“Party like a rockstar,” is the slogan of the Rockstar Energy Drink and that’s exactly what I tried to do last night at the 50th review party.
Prior to the party, I watched the Guns N’ Roses and Def Leppard VH1 Behind the Music specials. I did this so I could find out how rock stars party. Unfortunately, the Impulsive Buy doesn’t have access to cocaine, large amounts of alcohol, groupies, or big hair.
Nonetheless, we had one crazy 50th review party last night.
Between you and me, it was so crazy that I’m glad no one took pictures. I don’t want scandalous pictures floating around, just in case I plan to run for public office.
I’m also glad we found a use for that pole in the middle of The Impulsive Buy laboratory. Okay it wasn’t US who found a good use, it was a busty Asian girl that my friend hired named Candy. Let me tell you, she was very flexible.
It was a long night and I’m glad I tanked that Rockstar Energy Drink, or else I wouldn’t have made it through the evening and I wouldn’t have had enough energy to write this review.
Okay. Okay. None of that happened. There was no party. There was no alcohol. There was no busty Asian girl named Candy. I just wanted to make it seem like the life of a quasi-review blog editor was exciting, like the editors of other blogs (Like this one and this one).
Instead my night was spent watching The Daily Show on Comedy Central and MXC on Spike TV. Then I wrote this review and went to sleep.
Although, I really did drink a Rockstar Energy Drink and I have to say, all of these energy drinks pretty much have the same sweet and tart taste. I guess they come so close because they’ve got almost the same stuff: Taurine, guarana, inositol, and other things that I have trouble pronouncing.
Another thing that bothered me about Rockstar Energy Drink is that there’s something communist-looking about the can. It looks like a Russian graphic designer designed it during the Cold War.
Maybe it’s just me.
Or maybe it’s not just me. On the side of the can, there’s an American flag with the words “American Made†under it. If the can wasn’t communist-looking, would it have that American flag? I don’t think so.
Item: Rockstar Energy Drink
Purchase Price: $2.00 (on sale)
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Lots of caffeine (75 milligrams). Big ass 16 ounce can. American made. USA! USA! USA!
Cons: Tastes much like other energy drinks. Communist-looking can. No busty Asian girl named Candy.