Being the editor of a quasi-product review blog, I feel it is sometimes my duty to be an advocate for consumers. Today, it is one of those times, as I determine whether or not Hefty is lying to us.
According to the packaging for their HandySaks, they have “101 On The Go Uses.â€
How can a product have 101 uses? I can’t think of another product that even comes close to that many uses. For example, a condom. With it you can have protected sex, make water balloons, pull it over your head and try to blow it up, stick it on a doorknob as a practical joke, make condom animals, and that’s about it.
I’m thinking Hefty said “101 uses†because they figured no one in their right mind would actually try to come up with 101 uses.
Hello, Hefty, I am no one in their right mind.
So for the past couple of hours, I have tried to come up with as many uses for these HandySaks as possible.
Here’s what I have:
- Trash bag
- Head cover for the ugly person you’re having sex with
- Barf bag
- Walrus condom
- Plastic overalls for a child
- Shower cap
- The worst mask you could ever use to rob a bank
- Cheapest bowling ball bag EVER
- Drool collector
- Deadly weapon
- Worst replacement for car airbag
- Dog muzzle
- Ineffective umbrella
- Something contestants must eat during Fear Factor episode
- Imaginary friend
- Dandruff catcher
- Bib
- Portable Potty
- Barbie parachute
- Cell phone static sound maker
- Blindfold
- Elephant condom
- Noisy bra stuffer
- Dog poop collector
- Temporary aquarium
- Hide porn purchases
- Unsafe ghost costume for children
- Replacement KKK hood
- Tank top
- Clothes hamper
- Worst balloon ever at the Macy’s Day Parade
- Surrender flag
- Ashlee Simpson muzzle
- Punching bag
- Replacement for feather in the next Forrest Gump movie
- A place to stash your weed
- Diaper bag
- Something to put on your doorknob to let your roommate know you’re getting it on
- Hobo purse
- Chihuahua carrier
- Horse condom
- Water bucket
- Noisy crotch stuffer
- Fog camouflage
- Bonnet
- Protect bald heads from sunlight
- Cheap fake Santa beard
- Wind measurer
- Michael Jackson face mask
- Trash
- Armpit sweat collectors
- Floatation device
- Dishwashing gloves
- Bondage toy
- Environmental hazard
- The new tumbleweed
- The new black
- Sea life strangler
- Hyperventilation aid
- American Idol contestant
- A cloud in a diorama
- Corny car antenna decoration
- Marvo condom
- A place to store old toenail clippings
- Temporary Underwater Breathing Apparatus (TUBA) (Thanks Lou)
- Hobo shoes (Thanks Lou)
- Sack for sack races (Thanks Lou)
- Hang it on wall and use it as a shelf-sack (Thanks Lou)
- Backpack (Thanks Lou)
- Wedding favors (Thanks Mir)
- Insulation (Thanks frymaster)
- Balloon (Thanks jenny)
- Ghetto Car Windshield (Thanks Damon)
- A bag to stick bags into (Thanks Mellie)
- Ghetto car bra (Thanks Webmiztris)
- Ugly dress (Thanks Webmiztris)
- Put under sheets to protect mattress from pee stains (Thanks Webmiztris)
- Keep your feet dry when you’re wearing leaky boots (Thanks Webmiztris)
- Suitcase substitute for poor people (Thanks Webmiztris)
- Big Foot’s Socks (Thanks Goldberry)
- Grape squishing shoes (Thanks Goldberry)
- Vet gloves (before they stuff their arms into a horse) (Thanks Goldberry)
- A pocket bib (Thanks Goldberry)
- Granny Panties (Thanks Goldberry)
- A jump rope out of ALL the bags in the package (Thanks Goldberry)
As you can see, I came up with only 64 uses, which is still a lot, but not the 101 uses Hefty advertised. Maybe I’m just lazy and there are many more uses for it.
Well let’s find out. Can you come up with more uses?
Update: Okay, okay, okay. Apparently, there ARE over 101 uses for these Hefty HandySaks. I’ll admit Hefty, I was wrong and you were right. I’m sorry, I will never doubt you again. You ARE waaaay better than Glad.
Item: Hefty HandySaks
Purchase Price: $1.04
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Loose-change-in-couch-cheap. Handy. Condensed. Lots of uses.
Cons: Bags are shaped weird. Lots of uses, but not 101 uses.