Iâ€™m trying to imagine what my college life would have been like without Jolt Cola and itâ€™s nearly illegal amounts of caffeine. I probably would have ended up with straight Fâ€™s instead of straight Câ€™s.
Without the sleep prevention properties of the caffeine, sugar, and carbs in Jolt Cola, I wouldnâ€™t have made it through those all-night studying sessions and all the times I needed write a 20-page essay the morning it was due.
I liked Jolt Cola so much that I made it the topic of a speech I had to do in my Speech 251 class. Actually, I picked it as a topic because I couldnâ€™t think of a topic the night before I had to give the speech.
Right now I wish I had some Jolt Cola, so I can get the energy to finish this review, but the national convenience store chain down the street doesnâ€™t carry it. Instead, Iâ€™m stuck with this Lo-Carb Monster Energy Drink. It was the only energy drink available at the convenience store. Everything else was sold out, including all the Mountain Dew.
I guess it must be midterm time for the college kids in the neighborhood.
After drinking it and reading the can, it turns out that Lo-Carb Monster Energy Drink not only has almost no carbs, it also has almost no sugar, which I have learned are the two building blocks of forced sleep deprivation. Fortunately, it contained the third building block, caffeine. However, I donâ€™t know if itâ€™s effective without mixing it with significant amounts of carbs and sugar.
Damn, Iâ€™m tired.
Maybe it just takes awhile to kick in.
Maybe I should’ve consumed it intravenously.
Oh, I wonder if thereâ€™s anything in The Impulsive Buy refrigerator I could drink to keep me up.
Mixed Berry 7-Up Plus? Letâ€™s see, no caffeine, two grams of carbs, one gram of sugar, and itâ€™s frickenâ€™ pink.
The only way Mixed Berry 7-Up Plus is going to keep me awake is if I contantly hit myself in the head with the bottle.
Hey look! I actually finished the review. Looks like it worked after all.
Item: Lo-Carb Monster Energy Drink
Purchase Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Big can. Decent tasting.
Cons: Not enough carbs and sugar. I miss Jolt Cola.