REVIEW: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros Cereal

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros

What is Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros?

With unique but dubious flavor choices such as Sour Patch Kids being zapped with a cereal transmogrifier, toast for breakfast is passé.

Luckily, chef Wendell minored in business at Cereal U. and nixed the Avocado Toast Crunch suggestion for revitalizing Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Instead, he’s leaning into his core competency and retooling some of his cinnamon soot spewing factories to produce new Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros.

How is it?

Original Cinnamon Toast Crunch is on my Mount Sugarrushmore of breakfast cereals. So it is no small accolade to say Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros is a slightly different but still fantastic addition. While the smaller squares of Cinnamon Toast Crunch delightfully smother my type 2 sugar receptors, Churros’ sweetness is dialed back despite the sugar content being nearly identical.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros 3

A combination of larger cereal pieces, the omission of fructose, and a heavier cinnamon hand produce a slightly more balanced flavor. Dry, the altered shape packs as much if not even more crunch than Wendell’s piratical competitor.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros 4

More importantly, while Cinnamon Toast Crunch becomes soggy at the sound of a refrigerator door opening, Churros retains its crunch longer in milk. This larger window before soggification creates pillowy bites that call to mind the times I’ve dipped an apple cider donut into a glass of cider. Minus the apple of course. While I’ve never dunked a churro into milk, I expect the result would be similar.

Is there anything else you need to know?

I used unsweetened almond milk in my bowl. I do not expect your choice of milk mate will impact the flavor much.

Conclusion:

If I had to choose between the two, I still slightly prefer Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but do not let that dissuade you from trying them for your yourself. Feeling the pressure to take his milquetoast toast shapes to the next level, Chef Wendell has cooked up something churrific.

Purchased Price: $3.64
Size: 19.7 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3/4 cup) 130 calories, 3 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 2 gram of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Dairy Queen Secret Menu Coffee Oreo Blizzard

Dairy Queen Secret Menu Coffee Oreo Blizzard

What is the Coffee Oreo Blizzard?

The Coffee Oreo Blizzard fulfills my childhood dream of being an ice cream secret agent. This “secret” menu item tasks my alter ego secret agent DQ7 with requesting coffee syrup to be blended with the standard vanilla base and Oreo cookie pieces.

How is it?

Dairy Queen Secret Menu Coffee Oreo Blizzard 2

The basic request for a coffee infusion added a flavor so light that I thought it was undercover itself. A slight mocha note peaks its shy head up in the bites that are light on Oreo magic. A spoonful consisting of cookies galore on the other hand drown out the faint whispers of coffee flavor found in their absence. This raises the vanilla floor, but the Oreo cookie ceiling isn’t even raised enough for Oddjob. The coffee syrup is a pleasant but uninspiring addition.

Is there anything else you need to know?

I take any opportunity to don a tuxedo and affect a terrible, and probably offensive, British accent. It is however completely unnecessary when ordering from the “secret” menu. At least based upon the lack of a convoluted plot to slowly lower me into a gigantic bladed Blizzard stirrer.

Dairy Queen Secret Menu Coffee Oreo Blizzard 3

To order the Coffee Oreo Blizzard for yourself, simply ask for coffee syrup to be added to the Oreo Cookie Blizzard. If you want more than just a hint of coffee, ask them to double it. Just don’t ask for it to be shaken and not stirred unless you enjoy exasperated eye rolls. I was not charged extra for the coffee flavoring, but they may have been scared of my license to chill.

Conclusion:

My first mission as a Dairy Queen secret agent ended satisfactorily. Coffee flavor fans will find this hack to be neutral at worst, and at best, an incremental upgrade unworthy of Q. Next time, I will ask for a heavier hand with the java juice.

Purchased Price: $4.19
Size: Medium
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: None available.

QUICK REVIEW: Dairy Queen Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard

Dairy Queen Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard

What is it?

A new Blizzard gracing the menu for September, snickerdoodle cookie dough and cinnamon sugar mixed with vanilla soft serve.

How is it?

The Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard reminds me of the fantasy football draft I participated in while eating it. The prospect of cinnamon sugar cookie dough leaves me salivating just as a new season’s roster full of fantasy goodness does. Unfortunately, both end the same way as well —- with me chagrined.

Dairy Queen clearly spent its first pick on cinnamon sugar rather than invest in a bell-cow cookie dough. The base presents a heavy cinnamon flavor that pervades throughout in spite of DQ fumbling at thoroughly mixing my Blizzard. Meanwhile, the promised sugar teammate provides the distinct crunch and fun grit that one expects to find in a snickerdoodle.

Dairy Queen Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard 2

Despite the hot start, the cookie dough fails to impress. While it contains the standard soft and gritty DQ texture, whatever innate flavor the dough possesses is entirely overwhelmed by the cinnamon sugar ice cream. Furthermore, the pieces lack any hint of the tanginess found in a traditional snickerdoodle cookie. Rather than serving as a star player, this relegates the dough to a flex spot. This predictably caps the Blizzard’s upside. And I realized this as I was being kicked out of a league for trying to draft Cookie Monster at QB.

Is there anything else I need to know?

The Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard is the only new offering on Dairy Queen’s Fall Blizzard Menu. Also available are the returning Oreo Hot Cocoa, Dipped Strawberry with Ghirardelli, and September’s Blizzard of the Month, Pumpkin Pie.

Conclusion:

Dairy Queen Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard 3

Dairy Queen replicates the superficial elements of a snickerdoodle cookie, but it fails to capture enough of its spirit to truly impress. The end of the cup didn’t leave me dejectedly crying in the shower like this year’s draft, but it isn’t taking home the Shiva Bowl Trophy either.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: Mini
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Mini) 400 calories, 16 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, .5 gram of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 42 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

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QUICK REVIEW: Dairy Queen Reese’s Outrageous Blizzard

Dairy Queen Outrageous Blizzard

What is it?

Like last month’s Oreo Firework Blizzard, the Reese’s Outrageous Blizzard is a copycat of the candy that shares its name. August’s Blizzard of the Month combines peanut butter and caramel topping in vanilla soft serve with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Pieces — but not the eponymous candy bar.

How is it?

The Outrageous is a dream come true for my accordion-necked alien induced addiction to Reese’s Pieces. The peanut butter-flavored soft serve is appropriately brash for a treat heralded as outrageous, and the extra saltiness it brings is complemented fantastically by the sweeter caramel.

While the base is full of leguminous goodness, what really had my heart Skippying a beat is the addition of Reese’s Pieces. Broken bits of crispy shell provide the crunch that famously enamors wrinkly extra-terrestrials. The sweetly coated candy’s classic taste is amplified by the caramel and peanut butter infused vanilla ice cream.

Dairy Queen Outrageous Blizzard 2

Sadly, the less numerous Cups are crowded out. There are enough to impart a needed chocolate vibe, but it lacks the pronounced punch one expects from Reese’s Cups. To the Outrageous’ credit though, every spoonful includes a large, if imbalanced, amount of candy.

Is there anything else I need to know?

Dairy Queen Outrageous Blizzard 3

This is an iteration on 2017’s Reese’s Extreme Blizzard where chocolatey topping is swapped out in favor of caramel. As peanut butter and chocolate will probably be found on my death certificate, I am shocked that I love the Outrageous whereas I was underwhelmed by yesteryears not so extreme take on Reese’s. I guess the more accurate Reese’s Satisfactory Blizzard didn’t have the same ring to it.

Conclusion:

If you need a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup fix, stick with the classic menu mainstay. If on the other hand you love Reese’s Pieces or peanut butter in general, then the Reese’s Outrageous will leave you phoning home to tell all of your friends about it.

Purchased Price: $3.89
Size: Medium
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Medium) 1010 calories, 45 grams of fat, 21 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 540 milligrams of sodium, 137 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 105 grams of sugar, and 17 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Dairy Queen Star Spangled Blizzard

Dairy Queen Star Spangled Blizzard

What is it?

One of two 4th of July themed treats, the limited release Star Spangled Blizzard mixes blue candy with cherry flavored soft serve topped with a signature DQ ball and curl; red, white, and blue DQ Stars; and a Stripes StarKiss frozen treat.

How is it?

The saying beauty is only skin deep applies to ice cream too apparently. The StarKiss bar is a clever marketing gimmick that adds nothing to the taste experience while making it more difficult to actually eat the Blizzard.

Dairy Queen Star Spangled Blizzard Star Bar

Its rapidly melting form forces you to consume it immediately. Ironically not the star of the show, I’ll briefly say that beyond the cherry stripe there is only a nondescript artificial and substandard sweetness.

Dairy Queen Star Spangled Blizzard No Bar

After extracting the not so bomb pop, the cherry syrup flavored soft serve is buried beneath the vanilla curl where I wish I had left it. While visually striking, the cherry substrate’s flavor is, in a word, bad. In more words, it is as authentic to cherry as Robitussin watered down with corn syrup.

Dairy Queen Star Spangled Blizzard Half

While the plain, but classic, vanilla helps, at no point did the cherry component enhance the Blizzard. Meanwhile, the blue candy provides a fun crunch but no discernable flavor of its own. Probably a good thing if the rest of the Blizzard is any indication.

Is there anything else I need to know?

I was asked what size I wanted despite the website and menu listing mini as the only option. It could have been asked out of habit, but I also paid $3.99 whereas the menu listed $4.29. Still a premium, but clearly there was a discrepancy.

Conclusion:

Dairy Queen Star Spangled Blizzard Spoon

It’s a bad sign when I find myself wishing upon a StarKiss bar that this Blizzard was only plain vanilla and blue candy. As I learned with fireworks as a kid, some things are better seen than eaten.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: Mini
Rating: 3 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Unavailable on DQ’s website as of July 4, 2018.

QUICK REVIEW: Dairy Queen Oreo Firework Blizzard

Dairy Queen Oreo Firework Blizzard

What is it?

July’s Blizzard of the Month, the Oreo Firework Blizzard does not include actual Firework Oreo cookies. Rather, it combines the standard Dairy Queen Oreo cookie pieces with red and blue popping candy in vanilla soft serve.

How is it?

The classic Oreo Cookie Blizzard flavor serves as the night sky to the carbon dioxide based confectionary “fireworks.” The popping candy is abundant without seeming to come at the cost of the cookie mix-ins. Meanwhile, Uncle Sam-themed light red and blue “candy white coating” prevents premature detonation of the pressurized cores. Initially a bit odd to bite into, the almost squishy sheath is starkly contrasted against the crisp crunch of cookie bits and rock centers alike. Once the fuse is lit by puncturing the shell, the candies pop with aplomb.

Dairy Queen Oreo Firework Blizzard 3

Unfortunately, I prefer fireworks lighting the night sky to launching from my spoonful of ice cream. What begins as an interesting novelty grows tiresome by the bottom of the cup. To its credit though, the popping candy is more than just a marketing gimmick to elicit “oohs and aahs” from the crowd. The protective candy coating itself is infused with a delicious creme flavor. This is sure to please all of the crème loving Oreo “Twisters” out there, you know who you are.

Is there anything else I need to know?

I almost died bringing you this review. Well, the slick popping candy coating led to mild choking anyway. If you properly chew your treat rather than inhale it like Kirby coming off a 6-month juice cleanse, you should be fine.

Conclusion:

Dairy Queen Oreo Firework Blizzard 2

While the creme-flavored candy coating is delicious, I’d rather leave the accompanying explosions to the firework displays than my ice cream. For Oreo and Pop Rock lovers who don’t chase sparkler wielding kids off of their lawn like me, this may be a perfect 10.

Purchased Price: $3.39
Size: Small
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Small)  660 calories, 25 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 320 milligrams of sodium, 98 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 78 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.