The Impulsive Buy is dedicated to providing quasi-reviews about various consumer goods. Each review goes off on some tangent, but almost always comes back to complete the review. If it didn’t, we wouldn’t be a quasi-review website. Instead we would be some quasi-babbling website. TIB has been named a Yahoo! Site of the Day and has been mentioned in Marie Claire and Buffalo Spree magazine. It was also named one of the Top 100 Undiscovered Websites of 2008 by PC Magazine and one of their Favorite Blogs of 2008.

The Impulsive Buy USUALLY posts five four three two or more reviews a week. About one in every fifty are actually any good.

The staff of The Impulsive Buy are not experts, but they do like to try anything that has any of the following words on the product: new, improved, new and improved, better tasting, reconditioned, less fat, fat-free, best-selling, less calories, reduced for quick sale, limited edition, free toy, 50% off, or now with Olestra.

The website is not affiliated with any company.

F.A.Q.

(Always under construction.)

Who’s Marvo?

That’s a question I ask myself every day in the mirror. So far this is what I know: I’m Marvo, which is short for Marvin. I’m the founder/editor of this fine blog. I have an ability to put together letters, words, sentences, and paragraphs. I also like the color blue, I’m a Mac user, I’m a scorpio, and I have a twin sister. Oh yeah, I’m allergic to shellfish and boy bands. In both cases, I breakout in hives and blackout.

Who’s this Ace guy? And who’s Reprobate, Kayla and Stacey?

You can read more about Ace here, but he is like my Luke Skywalker and I am his Obi-Wan Kenobi. You can read about Reprobate here, Kayla here and Stacey here.

When you say “this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean,” do you mean Hawaii?

Yes, but I won’t tell you which island, because I’m not really looking for another stalker right now.

Your grammar and spelling sucks. How the hell did you earn an English degree?

I needed to graduate, so I decided to major in English and took classes from all the easy, laid back hippie English professors. As for my grammar and spelling, all I have to say about that is, “Hooked on Phonics didn’t work for me.”

Is it true that you once got an angry letter from McDonald’s?

Yes, I once wrote a review in my college’s newspaper about the Big King, Burger King’s short-lived answer to the Big Mac. I said something about both burgers not having any ecoli and about a week later I got a letter from the local McDonald’s office talking about lawsuit, blah, blah, blah. It’s ironic that McDonald’s main spokesperson is a clown, but they have no sense of humor. Also, I’d like to find the person that ratted me out and buy them a Big Mac.

What do you use to create your product photos?

I mostly use the Mac apps Pixelmator Acorn and ImageWell. Sidenote: Seriously, Pixelmator. Version 1.5 is nifty, but I HATE having it default to saving a image in your stupid Pixelmator format. I shall use Acorn until this is corrected.

Are you fat?

I’m slightly overweight and my Body Mass Index (BMI) is slightly high for a guy my size. I go running for three miles almost every other day and because of that I have the legs of an athlete, but the body of a couch potato. In college, I weighed 150 pounds (or 68 kilograms for you metric folks), but now I’m up to 170 pounds. My ideal weight would be around 145 pounds. I’d like to think I’m 170 pounds because it’s mostly muscle, but when I sit down I can feel my gut begin to hang over my waist of my pants. Although, I can see my entire penis when I look down, so I think I’m okay for now.

I think I am in love with you guys. Would you guys like to have a stalker?

It depends. Are you a psychotic wear-our-skin-over-yours kind of stalker? Or are you a voyeur picture shrine stalker? If you would like to build a picture shrine of us, then sure, we would like to have a stalker.

Why do you have to use profanity and be so crass with your reviews?

Cuz we muthafuckin’ can! Beeyotch!