NEWS: Starbucks Goes Donald Trump On Old Ice Cream Line And Replaces It With Younger Ice Cream Line

Starbucks recently launched a new super-premium ice cream in flavors that will be familiar to those Starbucks junkies who know the coffee giant’s menu better than the back of their hand. Of course, for those addicts it’s hard to see the back of their hand without spilling the Starbucks coffee it’s holding.

The new, perky ice cream line replaces the old, saggy ice cream line made by Dreyer’s. Unilever will produce it and make the ice cream with milk that’s free of recombinant bovine growth hormone (rBGH), just like Ben & Jerry’s — another company under the Unilever umbrella.

Again, if you have Starbucks running through your veins and exiting you through your urethra, the flavors that make up the new ice cream line will be familiar to you:

Caramel Macchiato – Swirled coffee and vanilla ice creams with ribbons of golden caramel.

Mocha Frappuccino – Swirled coffee and chocolate ice creams.

Java Chip Frappuccino – Coffee ice cream with dark chocolaty chunks.

Coffee – Swirled coffee and espresso ice creams.

Pints will be available at your favorite grocer, convenience store or superstore monstrosity for a suggested retail price of $3.99.

(Update: Read our review of the coffee flavor here.)

8 thoughts to “NEWS: Starbucks Goes Donald Trump On Old Ice Cream Line And Replaces It With Younger Ice Cream Line”

  1. This ice cream screams doughbag seriously. But yet I will be tempted to still buy it because I love Starbucks…so does that make me a douche?

  2. This icecream does sound tempting, it at the very least makes me curious, but as with everything else starbucks, I feel that I will probably have to refinance my loans just to afford it! Still it’s probably good, at least I hope so, I’d hate to be dissapointed by a sub-par ice cream!

  3. I really don’t like starbucks that much but for some reason this makes my mouth water, or it could be rabies.

  4. I just peed my pants. Caramel macchiato!?
    With a caramel ribbon! I love me some caramel ribbons. I must find this immediately!
    I wonder if it will make my pee smell like espresso the way the real stuff does?
    (I hope so!)


  5. I’m in heaven!! Starbuck’s ice cream is the best! Couldn’t get thru a day without it. Love the new size.

  6. I like Starbucks, but I find their previous line of ice cream and frozen novelties a bit disappointing. Hope the new line is better. Thanks for the heads up.

  7. @amanda: No, purchasing Starbucks stuff doesn’t make you a douchebag. Cutting in line to purchase Starbucks stuff makes you a douchebag.

    @Woodenhand: I think it would be easier if you just stood outside of a Starbucks and asked for loose change to get Starbucks. I believe people with Starbucks will have pity on someone who wants Starbucks.

    @Anita: I didn’t try the old line, but I might give the new one a try. I wish they would sell them at their stores though.

    @luckinflux: Are we going to have to put you down? I don’t want to, because you’re a loyal reader, but if it’s going to have to end up like Old Yeller then so be it.

    @JamieSusan: So does this mean I can stop eating asparagus to make my pee smell?

    @Helen Van Duzzer: You eat Starbucks ice cream every day?

    @TheSkinnyPlate: You’re welcome.

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