FLAVORS OF THE MONTH: May 2011

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Here are this month’s limited time offers.

Baskin Robbins’ Flavor of the Month is Golden Oreo Gold Rush! Yes, the exclamation point is part of its name. The bright yellow flavor is made up of lemon custard ice cream with Oreo icing ribbon and Golden Oreo cookie pieces mixed in. A 2.5-ounce scoop has 220 calories, 13 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

This month, Slurpee released a new flavor called Summertime Lime, which combines lime with a hint of vanilla. But I wonder how many people are going drop a little mixology and combine Summertime Lime Slurpee with tequila or their favorite hard liquor? This seasonal Slurpee has no caffeine and is made using natural flavors, but contains no juice. An 8-ounce serving contains 65 calories, 0 grams of fat, 5 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, and 17 grams of sugar.

Dairy Queen’s May Blizzard of the Month is German Chocolate Brownie, which is made up of vanilla soft serve, chewy brownie pieces, pecan pieces, caramel, and coconut. To be honest, I’ve never heard of German chocolate brownies until reading about this Blizzard. Thanks DQ for educating me. I forgive you for coming up with the word “RIDQULOUS.” If you want to read a review, On Second Scoop posted one. A small serving of German Chocolate Brownie Blizzard has 700 calories, 34 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 420 milligrams of sodium, 90 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 67 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.

Finally, Subway’s $5 Featured Footlong of the month is the Orchard Chicken Salad sub, which isn’t a new sandwich. It’s been around for several years, but when it’s been available, it’s only for a limited time, much like it is this month. If you’ve never experienced the Orchard Chicken Salad sub, it’s made using chicken chunks, apples, golden raisins, cranberries, and celery mixed with a light mayo. Grub Grade and Brand Eating both reviewed the sandwich last year. A six-inch Orchard Chicken Salad sub has 350 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 560 milligrams of sodium, 54 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 20 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum

Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum

When I picked up the Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum, I wondered why they would call it that when there’s an Orange Creamsicle printed on the front of the packaging. And then I thought why would they create a gum that emulates something that happens to imitate something else. That something is an orange cream soda, and that something else is an Orange Creamsicle.

Now, at this point, some of you might be yelling at your computer monitor calling me an idiot because you’ve seen what’s wrong with the picture I’ve painted in my head. And some of you might be following the same wrong path my mind took while trying to figure this out. But here is where I right the ship.

“Pop” is a synonym for soda, although I’ve never called it “pop.” I’ve always called it “soda” because that’s what the fizzing voices from an open Pepsi tell me I should call it. But because I saw the word “pop” and orange cream soda exists in the world, I put two and two together and thought the gum was trying to emulate the flavor of an orange cream soda, which tries to taste like an Orange Creamsicle. Eventually, I realized that when I originally put two and two together, I got 22 when I should’ve gotten four.

For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why the gum was named after a soda, but had a picture of an Orange Creamsicle on its packaging. I even bought a six-pack of orange cream soda, hoping that the fizzing voices from an open bottle would tell me why. The only word I heard when I put my ear next to the bottle’s neck was…Wikipedia.

I searched for “Creamsicle” on Wikipedia and was directed to the Popsicle page. Yes, a capital P with a circled R near the end to designated it as a register trademark. At this point, I realized “pop” was the non-trademarked term companies can call their frozen treats without getting letters from Unilever’s lawyers. Also at this point, I thought I shouldn’t tell anyone about my stupidity, but then I couldn’t come up with an intro for this Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum review, so here we are.

Of course, this confusion could’ve been avoided if Wrigley’s teamed up with the Popsicle brand and called it “Orange Creamsicle.” Or they could’ve called it “Orange Creme Frozen Dessert Treat,” but I imagine the graphic designer designing the box would not be pleased with that horribly wordy name. Or I could’ve realized that orange cream soda is not a dessert.

Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum Naked

The Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum smells like orange Metamucil, which is something no product other than orange Metamucil should smell like. After putting the gum into my mouth it starts off with a strong orange flavor, then after several chews the creme part comes in, and it’s not bad. But after 45 seconds, its flavor dramatically drops. If I was a woman and the Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum was a lover on top of me and he was done in 45 seconds, I’d be pissed.

However, since I’m a man, although with boobs, and the Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum is just gum, I shouldn’t be pissed, but I am. When the flavor diminished, what I was left with was a very mild orange flavor until I decided to spit it out, or throw it into the hair of someone I think needs a haircut.

That very mild orange flavor is the major problem with it. At this point, it doesn’t taste like an orange creme frozen dessert treat. It’s just orange without the vanilla, and that folks is…vanilla.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 stick – 5 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 gram of sugar alcohol, and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum
Price: $1.19
Size: 15 sticks
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Flavor for the first 45 seconds is not bad. It’s sugarfree gum. 5 calories per stick, which I just burned whille typing this review. Orange Creamsicles. Wikipedia.
Cons: Smells like orange Metamucil. Too much orange, but not enough creme. My slow mind. Pissing off graphic designers. Putting two and two together and getting 22. A 45 second man.

NEWS: Arby’s Brings Back An Old Favorite and Introduces Its Much Younger and Skinnier Sister

Arby's Roast Beef Sandwich

Arby’s, the producer of Horsey Sauce, is bringing back an old favorite and a twist on that old favorite. The Market Fresh Grilled Chicken & Pecan Salad Sandwich is back again and it brought with it the less bready Market Fresh Grilled Chicken & Pecan Salad Wrap.

The Market Fresh Grilled Chicken & Pecan Salad menu items have grilled chicken, diced red apples, crunchy pecans, celery, and red grapes in between either honey wheat bread or a whole grain flatbread wrap. It sure sounds tasty, but it also sounds healthy. After all, it’s got fruits, vegetables, nuts, and whole grains. If that don’t make a nutritionist’s nipples hard, then I don’t know what will. However, looking at the nutrition facts, it might make a nutritionist’s nipples retract.

The Grilled Chicken & Pecan Salad Sandwich has 840 calories, 400 calories from fat, 44 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 1220 milligrams of sodium, 82 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and 34 grams of protein.

The Grilled Chicken and Pecan Salad Wrap is slightly better at 630 calories, 370 calories from fat, 41 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 1020 milligrams of sodium, 46 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 30 grams of protein.

Well, at least, you’ll be able to get some fruits, vegetables, nuts, whole grains, and maybe some Arby’s curly fries from it.

The Market Fresh Grilled Chicken & Pecan Salad Sandwich and Wrap are available for a limited time at participating restaurants.

NEWS: Dunkin’ Donuts Blueberry Waffle Breakfast Sandwich Makes Me Wonder What Else I Could Turn Into Sandwich Buns

Before it was popular to make fried chicken filets into sandwich buns, but after it was popular to make pancakes into sandwich buns, Dunkin’ Donuts turned waffles into sandwich buns. While Dunkin’ Donuts’ original Waffle Breakfast Sandwich is gone, they’re bringing back waffles as buns with their new Blueberry Waffle Breakfast Sandwich.

The sandwich is constructed using two blueberry flavored waffles, a scrambled egg, a maple flavored sausage and a slice of American cheese. The only way it could be any better is if it was stuffed in between two pancakes, and then placed in between two fried chicken filets.

The Blueberry Waffle Sandwich has 550 calories, 350 calories from fat, 38 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 235 milligrams of cholesterol, 1250 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, 20 grams of protein, 8% vitamin A, 20% calcium, and 15% iron.

NEWS: White Castle’s New Bacon Sliders Make Me Want To Have My Own Harold and Kumar Adventure (I Would Be Harold)

You scream. I scream. We all scream for ice cream.

Oh wait, my bad.

You’re taken. I’m taken. We’re all taken with bacon, including White Castle.

Recently, the fast food chain that many people wish would expand westward introduced two new Bacon Sliders: the Bacon & Ranch Slider and the Bacon & Cheddar Slider.

The way they’re promoting these two new sliders make it sound like bacon is a new ingredient for them, but they already have a bacon cheeseburger on the menu. Although the bacon in that slider comes in strip form, while the new sliders have bacon crumbles which are sprinkled on top of the beef patties and onions, like bacon snow.

But that’s not all the bacon news from White Castle. They also released their new Loaded Fries with bacon crumbles, ranch dressing and cheese sauce.

The two new Bacon Sliders and Loaded Fries are available for a limited time. Also, you can get a coupon for a free Bacon & Cheddar Slider or Bacon & Ranch Slider with any Sack Meal purchase via White Castle’s Facebook page.