The time my dad gave me a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume, I marveled at my plastic mask and thought, Whoa! I’m really a kick-butt, justice-fighting transmuted turtle! Four and a half minutes later, as the tight, thigh-hugging spandex of the costume cut off my circulation, it struck me: Where would I train? How could I keep it from mom? Would I be able to speak in turtle? How would I fight crime in spandex?!
Yes, dear readers, it was here, at the cusp of my 4-year-old birthday, that I recognized just how many elements there are to juggle as a hunchbacked reptile whose sole aim in life is to stop crime from a major metropolitan sewer system.
In a similar fashion, there are lots of elements one must juggle when dealing with a raspberry cupcake: fluffy cake, floofy icing, [oftentimes] gooey jelly insides, and, every now and then, some coconut flakes are all flyin’ everywhere. If cakes had monikers, the raspberry cupcake would be called Goofball Magoo: it’s kinda awkward and, at the same time, a bit ingenious.
However, if you’re running all about, those mini cakes prove themselves tough to transport and downright hazardous to those pants you just washed. Luckily, Extra noticed that there’s a hole in the bucket of the world for people who wanted a less chaotic raspberry vanilla cupcake experience and they’re now offering said flavor to their ever-expanding line of Dessert Delights Gum and I’m one eager human to jump on the bandwagon to see how it is.
I already appreciate this gum. Just look at that unassuming aluminum wrapper, that trademark cornstarch dust. Classic.
Before I even chew, I gotta say that Wrigley’s did a swell job mimicking the raspberry-vanilla scent. The stick has a tart, artificial raspberry aroma that heightens into a straight-up sweet smell with a hint of… is that vanilla pudding powder? Sure smells like it.
Much like other forms of fruity gum, the smell of these chewy wedges permeates anything within a 2-foot radius. Depending on where you stow your 15 pieces, this could work for or against you. If you want your apartment to smell good, it could replace your Febreze air freshener. However, if you put said gum beside your tuna salad sandwich for lunch, you may have disaster on your hands. Please, avoid disaster.
The flavor of the gum itself is mild, sweet, and slightly tart, like a raspberries ‘n crème candy in chewy form: cool, sweet vanilla comes at the forefront while the raspberry comes in on the tail end and serves as the main highlight. The artificial-ness of the raspberry is there, but in a pleasant, floral way, leaning almost to the edge of a raspberry Fruit Loops without being too sweet, although it got a little overwhelming and even a little bitter as I came to the end of my brief chewing venture.
And it’s a brief venture, indeed. In a similar style to its Dessert Delight cousins, this stick of gum fails to sustain its flavor for long. After 3 sticks, I clocked it at an average of 6 minutes and 43 seconds before the flavor faded and, not 2 more minutes later, it turned into a Goodyear tire. Not exactly stunning, but not the worst I’ve had either.
The aftertaste lingers for a bit, which is something I could’ve lived without, but it was at least 97.6 percent better than morning breath.
Like most sugarfree gum, there’s no nutritional harm or hindrance here. Aspartame and sucralose combine their powers to form a mighty low five-calorie chewy plank. Unfortunately, there’s no vitamin C in artificial raspberries, so you’re losing that in the switch from raspberry cupcake to gum. Fortunately, I have no fear of scurvy.
Life is full of little surprises. Like finding a twenty-dollar bill in the dryer. Or getting a double batch of Twix at the vending machine. Or learning that your pet frog can tap dance. While not as cool as a cavorting amphibian, I’d say this gum counts as a happy surprise. I had fairly low expectations of this gum and was pleased to find it’s no fuss, comes in an easy-to-close package, and makes my breath a little happier. While not something I’ll buy too often, it’s a pretty good stick of something fruity to gnaw on.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 stick – 5 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 0 milligrams of potassium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugars, 2 grams of sugar alcohol, and 0 grams of protein.)
Item: Extra Dessert Delights Raspberry Vanilla Cupcake Gum
Purchased Price: 99 cents
Size: 15 sticks
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Subtle Fruit Loops raspberry-ness. Vanilla tastes like Jell-O pudding. Classic aluminum wrapper. Only 5 calories. 96.7 percent better than morning breath. Goofball Magoo. Finding 20 bucks in the dryer.
Cons: Not a cupcake. Raspberry flavor can linger too long. Turns into a chewy tire after about 8 minutes and 43 seconds. Artificial raspberries don’t have vitamin C. The complexities of being an anthropomorphic hunchbacked reptile.