There are two types of people in this world: people who love artificially flavored banana foodstuffs, and people who are just wrong. Over time, however, I learned to align myself with these banana haters. Their distaste, in the simplest sense, means more for me. More Banana Laffy Taffy. More Banana Runts. If it’s banana-flavored and you don’t want it, I’ll take it.

Therefore, I was very excited to see Little Debbie’s new Banana Puddin’ Creme Pies. Though Debbie doesn’t generally stray much from her usual lineup of tried-and-true offerings, she has been known—on a rare occasion—to get a little frisky in the kitchen. And while I’ve never found these dalliances to be very good, they’re always worth a couple of bucks.

I should have stifled my enthusiasm and saved my money.

Opening the package, I had hope. The artificial banana aroma is strong, but that’s where the magic begins and ends. The outer sandwich layer—meant to mimic the classic banana pudding inclusion of ‘Nilla Wafers—had sufficient vanilla taste, but the cake itself was dry and lifeless, like a slightly mushy rice cake or a moistened piece of cheap toast. It’s been a while since I had Debbie’s Oatmeal Creme Pies, but those cakes—in my mind, at least—are moist and maybe even pleasantly greasy, true little discs of sugared beauty. These spongy cakes, on the other hand, were only slightly better than the thin layer of banana-flavored grit paste in the middle. The artificial banana flavor was present in the paste—I’ll die before I call this a “creme” or “cream” or anything remotely close—but it was beaten into submission by the bland tastes and textures around it.

The idea of a handheld banana pudding creme pie is a good one, and I encourage restaurateurs to try their hands at the Southern-inspired sweet. Debbie, however, should stick to what she does best—Fudge Rounds, Oatmeal Creme Pies, and the other things that’ve been around for oh, half a century or more. She’s never been much of an innovator, and sometimes, there’s no shame in giving up.

Purchased Price: $3.18
Size: 9.57 oz box/8 sandwiches
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cake) 150 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 100 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.