REVIEW: Goldfish Crisps

There have been so many flavors of Goldfish Crackers that it becomes difficult to pinpoint at any one time exactly how many are actively on the market. But there are only THREE types of Goldfish CRISPS, and that’s easier to figure out because they’re brand new, baby!

When I think of Goldfish crackers, my mind immediately goes to the classic cheddar flavor, the little orange smiley guys that are delightfully cheesy. I decided to try the cheddar flavor Goldfish Crisps first in homage. The Goldfish Crisps’ main difference from classic Goldfish Crackers is their texture. These are very light and puffy and certainly live up to the crisp namesake. They have a slightly sweet, very mild base and leave it to the seasoning powder to do the heavy lifting on flavor. The cheddar seasoning powder is pretty tasty and just salty enough to keep you coming back for return bites.

I was surprised, however, at the lack of cheesy flavor in the base until I looked it up and realized that Original Goldfish Crackers are also devoid of cheese. My bad, Pepperidge Farm! The Goldfish Crisp base seems much closer to the Original Goldfish Cracker base in flavor, but it is potato-based and contains whey. The crispy texture reminds me of Quest Protein chips, but these are much better and not as mouth drying.

My fingers dove into the schools of Salt & Vinegar and Sour Cream & Onion Goldfish Crisps next. I’ll admit I’m not an enormous salt and vinegar fan, but these seemed particularly off base. Because the base crisp has a slight sweetness, they just tasted like salt & vinegar club crackers. The vinegar flavor was way too strong, and I found it easy to stop eating them. Another thing I noticed was that all Goldfish crisps are devoid of the characteristic Goldfish Cracker “smile.” Not to worry, though, I wasn’t smiling at the salt & vinegar flavor, so I didn’t care that they weren’t smiling back.

The sour cream & onion variety, on the other hand, was downright addictive. The seasoning blend on these Goldfish Crisps was super delicious, like any classic sour cream & onion chip. They were generously seasoned (an extreme case shown below!), which added to the enjoyment. They reminded me of homemade ranch-seasoned oyster crackers. In fact, ranch would be a great line extension if anyone at Big Pepperidge happens to be reading.

Overall, I’m pretty impressed by the new Goldfish Crisps. If you assume Goldfish’s base snack business is largely aimed at children, these seem designed for an older consumer. They mean business with their strong flavor and fishy faces devoid of emotion. I’d certainly try the sour cream & onion again, in particular.

Purchased Price: $3.99 each
Size: 6.25 oz bag
Purchased at: Jewel Osco
Rating: Cheddar (7 out of 10), Salt & Vinegar (5 out of 10), Sour Cream & Onion (9 out of 10)
Nutrition Facts: Per Serving (44 pieces) Cheddar 140 Calories, 6 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Salt & Vinegar – 140 Calories, 6 grams of fat, 0.5 gram of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Sour Cream & Onion – 140 Calories, 6 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Goldfish Dunkin’ Pumpkin Spice Grahams

Goldfish Dunkin Pumpkin Spice Grahams Bag

When Pepperidge Farm opened the collaboration gates with its iconic line of Goldfish crackers last year, I was excited about the possibilities. Sure, Goldfish are known for “blasting” things and “extra crunch-ing” things but colliding with other established seasonings for a limited time is fun, especially when they’re done well. Both the Frank’s RedHot and Old Bay collabs were fantastic, but as someone closely watching for future Goldfish marriage partners, I never saw this one coming. The snack that smiles back has officially gone “basic” with Dunkin’ Pumpkin Spice Grahams.

I love that the bag is shaped and colored like a bag of Dunkin’ coffee, but also thrilled that the Goldfish are pumpkin spice-flavored, not pumpkin spice latte. Rather than go the PSL route, the cracker-cookies aim to mimic the chain’s Pumpkin Spice Cake Donut, which is great for me because I don’t need any more caffeine than I’m already consuming.

Goldfish Dunkin Pumpkin Spice Grahams Pour

Immediately the aroma wafting from the bag is like a warm autumn hug with honey-kissed swirls of graham. This is my first pumpkin spice product of the season, and I’m giddy. The taste immediately hits me in all of my fall feelings — mild cinnamon and nutmeg back up a fantastic buttery sweet brown sugar molasses flavor accented by cloves. None of the spices are too aggressive, but they’re all accounted for.

The snack has a really great texture too. I would never call Cheddar Goldfish “dry” as an insult, but these are less so than your classic Cheddar variety. Like many crackers, normal Goldfish can build up to a salty paste when eaten quickly, and these carry a bit more moisture than their cheesy counterparts, crumbling with buttery ease. That gentle crumble makes them hard to stop popping into my mouth. It’s far too easy to down a 52-fish serving without thinking of closing the non-resealable bag.

Goldfish Dunkin Pumpkin Spice Grahams Swimming

The more I eat, the more the spices mellow, and the flavor fades to a mild but delicious graham that’s incredibly snackable. They’re like a more complex sibling to Cinnamon Teddy Grahams. The Goldfish don’t have the aggressive, in-your-face punch of Pumpkin Spice Cheerios, but I don’t think they need that. No matter how much they might like it, I’m not going to throw these fishies in a bowl to swim in milk, and I love how perfectly balanced the flavor is straight from the bag. When I take a break from the fish and return after eating something salty as a palate cleanser, the spice level is right back to being where it was — a mild but present mix of cloves and cinnamon with the subtlest touch of vanilla.

Goldfish Dunkin Pumpkin Spice Grahams Pumpkin

Dunkin’ Pumpkin Spice Grahams don’t really remind me of a donut, and they don’t taste distinctly like pumpkin, but they do summon the flavors of the sweater weather season wonderfully. Perhaps if Pepperidge Farm finished the fish with a glaze like the donut pictured on the bag, they would do better to channel that flavor. But I like these Goldfish more than Dunkin’s donut, so I don’t mind its absence.

Purchased Price: I paid way too much to get a two-pack shipped from Goldfish, but you can get them at Target for $2.39
Size: 6.6 oz bag
Purchased at: Online
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (52 pieces, 30g) 140 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Goldfish Old Bay Seasoned Crackers

Goldfish Old Bay Seasoned Crackers Bag

What are Goldfish Old Bay Seasoned Crackers?

Goldfish’s latest limited edition drop brings Old Bay seasoning to the cracker aisle! If you’ve never had it, it’s a signature blend of 18 herbs and spices. It was invented in Baltimore, Maryland, for steamed crab, so I still immediately associate it with seafood, crawfish boils, etc. But, it’s truly the bomb on everything — including Goldfish crackers.

How is it?

Goldfish Old Bay Seasoned Crackers Inside the Bag

I expected it to be a bright orange cheddar cracker because of the image on the front. But it was actually pale and oyster cracker-esque. It still worked well, though!

While the seasoning coverage looked sparse and inconsistent, it was super flavorful. It was true to Old Bay’s aromatic start with a generous punch of salt, tempered by a backdrop of slight sweetness. It peaked at a high note of celeriac and ended with a bit of heat on the back of my tongue. This flavor journey also came with Goldfish’s gummy goodness that gets stuck in your molars when you eat ’em by the handful.

Goldfish Old Bay Seasoned Crackers Smiles

However, I noticed that almost none of my fish-shaped crackers smiled back. I truly find delight in the “snack that smiles back,” and I expect it with all Goldfish crackers. So, I dumped out the bag and flipped each one over – only to get a sad dimple or half-smile here and there.

Yes, I’m fully aware that this doesn’t affect the taste, but it does have an outsized impact on my joy of eating these crackers.

Anything else you need to know?

The simplicity of the packaging is stunning. The designers really brought forward the yellow and red colors of the Old Bay tin can. I could spot it easily five feet away from where it was sitting on display.

Conclusion:

Goldfish Old Bay Seasoned Crackers Bag Back

Since this is Goldfish and McCormick’s second collab (the first time was Frank’s RedHot), and I believe good things come in threes, I’m sure we’ll have another one to look forward to. Would French’s Seasoned Goldfish be too polarizing?

Purchased Price: $1.98
Size: 6.6 oz bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (55 pieces or 30 grams) 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 310 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of fiber, and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Goldfish Mega Bites Cheddar Jalapeno

Goldfish Cheddar Jalapeno Mega Bites Bag

What are Goldfish Mega Bites Cheddar Jalapeño?

Like many of us, Goldfish came into the new year with a resolution — to get JACKED. Pepperidge Farm’s classic cheddar cracker goes Mega, doubling in size and bringing the heat with Cheddar Jalapeño seasoning.

How are they?

Goldfish Cheddar Jalapeno Mega Bites In the Bag

They’re good, but not super exciting. I was really surprised by the intensity and accuracy of last spring’s Frank’s RedHot collaboration, and with those lingering in my memory, I want a more robust taste from something with the word “mega” on it. The jalapeño is definitely there, bringing a nice heat to the tried and true cheddar flavor of the standard Goldfish cracker, but it doesn’t really wow me.

I’ve found with the Flavor Blasted line that the dusty seasoning applied is never as potent as a proper junky potato chip, and that applies here. I want a bit more bite from the fish as a whole.

Goldfish Cheddar Jalapeno Mega Bites Spill

One of the elements I really enjoy about Goldfish is their volume, and I’m not sure the bigger size adds anything positive to my preferred snacking experience. They’re not bad or stale, but the texture is ever-so-slightly less enjoyable than the original size. The crunch isn’t quite as tight, and I can’t get as many into my mouth at once, so there’s a less satisfying crunch.

Anything else you need to know?

A serving of regular Goldfish clocks in at 55 pieces for 30 grams, whereas the Mega Bites come in at 22 for 30 grams, officially making them MORE than twice the size of the classic fishies. While there’s also a 10 calorie boost for the Mega Bites, I would say it’s safe to assume each Mega is about 2.25 times the size. For reference, here’s a Mega next to a classic Golden Oreo.

Goldfish Cheddar Jalapeno Mega Bites Size

Conclusion:

While this review may seem negative, I actually think Goldfish are underrated. Cheez-Its are my favorite cheesy cracker, but right behind them are Goldfish, and they’re frequently on hand as a go-to snack for my partner. These fishies will absolutely be devoured, but I wouldn’t repurchase them, as I don’t think the bigger size leads to bigger satisfaction.

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 5.9 oz
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (22 pieces/30 grams) 150 calories, 7 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 320 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Frank’s RedHot Goldfish Crackers

Limited Edition Frank s RedHot Goldfish Crackers Bag

What are Limited Edition Frank’s RedHot Goldfish Crackers?

The snack that smiles back gets a fiery Frank’s RedHot makeover. It might be Goldfish’s first food brand collaboration. If it isn’t, it’s a rare occurrence. The classic orange-clad Cheddar Goldfish collide with a powdered version of the sauce responsible for the iconic Buffalo wing zing popular at sports bars across America.

How are they?

Limited Edition Frank s RedHot Goldfish Crackers Spill

Spicy! Impressively spicy. Frank’s has two distinct flavors — a tangy vinegar and a spicy tickle, and these fish lean pretty decisively into the spice with just a touch of the tang. It took me by surprise because even though I still enjoy them as an adult, I always think of Goldfish as a kid’s snack, something that I’ve been eating since I could chew. Most children would be running around in circles with their tongues out, waving a floppy hand in front of their face if they grabbed these by accident — and I respect Pepperidge Farm for being true to the collaboration.

The cheddar compliments the spicy zing, and as the heat builds with continuous snacking, the cheesiness mellows it out so that it never gets too overwhelming. It’s a really well put together snack that showcases both flavors beautifully.

Anything else you need to know?

Before these crackers, the “spiciest” Goldfish I had was Flavor Blasted Nacho, and those weren’t really spicy at all. Apparently, there was a Hot ‘n Spicy Cheddar, but I’ve never had them. So I can’t compare the heat level, but I’ve got to imagine these are hotter.

Conclusion:

Limited Edition Frank s RedHot Goldfish Crackers Closeup

If you’re a fan of Goldfish and hot wings, picking up this collab is a no-brainer. Even more exciting is the prospect of additional funky flavors coming from Pepperidge Farm in the future. Are these Goldfish dipping their toes into the Oreo and Pringles level of experimentation? I hope so.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 6.6 Ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (55 pieces – 30 grams) 140 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 300 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, 3 grams of protein.