NEWS: If You Can’t Decide Between Geno’s and Pat’s, Snack On Legendary Philly Cheesesteak Ruffles While You Think About It

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 8 Comments

Authentic Cheesesteak!

I’ve let you down, readers of The Impulsive Buy.

Despite following food news like a meteorologist follows clouds, I wasn’t able to tell you about the Legendary Philly Cheesesteak Ruffles in a timely manner.  They’ve been out for a few weeks now, but I only learned about them an hour ago.

If I was able to let you know about them sooner, many of you could be stuffing your faces and getting your crunch on with these Philly Cheesesteak-flavored chips right now. There are also some of you out there who are munching down on these chips right now and thinking to yourself that this is old news because you’re eating through your second or third bag.

You’d think, as someone who regularly reads websites called Processed Food News, Drug Store News, and Convenience Store News, I would’ve learned about the Legendary Philly Cheesesteak Ruffles sooner.  But all I can say is that I’ve failed you all and that this particular Ruffles is a Walmart exclusive.

Source: Fatguyfoodblog

REVIEW: IHOP Chicken & Waffles

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IHOP Chicken & Waffles

As someone who has never had chicken and waffles from one of the many establishments noted for their chicken and waffles dish, you may think I’m not the best person to review IHOP’s Chicken & Waffles.

However, I’ve watched enough shows on the Food Network and Travel Channel to know what makes a good plate of chicken and waffles. And, as someone who once combined a Cinnabon cinnamon roll with a flame-broiled Burger King Whopper patty to create a monstrosity called the CinnaWhopper, I feel I’m qualified to judge foods that combine sweet and savory.

Traditionally, chicken and waffles include fried chicken breasts and waffles topped with butter and syrup. IHOP’s bastardized version takes away the fried chicken breasts, replaces it with four boneless chicken tenders; includes four wedges of Belgian waffles with a container of butter; and adds a little something something called honey mustard dipping sauce.

Now, the honey mustard sauce is a strange addition, and it’s the more bastardizing part of the dish. I don’t think any of the chicken and waffles places featured on television shows hosted by a chubby guy with bleached spiked hair or a chubby guy with a Brooklyn accent include any dipping sauces with the dish. Traditionally, the dish is enjoyed by combining a bite of the fried chicken with a bite of syrup and waffles, hence the sweet and savory. The honey mustard sauce would throw a curve into that.

I can only come up with two reasons why IHOP included the dipping sauce: 1) It gives people an out to those who try the dish and don’t care for the sweet and savory combination. 2) Their chicken tenders suck, and not even the addition of waffles and syrup could make them remotely tastier.

Well, it’s probably a combination of the two. The breaded and lightly seasoned chicken tenders look and taste like something I could get from Banquet in the frozen food aisle. The chicken tender’s exterior was crispy, but interior ended up being a little dry.

Before I could taste the sweet and savory combination of chicken and waffles, I had to choose from IHOP’s array of syrups. I chose to be old fashioned and use their Old Fashioned syrup, which is probably made in a non-old fashioned way. I’m not sure exactly how it’s made, but it probably involves large machines that people who do make syrup the old fashioned way wish they had.

Based on what I’ve seen on television about the chicken and waffles dish, IHOP’s Chicken & Waffles probably doesn’t come close to being as delicious as what one can get at a dining establishment, like Gladys Knight and Ron Winans’ Chicken & Waffles. However, as the bastardization of the amalgamation of chicken tender, waffle, and syrup, I thought IHOP’s Chicken & Waffles could’ve been much better.

The size of the chicken tenders and waffles wedges are equal enough that you can have a bite of chicken with a bite of waffles and not have to worry about either of them running out before the other does. The flavor of the chicken with the waffles and syrup does create an adequate sweet and savory flavor, but I wish the chicken’s seasoning was a little stronger. Or, perhaps, it lacks the greasiness that regular fried chicken has, because you know what they say about grease, “Grease makes us obese, but the right release of grease makes taste increase.” I also had high hopes for the waffles, after all, IHOP knows breakfast. However, they had a not-so-crispy exterior, a fluffy interior, and they were a little bland. Thank goodness for their Old Fashioned syrup.

Since I have a curious soul, and I occasionally enjoy messing with my taste buds, I decided to combine the chicken, waffles, syrup, and honey mustard sauce into a culinary clusterfuck. The result? It definitely doesn’t make it better. It also definitely doesn’t make me gag, but the flavor is a bit odd.

IHOP’s Chicken & Waffles can probably match the caloric value of a real plate of chicken and waffles from somewhere like Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles with its 1,110 calories. However, it could never equal Roscoe’s tastiness. I know. It’s a bastardized version of the dish, but I really wish it wasn’t, because it makes real chicken and waffles look bad.

(Nutrition Facts – Not available on website, but we do know it contains 1,110 calories.)

Item: IHOP Chicken & Waffles
Price: $8.99
Size: N/A
Purchased at: IHOP
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Adequate sweet and savory flavor. Allows people around the country to try chicken and waffles, even though it’s a bastardized version of it. Crispy exterior on the chicken tenders. The right release of grease makes taste increase. Old Fashioned syrup. Includes a lot of butter.
Cons: A bastardized version of chicken and waffles. Makes real chicken and waffles look bad. Chicken tenders too lightly seasoned and a little dry. 1,110 calories. Waffles were a little bland. The addition of honey mustard sauce was a unusual. The CinnaWhopper. Not having eaten a real plate of chicken and waffles.

NEWS: Quiznos New Chicken Bacon Dipper Lets You Dip Your Sandwich into Cheese Sauce; This Is Not An April Fools’ Day Joke

/ / Fast Food News / 5 Comments

Cheese Fondue zurich

There’s an arms race going on amongst fast food restaurants to create the new Weird Food That the Internet Will Gasp at in Horror. Quiznos has decided to throw its hat into the ring with their new Chicken Bacon Dipper, which is a sub sandwich that comes with a side of cheese sauce. For dipping.

There’s already a lot going on with this sandwich. It contains all-white-meat chicken, smoky bacon, mild chipotle mayo and chipotle jack bread. Right there it already has two kinds of meat and a double chipotle punch. Also, I find the idea of chipotle jack bread intriguing.

Quiznos isn’t done yet, though. You also get a side of cheese sauce, which contains tomatoes, diced green chiles and traditional Mexican spices. This is for you to dunk your sandwich into before you stuff it in your face.

That’s a lot of bold flavors coming together, but it seems like they would all play nice with each other.

What do you think? Is this overindulgent and disgusting, or tasty and ingenious? You can find out for $5.19 for a small sub, which seems kind of steep to me, but hey, that cheese sauce doesn’t come cheap!

There is no nutritional information available at this time, but I’m sure it’s a doozy.

Sources: Shopping Blog and Quiznos website

REVIEW: Denny’s Maple Bacon Sundae

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Denny's Maple Bacon Sundae

I’ve already written about my love for bacon a couple times on this site, so I’ve had to do more research and solicit more suggestions than usual to get new material for this review. (Friends’ proposed angles included Bacon the card game, Kevin Bacon, bacon-related April Fool’s jokes, and anti-Semitism. I’ve had such bad writer’s block that only one of those suggestions was categorically dismissed… and only because that new Kevin Bacon Google TV commercial really freaks me out.) During my extensive research of bacon, I discovered that, apparently, Bacon-mania is over! Evidently, bacon as national obsession is no longer relevant, interesting, or hip.

And to that I say, GREAT! Now that hipsters and the haute cuisine establishment are “over” bacon, maybe bacon need not be a statement of personality any longer and can once again be consumed simply for one’s own enjoyment. The reclamation of bacon by the Everyman has perhaps reached its completion: Denny’s, that most accessible of rest stop diners, recently introduced a new “Baconalia” menu, with bacon un-ironically added to such everyday items as meatloaf and pancakes.

Denny’s Maple Bacon Sundae is probably the most eyebrow-raising dish on the Baconalia menu; our waitress certainly widened her eyes and expressed some skepticism when we ordered it. But as someone who’s always liked to dip his fries in his Frosties (wow, that sounds oddly dirty), I had no doubt that a bacon, maple syrup, and vanilla ice cream combo could absolutely work. Any concoction that hits so many dimensions – sweet and savory, creamy and crispy and gooey, hot and cold – has a lot of potential.

The Maple Bacon Sundae definitely lived up to my expectations. The first few bites were the tastiest, as the diced bacon was still slightly warm and was layered on top of an even coating of maple syrup. The flavor emerged in two distinct waves. First came the “maple crunch,” where the taste of ice cream and maple syrup was texturally supported by the crunchiness of the diced bacon. Then, as the ice cream began melting away in my mouth, the smoky bacon taste finally shined through. I suppose higher-quality bacon would be more flavorful and allow all three tastes to present themselves at once, but I kind of like having the bacon taste just be a smoky afterthought. You could describe the bacon flavor as the post-coital cigarette of the love-making session that is the ice cream/maple syrup. Or rather, I’ll describe it as such, and you can shake your head and pretend I didn’t just write that.

Denny's Maple Bacon Sundae 2

Maple syrup on its own is actually an underrated topping for vanilla ice cream, and I’d say it’s a viable alternative to chocolate syrup or caramel. But after I made it through the top layer of bacon, I was worried I would be stuck with just syrup and ice cream for the rest of the sundae. Just as I went to go scribble this concern into my notebook, BOOM, I found another layer of bacon! Is there a better surprise in life than surprise bacon? If you just compared eating a bacon sundae at Denny’s to having sex, then no, quite clearly there is not.

I do have two relatively small complaints. Much of the maple syrup was poured into the bottom of the sundae glass, leaving it hard to reach without destroying the structural integrity of the ice cream scoops. Since the density of the syrup causes sinking anyway, it would’ve been better to put more syrup on top and let it slowly make its own way down. Also, some of the bacon pieces were too large and threw the toppings-to-ice cream ratio on my spoon all out of whack. But like I said, these are minor issues.

Altogether, I really enjoyed Denny’s Maple Bacon Sundae, and with this coupon, it’s even more affordable. I would definitely encourage you to try the sundae as well as any other dishes off the Baconalia menu that tickle your bacon fancy. Reclaim bacon for yourself! Vive la Bacon!

(Nutrition Facts – 810 calories, 40 grams of fat, 21 grams of saturated fat, 150 milligrams of cholesterol, 460 milligrams of sodium, 97 grams of carbohydrates, 85 grams of sugar, and 16 grams of protein.)

Other Denny’s Maple Bacon Sundae reviews:
Grub Grade

Item: Denny’s Maple Bacon Sundae
Price: $2.99
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: Denny’s
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Sundae hits many dimensions (sweet/savory, creamy/crispy/gooey, warm/cold). Maple syrup goes great on vanilla ice cream. Bacon adds crunchiness and smoky second wave of taste. Surprise layer of bacon. Bacon-mania being “over.” Dipping fries in Frosties. Coupons.
Cons: Too much maple syrup at the bottom of the sundae glass. Some bacon not diced small enough. Squeez Bacon not being a real product. Comparing sundaes to sex.

NEWS: Kraft Jet-Puffed StackerMallows To Make It Easier To Build A S’more Big Mac

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 2 Comments

If I learned anything during my time in the Boy Scouts it’s that camping sucks, latrines smell, mosquitos love my blood, and I’ll probably be killed by a baby deer if I’m ever lost in the wilderness. But not everything I learned in Boy Scouts was negative, I also learned how to make mean s’mores. If there was a s’more making merit badge, I would’ve earned it.

Although, my days of three finger salutes, square knots, and roasting marshmallows over a campfire using a stick are behind me, it’s good to hear s’more technology has advanced with the new Kraft Jet-Puffed StackerMallows, which are flat, thin rectangular marshmallows that can be placed into s’mores like a slice of cheese.

Actually, now that I think about it, perhaps StackerMallows, which comes in 8-ounces packages, aren’t ideal for making s’mores next to the campfire. Regular marshmallows have a cylindrical shape, which makes it easy to poke a stick through, so that it can be toasted over a campfire. On the other hand, the flat, thin shape of the StackerMallows might make that hard to do, unless you earned your sewing merit badge that gave you the skills to thread through things.

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