I didn’t buy these frozen Hooters Buffalo Style Chicken Strips because they were easy to make.
I didn’t buy them for the Hooters Original Medium Wing Sauce, which was all right.
I didn’t buy them so that I could finally accomplish my goal of having the word “Hooters” in every sentence of a review, so that I can giggle every time after I read the word “Hooters.”
I also didn’t buy them so I could blow up a couple of balloons, put on my Hooters uniform, stick the balloons under my Hooters uniform, and do jumping jack in the mirror.
I bought them to torture myself with a poor pre-cooked frozen representation of a food that will always taste 100 times better fresh and is always better when served to me by a woman in a tight Hooters uniform, who I have absolutely NO CHANCE in the world to score with, not even with Funky Cold Medina.
Now I don’t know what’s worse, getting a restraining order from a Hooters waitress or eating these Hooters Buffalo Style Chicken Strips.
Like I said before, the Hooters sauce was all right, but I don’t think that makes up for the fact that I paid over six bucks for this product and only got FIVE FRICKIN’ FROZEN STRIPS of boneless chicken.
Besides the amount of chicken, another thing that bothered me was the fact that the chicken wasn’t crispy after sticking them in the oven for suggested maximum of 13 minutes. The chicken were pretty limp, just like most men’s penises are when they realize they’re watching hermaphrodite porn.
Just remember to avoid any video with the title, “Double the Pleasure, Double the Trouble.” It really is double the trouble.
Anyway, I had the option of deep frying them, which probably would’ve made them crispy, but I lack a deep fryer and a healthy enough heart to withstand the shortening that the instructions suggested I use for frying.
If there was one thing that could’ve overcame the limp chicken, it would’ve been the sauce, but like I said before the sauce was okay. I remember the medium Hooters sauce in the restaurant being really spicy.
Oh wait. Now that I think about it, it wasn’t the medium Hooters sauce that I remember being really spicy, it was our waitress that was really spicy.
My bad.
(Editor’s Note: Okay. Okay. I suck! I still haven’t done the prize drawing yet. I will do it this week. I know I said that last week, but now I have someone to help me out.)
Item: Hooters Buffalo Style Chicken Strips
Purchase Price: $6.19 (on sale)
Rating: 1.5 out of 5
Pros: Easy to make, if you’ve got an oven. Hooters Original Medium Wing Sauce was okay.
Cons: Overpriced. Only five frickin’ pieces of chicken. Limp chicken. Sauce wasn’t creamy, like on the box. Doesn’t include a Hooters waitress that will turn me down.