Do the kiddos still use the word “epic”? I’m asking for a friend because, obviously, I know the answer because I’m totally cool. Wait. Do the kiddos still use the word “cool”? Anyhoo, Pepperidge Farm is using the word that may or may not be hip to help name its latest crunchy fish-shaped snack —- Goldfish Epic Crunch.
According to the packaging, the snack has a tortilla crunch and big flavor, and that “big flavor” is available in three varieties — Ranch, Nacho, and Honey BBQ. While Ranch and Nacho have graced the surface area of previous Goldfish, Honey BBQ appears to be a first for the snack.
The hollow pieces are more massive than regular Goldfish, and they do have an epic crunch that reminds me of rolled tortilla chips, but they don’t have epic flavor.
They’re not completely tasteless, but the seasonings are light in flavor, and they fade quickly, leaving behind mostly the whole grain tortilla base to torture my taste buds until I eat more.
The reason why these don’t do it for me is because, with all three varieties, they’re like diet versions of some of my favorite snacks. Ranch reminds me of Cool Ranch Doritos; Nacho evokes Nacho Cheese Doritos; and Honey BBQ brings to mind Fritos Honey BBQ Flavor Twists (the best Fritos, IMO). I’d rather have the tasty goodness of the originals than diet versions.
However, much like Cool Ranch and Nacho Cheese Doritos, eating Goldfish Epic Crunch will lead to getting the seasoning on your fingers, which will turn your digits into savory suckers after you’re done eating. Although, it’s not as potent as what you’d get from Doritos. But, if you think about it, whatever seasoning ends up on your fingers won’t be on the Goldfish, which is where it needs to be.
My unscientific guess at how much lighter the taste is to those classic snacks would be about 50 percent, which is not strong enough to compel me to keep sticking my hand into the bag to catch more of these Goldfish. I wish they were, to use a Pepperidge Farm trademark, Flavor Blasted.
Overall, Pepperidge Farm’s Goldfish Epic Crunch is something I wouldn’t try again. With regular cheddar Goldfish, the salty and cheesiness makes me want to keep stuffing my mouth with them. But I don’t want to do that with these. They do have an epic crunch, but their flavor is wiggity wiggity wack.
Do the kiddos still use “wiggity wiggity wack”?
DISCLOSURE: I received a free sample of the product. Doing so did not influence my review in any way. Although, you probably guessed that while reading this review.
Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 5.5 oz. bags
Purchased at: Received from Pepperidge Farm
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (26 pieces) Ranch – 130 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Nacho – 130 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Honey BBQ – 130 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.