Want to go around the world without stepping foot through TSA?
Here is your option, people.
Brach’s has offered us an invitation to journey abroad, through France, America, Japan, Spain, and… wherever lemon sorbet comes from…
(\*Rushes to Google\*)
Italy! Yes, Italy is where lemon sorbet is from. And they all come in this one, simple baggie.
But before we begin tasting, you should know: my standards for jelly beans are of the highest order. I expect a crunchy candy outside, a slightly-grainy, but-not-too-grainy jelly inside, and zero flavors of artificial dyes. There should be little air and plenty of flavor. I want sugar and a lot of it. Plus, my nickname is Jelly Bean. I must uphold my good name!
So, with that rant done, let’s begin the taste test:
Lemon sorbet: tastes like a lemon drop. Super sweet, barely tangy. Not bad, but not mind-blowing.
Strawberry mochi: Tastes a bit like a strawberry milkshake and bubble gum sprinkled with Trix on top. It’s Hello Kitty in jelly bean form. I’m impressed.
Chocolate macaron: Tastes like a bad idea wrapped in a sugary wet paper bag. Or like a super sweet, yet stale Tootsie Roll that you find buried in that coat you were about to donate.
Apple pie: Tastes like an apple Jolly Rancher that dissolved in a glass of water. Mainly sugar, very little apple.
Churro: Interesting. Tastes like brown sugar. Lacks that oomph of freshly fried, cinnamon-coated dough. May make Spain cry tears of sadness.
On the whole, the texture of these is a little lumpy, chunky, and overly sweet, which is more disappointing than when you realize your car’s back tire got a nail in it last week and it’s been slowly, slowly deflating, but you don’t want to take it to the shop because rent’s due and nothing’s happened yet, right?? So you should be good…
Look, Brach’s gave it their best here. They get props for trying something new in a space where few do. However, the strawberry mochi pieces are the only ones I’d come back for. The texture of the beans was inconsistent, the lemon, apple, and churro were uneventful, and the chocolate macaron really brought the whole bag down. You can give these a try if you like eating stuff that’s disappointing, but maybe avoid them if you want to live a happy, non-disappointing life.
Purchased Price: $3.50
Size: 10 oz bag
Purchased at: Five Below
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (21 pieces) 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 5 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 21 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.
So the apple pie is sour apple like a Jolly Rancher?
Nope…at least not in my opinion. They were, in fact (again, my opinion) the hands-down *best* flavor in the bag, followed next by the strawberry mochi. I am not even a “sweets person”, and I thought the apple pie-flavored ones were to die for! I’d love a whole bag of just those; they were that good.
I think for the strawberry mochi. They could had attempted a mochi texture to make it more like a chewy mochi.
Tiramisu jelly bean would be better idea. Creme Brulee jelly bean.
It sounds like the chocolate macaron one perfectly captured my experience with macarons. I always find them flavorless and dull.
Definitely agree that a mediocre macaron is pretty much just a waste of calories but a good macaron is amazing. The shells don’t taste like too much so the filling has to do all the heavy lifting.
Interesting. I do like Brach’s plain old jellybeans like you see at Easter: the texture, the size (much bigger than the popular Jelly Bellies), the basic flavors. This seems different by all three measures. And Yup brings up an interesting question. I’m not into sour apple at all, but apple pie is a favorite dessert of mine.
Thanks for the review! Carried them around the drugstore for a few minutes before I decided to wait until next time… may pass on these and try the Skittles or Welch’s ones instead.