Want to go around the world without stepping foot through TSA?
Here is your option, people.
Brach’s has offered us an invitation to journey abroad, through France, America, Japan, Spain, and… wherever lemon sorbet comes from…
(\*Rushes to Google\*)
Italy! Yes, Italy is where lemon sorbet is from. And they all come in this one, simple baggie.
But before we begin tasting, you should know: my standards for jelly beans are of the highest order. I expect a crunchy candy outside, a slightly-grainy, but-not-too-grainy jelly inside, and zero flavors of artificial dyes. There should be little air and plenty of flavor. I want sugar and a lot of it. Plus, my nickname is Jelly Bean. I must uphold my good name!
So, with that rant done, let’s begin the taste test:
Lemon sorbet: tastes like a lemon drop. Super sweet, barely tangy. Not bad, but not mind-blowing.
Strawberry mochi: Tastes a bit like a strawberry milkshake and bubble gum sprinkled with Trix on top. It’s Hello Kitty in jelly bean form. I’m impressed.
Chocolate macaron: Tastes like a bad idea wrapped in a sugary wet paper bag. Or like a super sweet, yet stale Tootsie Roll that you find buried in that coat you were about to donate.
Apple pie: Tastes like an apple Jolly Rancher that dissolved in a glass of water. Mainly sugar, very little apple.
Churro: Interesting. Tastes like brown sugar. Lacks that oomph of freshly fried, cinnamon-coated dough. May make Spain cry tears of sadness.
On the whole, the texture of these is a little lumpy, chunky, and overly sweet, which is more disappointing than when you realize your car’s back tire got a nail in it last week and it’s been slowly, slowly deflating, but you don’t want to take it to the shop because rent’s due and nothing’s happened yet, right?? So you should be good…
Look, Brach’s gave it their best here. They get props for trying something new in a space where few do. However, the strawberry mochi pieces are the only ones I’d come back for. The texture of the beans was inconsistent, the lemon, apple, and churro were uneventful, and the chocolate macaron really brought the whole bag down. You can give these a try if you like eating stuff that’s disappointing, but maybe avoid them if you want to live a happy, non-disappointing life.
Purchased Price: $3.50
Size: 10 oz bag
Purchased at: Five Below
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (21 pieces) 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 5 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 21 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.