The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs

Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs

To ensure you don’t think of me as a devout carnivore, who shuns meatless products, I’m going to preface this review by saying I regularly buy Morningstar Farms products.

Whenever they go on sale, I buy their Meal Starter Grillers Recipe Crumbles to replace ground beef; I usually have a box of their BBQ Riblets in my freezer for those times when I’m too lazy to cook; and I regularly purchase the Costco-sized box of their Original Sausage Patties.

I’ve tried many Morningstar Farms products and they’re all decent or better. Oh, except for their veggie bacon, which is quite disgusting and haunts my taste buds every day.

So would Morningstar Farms’ new Veggie Dogs be a new favorite or something that will torment my taste buds for years?

Oh, should point out it seems weird the Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs box proclaims, in large sans serif letters, these veggie dogs are new, because they’re not. Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs were around for years and then disappeared from shelves for a long time, much to the dismay of many people.

But now they’re back, baby!

I know I tasted the original Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs, but I don’t remember what they taste like. Maybe because they were so horrible that my brain has hidden the traumatic experience deep within my mind. Or maybe I forgot because my knowledge of 1990s hip-hop lyrics wrote over the memory. But after tasting these dogs, I think it’s definitely the latter because these veggie dogs don’t make me want to spit them out.

I guess the nicest word I could use to describe these veggie dogs is tolerable. I mean, what should I expect for something that has just 0.5 grams of fat. They look like hot dogs and have a meat-like flavor, but it’s a fraction of the flavor with regular hot dogs. However, with enough ketchup, mustard, and onions on it, with my eyes closed, and me repeatedly saying “yummy” with my mouth full, I think I could trick my mind into thinking it’s a decent hot dog.

However, they’re skinny and don’t have the same feel as a hot dog. A hot dog’s exterior coating doesn’t give as easily as these Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs. Putting my fork through one of these dogs feels like putting a fork through unprepared SPAM. It’s a little off-putting, along with them looking like they have some kind of skin disorder.

Also, I would’ve been nice if they came in a pack of eight, like hot dog buns, but instead they came in an inconvenient pack of six.

I’ve had the misfortune of tasting two or three other brands of veggie dogs over the years. I don’t remember the brands, but just thinking of those veggie dogs make me a little nauseous because they were quite horrible. These Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs are definitely better. But as someone who occasionally enjoys a Costco hot dog after buying a Costco-sized box of Morningstar Farms sausage patties, I can’t say they’re nearly as enjoyable as a regular hot dogs.

However, if you’re a vegetarian, you’ll probably enjoy them a lot more.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 link – 50 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 430 milligrams of sodium, 15 milligrams of potassium, 4 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.)

Item: Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs
Purchased Price: $4.99 (on sale)
Size: 6 veggie dogs
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Best veggie dog I’ve had. Tolerable, especially if you pile on the ketchup, mustard, and onions. Didn’t want to spit them out. Only 0.5 grams of fat. 7 grams of protein. My ability to lip-sync with 90s hip-hop.
Cons: Skinny dogs. Box contains six veggie dogs, so if you buy a pack of hot dogs buns, you’ll have two extra. Don’t have the same feel as a hot dog. They look like they have a skin disorder. Morningstar Farms Veggie Bacon.

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