REVIEW: McDonald’s Chicken Selects

McDonald's Chicken Selects

Damn, I’m such an idiot!

I knew I shouldn’t have picked the spicy buffalo sauce for the McDonald’s Chicken Selects!

I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!

The voices in my head were telling me I should go for the tangy low-fat honey mustard or the creamy ranch dipping sauce, because there was no way the McDonald’s spicy buffalo sauce could even come close to the sauce Hooters uses for their spicy, hot, juicy, voluptuous boob…I mean…Buffalo wings.

Maybe it was the carbon monoxide from the beat up Volkswagon Golf in front of me in the drive-thru lane that prevented me from changing my mind. Or it could have been the thoughts of bouncing Hooters girls.

Yes, Hooters girls…Ummm…

Uh, what?


So what makes these Chicken Selects better than the not-so-select Chicken McNuggets?

Most notable: They don’t have the embarrassing name of McNuggets.

Check this out. If you use the word “McNuggets” to replace the word “testicles” in any sentence, people will still understand the sentence.

For example: The Hamburgler was kicked in the McNuggets by Mayor McCheese, as he tried to steal hamburgers from that big fat purple blob, Grimace.

Oh yeah, I forgot: Robble! Robble!

So I was stuck with the spicy buffalo sauce, which wasn’t very good. Just like the voices in my head predicted. However, if there was something good that came out of this, it would be getting a five-piece Chicken Selects meal instead of the three-piece meal I ordered. Bonus, baby!

Two more premium-quality, 100 percent white chicken breast meat, seasoned and lightly breaded so they are crispy on the outside and juicy on the inside that I get to dip into a spicy buffalo sauce that I don’t like.

Thank goodness for universal condiment: Ketchup.

Item: McDonald’s Chicken Selects
Purchase Price: $4.39 (3 pc Value Meal)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: White chicken breast meat. Accidentally got 5 pieces. Heh, heh…McNuggets!
Cons: Spicy buffalo sauce wasn’t that good. Slightly expensive for just 3 pieces. Robble! Robble!

16 thoughts to “REVIEW: McDonald’s Chicken Selects”

  1. The Honey Mustard is amazing! On the other hand, stay away from the Ranch. I’ve never had a good experience. It usually tastes a little rancid.

  2. I wonder if all those new mcdonoalds in Irak have barbacue sauce ? Or maybe they will just use the international condement: “ketchup” ?

  3. McDonald’s really made some radical changes to their menu, I wonder if the rest of the competition will follow.

  4. IMO the best food value on the planet can be found at McDonalds — the McChicken sandwich for a dollar plus tax is a whole lunch worth of food, not bad for a buck!

  5. Does Dave Work for McDonalds, Inc?

    No offense, but you post seems, well, like the tagline on a commecrial.

    I’ll agree the dollar menu options are a great alternative to value meals where they fill you up with soda and French fries, but by no means does that constitute a meal.

    Yet, McDonalds has really made an effort in the last year or two to clean themselves up, and they are the obvious benchmark for fast food.

  6. So we went out and got our own Crispy Chicken selects tonight [dinner after 30 hours in the office]. Boy were we disappointed. Not only were the peices really small, we were not as lucky as the Impulsive Buy and only got as many as we ordered [3].

    And then there was the sauce. We followed our own advice and avoided the Ranch opting for the Honey Mustard. It wasn’t awful, if that’s an endorsement. But it was no Honey Mustard from say Wendy’s, and we hate Wendys.

    We think the Impulsive Buy was being a little TOO generous with 3 stars. Maybe we could agree if we got two peices for free.

  7. Most McDonald’s sauces aren’t very good, but we’re fans of the hot mustard sauce you can get with Chicken McNuggets.

    Yeah, we admit we added an extra point just because we got two extra pieces. Also, I think we added another point because we felt bad about bashing the last McDonald’s item we reviewed.

    I think we’re trying to prevent bad fast food karma.

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