t tell me it’s just the topping that makes them different. (Spotted by Erika at Walmart.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

Also, if you’re wondering if we’ve already covered something, search our Flickr photos or use the Google Search box on the right (or below if you’re on a mobile device) to find out.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Nestle Toll House Hot Cocoa Cookies

Nestle Toll House Hot Cocoa Cookies

If I put one of these cookies in between two graham crackers, how s’mores-y will it taste? (Spotted by Chris at Walmart.)

If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you’ve tried the product, share your thoughts about it in the comments.

Also, if you’re wondering if we’ve already covered something, search our Flickr photos or use the Google Search box on the right (or below if you’re on a mobile device) to find out.