Author: Denis

REVIEW: Frosted Crisp Apple Pop-Tarts

Denis 2 Comments

Frosted Crisp Apple Pop Tarts

What are Frosted Crisp Apple Pop-Tarts?

They’re a Walmart-exclusive variety that’s now a part of the seemingly endless list of Pop-Tarts flavors.

How are they?

Frosted Crisp Apple Pop Tarts 3

Filled with potential but ultimately pretty average. OK, it’s actually filled with apple goo, and that part is tasty. The flavor and consistency reminded me of the hot apple lava that McDonald’s puts in their pies, but not the new, less sugar “healthier” filling it started using a few months ago. It’s more of the previous, full-sugar version.

As an aside, I pity those of you who are not old enough to remember when Mickey D’s would fry their apple pies. Sure, you risked severe burns on the inside of your mouth by eating one, but they were so much better than the baked versions of today.

Frosted Crisp Apple Pop Tarts 2

Back to the Pop-Tarts though, and this version seems kind of like a missed opportunity. Yes, the apple filling is good, but with the standard white Pop-Tarts frosting this doesn’t really distinguish itself from any other regular fruit flavor. Previous members of the apple Pop-Tart family, like caramel apple, cinnamon apple, apple strudel and Jolly Rancher green apple, had something special going on outside with either a flavored and colorful frosting or some type of coating.

This variety is not bad, but maybe the Pop-Tarts people could have tried a little harder to come up with something new and unique. And no, adding “crisp” in front of apple doesn’t count.

Is there anything else you need to know?

It appears that Walmart only offers these in the 16-count “Value Pack” rather than the standard 8-count boxes, so make sure you are prepared for that kind of commitment before purchasing.

Conclusion:

If you are a Pop-Tarts and a crisp apple enthusiast, then you’ll probably enjoy these, but even then it’s unlikely you’ll be itching to stock up before they disappear.

If your goal in life is to try every Pop-Tart flavor ever made, then congrats on setting a pretty awesome goal for yourself and have at it. But if not, there are plenty of other more satisfying and unique flavors out there to try.

Purchased Price: $3.68
Size: 28.2 oz. box/16-pack
Purchased at: Walmart (Exclusive Flavor)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pastry) 200 calories, 5 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 14 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Hershey’s Milk Chocolate & Reese’s Pieces Bar

Denis 4 Comments

Hershey s Milk Chocolate Reese s Pieces Bar

What is the Hershey’s Milk Chocolate & Reese’s Pieces Bar?

The love child of a Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Bar and Reese’s Pieces, or as the Hershey’s marketing folks put it “the ultimate celebration of the top two iconic chocolate franchises that will melt your heart to pieces for a once-in-a-lifetime epic treat.”

How is it?

Hershey s Milk Chocolate Reese s Pieces Bar 2

Based on the aforementioned tagline, I was fully prepared for a life-changing, out-of-body experience that I would eventually tell my grandchildren about. Sadly, the little yet-to-be-born rascals will instead have to listen to other stories, like the time I saw The Rock at the airport. But despite not quite living up to the WWE-style marketing hype, this is a tasty treat.

Hershey s Milk Chocolate Reese s Pieces Bar 3

The Reese’s Pieces stand out nicely from the milk chocolate and provide a solid crunch that is obviously absent from a plain chocolate bar. The candy also adds a light peanut butter flavor that complements the creamy chocolate perfectly without making you think you are just eating a flattened peanut butter cup.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Hershey s Milk Chocolate Reese s Pieces Bar 4

If the photos don’t give it away, the Reese’s Pieces are actually minis. There is also a king size version of this, but I didn’t have any luck finding it. If that one has a thicker bar with full-size Pieces, it might offer a bit more crunchiness. Also, whoever designed the wrapper apparently doesn’t believe in equality in the candy world, because the Hershey’s part covers much more than half.

Conclusion:

At first glance, I figured this wouldn’t be much different than just chucking some Reese’s Pieces in my mouth along with a bite of a Hershey’s bar, but having the Pieces embedded in the chocolate takes this to the next level. It might not be an epic candy creation — like Reese’s Pieces were — but it’s a nice change of pace from the standard chocolate bar.

Purchased Price: $1.29
Size: 1.55 oz. bar
Purchased at: Walgreens
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bar) 220 calories, 12 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 66 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 25 grams of sugar and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Archie McPhee Clamdy Canes and Mac & Cheese Candy Canes

Denis 6 Comments

Archie McPhee Clamdy Canes

Except for starting with the third letter of the alphabet, there is no reason whatsoever for clams and candy canes to go together. But don’t tell that to the folks at Archie McPhee, a Seattle-based company that specializes in all things weird, including candy canes. They have unleashed a diabolical digestive debacle known as the Clamdy Cane (yes, it’s clam-flavored candy).

Archie McPhee Mac & Cheese Candy Canes

The company also birthed a sibling, a slightly less heinous mac & cheese-flavored variety, which joined a candy cane family that already included bacon, pickle, rotisserie chicken, coal (apparently smoke and cinnamon-flavored) and Krampus (also cinnamon).

For this review of the two new flavors, I tackled the challenge with equal parts excitement and fear. I consider myself to be open-minded about a great many things, including trying unique foods. Even so, it was hard not to be a little concerned that these would be biblically bad.

With that said, let’s establish that this review is not really about if these, particularly the clammy concoction, taste “good.” You don’t buy barf-flavored jelly beans or turkey and gravy soda because you think it will be delicious (trust me, it’s not), you buy it so you can say you did and that you tried it. So I did, and I did.

Clamdy Canes

Archie McPhee Clamdy Canes 2

The McPhee website says Clamdy Canes are “gray and white.” However, I found that woefully insufficient and humbly suggest a more accurate white and “dirty paint water.” I know, that probably won’t fit on a crayon, but I couldn’t help thinking the color looked like that nasty slurry after you’ve rinsed a paint brush a dozen times.

I’m happy to report that the Clamdy Canes do taste better than dirty paint water (don’t ask how I know), but it’s not exactly a convincing victory. Surprisingly, there was not much of a smell to these, at least at first. If you really try, you can get a whiff of something if you almost put it up your nose. I couldn’t place the smell, but I wouldn’t call it pleasant. Oddly, after a few licks, the scent comes out, and it’s still not pleasant. I wouldn’t say it smells like clams; it reminded me of warm, flat beer.

As for the taste, it wasn’t bad, and it was certainly better than I thought it would be. There was a hint of a fishy-like taste, but it wasn’t overwhelming or off-putting. It had a subtler sweetness compared to a traditional candy cane, and after you get past the initial thought of “ewww, I’m eating a clam-flavored candy cane,” it was palatable.

But I was a little disappointed that it didn’t taste a bit clammier and grosser. Instead, it was almost like one of those mucous-colored hard candies you see sitting in a bowl on a reception desk that you grab because you can’t pass up free candy. You pop one in your mouth but have no idea what flavor it is and would struggle to describe it to someone.

Did I finish the whole Clamdy Cane? No, but if I didn’t have the mac & cheese flavor to look forward to I could have.

Mac & Cheese Candy Canes

The mac & cheese variety had the same sneaky lack of smell at first until after my tongue caressed it. For this one, the smell is spot-on, at least for the fluorescent orange powered mac & cheese in a box, not your grandma’s homemade stuff.

Archie McPhee Mac & Cheese Candy Canes 2

But for as much as it nailed the smell, the taste was a letdown. If not for the aroma and the packaging, I’m not sure I’d even be able to place it as mac & cheese. Like the clam one, the flavor wasn’t bad. It had a nice, mild sweetness to it, but no real discernible taste and not one that reminds you of creamy, cheesy dish. The best description I can do is if you licked a regular candy cane and swirled it around Fun Dip-style in a bag of Cheetos.

Archie McPhee Mac Cheese Candy Canes and Clamdy Canes

Overall, it’s tricky to score these. On taste alone, they are not bad, but neither one hits the mark as far as what was advertised on the box, though it could be argued that’s a good thing, particularly for the Clamdy Canes. And I do give Archie McPhee points for coming up with a couple of new flavors that stand out in a crowded field of crazy candy concoctions. So as a tasty treat that satisfies your craving for mac & cheese or clams, these are a hard pass. But as a fun holiday gift or prank, even Santa might be tempted to have a box or two on hand.

(Nutrition Facts – Not listed on package.)

Purchased Price: $5.95 each (plus $4.95 total shipping)
Size: 3.8 oz. box for a 6 pack
Purchased at: mcphee.com
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Clamdy)
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Mac & Cheese)
Pros: Not nearly as disgusting as you might expect. Would work well for those stupid gift exchanges at work or among family.

Cons: Bad wordplay on the McPhee website for the Clamdy Canes, including “your family will clamor for them” and “one shell of a candy.” The dancing clam with a Santa hat is a bit disturbing.

QUICK REVIEW: Kit Kat Snack Mix

Denis

Kit Kat Snack Mix

What is the Kit Kat Snack Mix?

The latest in the lineup of snack mixes from The Hershey Company; the Kit Kit Snack Mix contains pretzel balls, chocolate wafer bites, honey roasted almonds and of course, Kit Kat minis.

Kit Kat Snack Mix 3

How is it?

Quite tasty! I’ve tried just about all the snack mixes in the Hershey’s family, including M&M’s, Reese’s, Almond Joy, and regular Hershey’s (and there’s also a Take 5 version). Those all contain plain peanuts or plain almonds, but this one features honey roasted almonds, which makes it feel a little extra special and adds a more complex flavor to the entire sweet and salty mix.

At first, I thought the inclusion of chocolate wafer bites was a bit redundant because that’s basically what Kit Kats are, but the two chocolate varieties here worked well together.

Kit Kat Snack Mix 4

The Kit Kat minis have a fair amount of wafer, while the chocolate wafer bites seemed to be mostly chocolate, as you can see in the cross-sections. That gave them each a different texture and taste, so both were tasty on their own or in combination with the rest of the mix.

Is there anything else I need to know?

If I had to guess, I’d say almonds are the priciest of the ingredients in here, so it’s no surprise that there appear to be more pretzels than nuts in the mix. So if you want an almond or two in every bite, you might have to do a little digging and not get greedy with any three almond mouthfuls.

Kit Kat Snack Mix 2

In my particular canister, I found a pair of almonds and a pair of pretzels apparently making an attempt to procreate, so perhaps the pretzel couple was more successful and that explains the population disparity inside.

Conclusion:

None of these snack mix products are going to blow your mind, and with a price that works out to nearly $10 per pound, it would be much more economical to buy the components separately and mix it yourself. Of course, I’m too lazy to do that — and I trust you are too. So if you are looking to mix up your snacking, the Kit Kat Snack Mix is one of the best options out there.

Purchased Price: $3.58
Size: 5.7 oz. canister
Purchased at: H-E-B
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 oz. serving) 150 calories, 7 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 129 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Burger King Frosted Frozen Fanta Orange

Denis 8 Comments

Burger King Frosted Frozen Fanta Orange

What is it?

In case the name didn’t give it away, it’s Burger King’s new summer drink blending Frozen Fanta Orange with vanilla soft serve.

How is it?

Burger King Frosted Frozen Fanta Orange 2

Decent, adequate, ordinary.

Grab a thesaurus, or use that Google thing, and pick your favorite adjective for average. Mine is fair to middling. With a simple concoction such as this, it would be hard to envision it being incredible or terrible. And it’s not; it’s just okay.

Burger King Frosted Frozen Fanta Orange 3

I was expecting more of an orange Creamsicle/Dreamsicle taste. This will remind you of that, but only faintly. There just wasn’t much tang from the Fanta and not much sweetness from the soft serve. Also, the consistency was a touch gritty — not quite a milkshake and not quite a slush.

Maybe the BK soft serve is to blame (after all, Dairy Queen and McDonald’s are known for their soft serve; BK not so much). I’m not sure I even knew BK had soft serve before having this.

Is there anything else I need to know?

One caveat about this review: upon ordering I was given the dreaded “let me see if the machine is working” response. After a less-than-confident “I think so” from the manager, my order proceeded. And the Burger King I patronized did not have Fanta of any variety at the soda fountain, so that made me wonder where said Fanta came from for my drink. Unfortunately, the machine that might or might not have been working properly was located out of view, so the mystery endures.

Conclusion:

If you are having one of those blah days where you don’t want to be too excited about something or too disappointed, this might be the drink for you.

Purchased Price: $2.00
Size: 16 oz.
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 180 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 grams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 42 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 41 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.