NEWS: Purple for the People Slurpee Is Just An Annoyingly Long Way To Say Grape

Update: This is a post for the 2010 Purple for the People, which was grape flavored.

I’ve never thought of a Slurpee as a peace pipe, nor have I thought of it as a way to unite people, but the folks at Slurpee hope their Purple for the People flavor (a.k.a Grape) brings people together during their Slurpee Unity Tour 2010.

What’s the Slurpee Unity Tour 2010? I don’t know. It sounds slightly political, but it also sounds completely like a sly marketing campaign to sell Slurpees.

The number of beverages that have the power to bring people together is extremely small. The only two I know of are a bottle of Coca-Cola and a keg of beer. If only the Purple for the People Slurpee had a catchy song that encouraged people to come together like Coca-Cola had in the 1970s.

According to the website, Purple for the People is only available on stops during the official Slurpee Unity Tour 2010. Eight ounces of it contains 67 calories, 0 grams of fat, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 18 grams of sugar, 14 milligrams of sodium and 29 milligrams of potassium.

13 thoughts to “NEWS: Purple for the People Slurpee Is Just An Annoyingly Long Way To Say Grape”

  1. The reason for this schtick is that on a number of occasions, President Obama has used Slurpees in his speeches (not going to go into the politics of this). A recent reference involved getting people from both sides of the aisle – Republican (red) and Democrat (blue) – to figure things out in a bipartisan way, jokingly withe the possibility of having Slurpees. Red + Blue = Purple.

  2. 7-11’s are far and few between in southern Ohio. After reading your post I see that maybe we have a higher degree of journalistic integrity in this part of the country. High profile my ass.

    1. Radio and tv stations don’t have a very far reach, but if USA Today isnt big enough for you shorter blurbs of a similar nature appeared in well-known newspapers such as the New York Times, Washington Post, and Wall Street Journal. It must be nice to live someplace where the media takes themselves that seriously all the time. No “and finally, some local man sets some pointless record” or “dog saves family from fire” pieces; I hate that kind of filler. At least I think I was able to satisfactorily demonstrate that at least im this case I’m not a paranoid nutjob, no? Possibly deserving of an apology?

      1. Eh, forget it. What was I thinking? This is the internet; we can’t have people apologizing to each other!

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