Are you one of those weirdos who lets vanilla ice cream melt into a liquid before consuming? Well then, Mr. or Miss Melty Pants, I know of a product that will save you some time if you want liquified vanilla ice cream. No, it’s not a microwave oven. It’s International Delight’s Very Vanilla Nog.
Speaking of weird, it’s odd to see an International Delight product that has nothing to do with coffee. Although, technically, one could use ID’s Very Vanilla Nog as a liquid coffee creamer.
To be honest, it also feels a bit weird to call this product a nog.
I don’t want to use the fifth grade tactic of using a dictionary definition to make a point, but I feel I must here. According to my computer’s dictionary, nog is short for eggnog. Nog also “a small block or peg of wood,” so feel free to use the word “nog” as new slang for male genitalia that has shrunken from cold weather.
Anyhoo, if we’re to go by the definition, International Delight’s Very Vanilla Nog is not nog. It’s notg. It doesn’t have eggs, cinnamon, or nutmeg. International Delight does have a Classic version of their nog that, according to the ID website, has “a hint of sweet nutmeg flavor and notes of light rum.” But it has no eggs, so it’s also notg.
Not having eggs in a holiday nog that has dairy is like having Thanksgiving without the turkey, Christmas without mall Santas, and Black Friday without the YouTube videos of folks getting into fights over cheap crap at Walmart.
While International Delight’s Very Vanilla Nog doesn’t have eggs or the spices associated with eggnog, it does have a couple of ingredients found in most store-bought eggnogs — delicious guar gum and carrageenan. Wait. Did I say “delicious”? I meant, necessary to thicken this beverage so that it’s the consistency of melted ice cream.
Now with all that said, I wish International Delight’s Very Vanilla Nog never goes away because it really does smell and taste like vanilla ice cream, and, oh my goodness, it makes eating things you usually consume with milk much better.
Cereal…better.
Hershey’s syrup…better.
Oreo dunking…better.
So International Delight should just drop the nog name so that they can sell it throughout the year. Call it Magic Milk. That’s probably taken, so they should go with a different spelling, like Majic Mylk. I mean, if International Delight can get away with calling their Very Vanilla Nog a nog, they can probably get away with alternate spellings.
(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 120 calories, 20 calories from fat, 2 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, and 15% calcium.)
Item: International Delight Very Vanilla Nog
Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: 1 Quart
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Smells and tastes like vanilla ice cream. Has a consistency similar to melted vanilla ice cream. Makes eating things you usually consume with milk much better.
Cons: It being called “nog” even though it doesn’t have eggs or spices. It’s weird this product has nothing to do with coffee. Getting a nog in cold weather.