ANNOUNCEMENT: New Impulsive Buy Reviewer Elaine

It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s Elaine!

Hi! I’m Elaine and I’m like a foodie-Superman with a lot less powers and no toned abs. Like Superman, I have speed – I can scarf a cheeseburger faster than anybody I know. I also have enhanced senses and can identify when dessert is nearby. As an avid consumer of edible goods with years of experience eating and critiquing nutritionally bad food, I’ve been honing these superpowers.

I’m always on the lookout for new and better tasting products to try. Carbohydrates, in any form, call to me. Are carbs my yellow sun or kryptonite? Huh. Naturally and like many of you, I found TIB years ago and now check it daily. I’m delighted to now be a TIB reviewer. What’s better than trying scrumptious products while subsidizing a food addiction?

While I have a day job that requires a lot of work, I spend my free time daydreaming of delicious dishes to try. Prior to the years of training and education required for my day job, I honed my palate by working at Taco Bell. I come from a long line of Taco Bell employees. Seriously, this line includes my mother, sister, brother, cousin, second cousin, and probably some other relatives I don’t know about.

I have also worked as part of the Hy-Vee family, a Midwest supermarket chain. Hopefully you’ll find these qualifications worthy of a cape. No skintight suit for me please (see ab description above).

I’m honored to have the opportunity to serve you, TIB readers, by reviewing new food products and sharing whatever tangential, but hopefully interesting, thoughts come to mind. Now to find a phone booth…

Respectfully, Elaine

ANNOUNCEMENT: New Reviewer Sam

Well, Gouda day to you, and aloe me to introduce myself!

My name is Sam, and I am a food-obsessed, food-loving, and food pun-loving individual, and you butter dill with it! Ok, I’m done with the lame puns.

To kick things off, I am a born-and-raised Wisconsinite, so I’ve got the heart and soul to deal with anything fried, hearty, or related to good food. I know how to properly eat cheese (fried) and how to differentiate between all creamed goods that come from a cow. Seriously, some of the ice cream flavors in Wisconsin are utter this world. Ok, last one.

I grew up in a town right outside of Green Bay and have loved discovering new food products and recipes since I was a little kid. However, there was always an issue with where I grew up. I never had access to the cool and trending options and products that plaster themselves in all large, urban areas. For Heaven’s sake, if I want a decent vegan burger, I need to drive two and a half hours to Milwaukee. Not that I have done that. Not at all.

Anyhoo, since I didn’t always have access to the most exciting foods, ya know, besides fried cheese and custard, I was so excited when I could get my hands on something new. I mean, after a while, a diet of dairy, dairy, dairy, and fried dairy tends to get a little lifeless.

As much I love cows and cows, I really need to move to a bigger city. Eventually, I want to get to Chicago, so I can start being even more of a scatterbrain with just a little more chaos because what’s the fun in being sane? Plus, I’ve been to Chicago every year, and their food game is honestly stronger than a Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson cheat meal.

I am so excited to be joining The Impulsive Buy to give a fun glimpse into various products and review them so that I can help you in your life. Should you disagree with an opinion of mine on food, you’ll be wrong, but we can still coexist. I’m absolutely kidding, but I will make you prove me wrong about a cheese curd.

I look forward to reviewing all the fun, sugary, and tasty treats for this site, and I have one motto going forward: If it has greens or kale in it, I’m not wasting my time.

Here we go!

Sam

ANNOUNCEMENT: New Impulsive Buy Reviewer Dustin

“Allow myself to introduce…myself.”

Hey everybody! My name is Dustin and I’m here to join you on this wild ride of all things sweet, savory, and, all-too-frequently, not very good for you. I’m a new reviewer here at The Impulsive Buy and we’re going to have some fun together.

I am a fan of all foods that are limited edition, seasonal, hard-to-find, or just plain delicious. This is largely because so many of my childhood favorites got ripped away from me prematurely. Daydreams of Josta and Ecto Cooler parade around in my mind regularly. I would do morally questionable things for a package of Keebler Magic Middles or a bag of Planters P.B. Crisps. Doritos 3D and I used to have an unbreakable bond. Taco Bell has been lackluster since they banished the Chili Cheese Burrito. Many of the beloved cereals from my childhood have evolved into mental myths as they’ve been gone for so long.

Suffice it to say, I have a bit of a complex. I’m always on a mission to find something amazing, knowing full well that it will likely be gone as soon as I become attached.

This relationship with food led me to The Impulsive Buy a few years ago. I’ve been a regular reader and I consider myself quite fortunate to get to write content for the site. Plus, it’s yet another way to let my self-indulgent creativity flow.
I’ve lived nearly my whole life in the sweltering Sonoran Desert of Arizona. Because of that, Sonoran hot dogs are my life-blood and I highly recommend trying them if you can find one.

My absolute favorite thing to consume is ice cream, so you could say that it’s my “niche.” Consider me an equal opportunity eater when it comes to ice cream: I’ll eat everything from the cheapest, most synthetic ice cream in large, plastic gallon tubs to much higher-end, decadent offerings. I love it all.

I’m excited to share my affinity for junk food with you all and, fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), you’ll be getting to know me just a little bit in the process. Cheers!

ANNOUNCEMENT: New Impulsive Buy Reviewer Ann

Hello, you, scrolling through The Impulsive Buy at your desk. Good Morning!

No, I’m not creepily watching you through your webcam, we just have the same beloved morning routine! My name is Ann, and I’m a new contributor here at The Impulsive Buy. I’ve been reading TIB for years, typically over my first (fine, third) cup of coffee at my job in the CPG (Consumer Packaged Goods) industry.

I love food and all of the physical and emotional things it can do for us. I love the anticipation of finding new flavors, the exploration of trying new foods you’ve never considered before, and the community of people willing to discuss (or debate!) all the minutia of what makes something delicious, clever, truly innovative, or truly horrendous.

When it comes to polarizing foods and flavors, I’m in the camp of “Yeah, I’m probably still going to eat that.” Think olives, cottage cheese, pineapple on pizza (teaser), I’m going to try it. I’m most likely going to like it, but I promise to be truthful in my description so that when you come at me with internet pitchforks, I can at least fall on my “fair and honest” sword.

Now, let’s eat!

ANNOUNCEMENT: Looking for New Reviewers (2019 Edition)

We’re looking for reviewers again.

If you’d like to apply, here’s what you’ll need to send:

  1. One review sample.
  2. Photos of the product you reviewed. (Full resolution versions, please!)
  3. A bio that includes why you want to write for The Impulsive Buy.

A Few Notes:

  • For the product you select to review, choose something new and something you’d see reviewed here at TIB. “New” means something that came out within the past six months, and it can be something we’ve already reviewed. “Something you’d see reviewed here at TIB” is something somewhat to very much bad for you.
  • We have two review formats here at TIB, a long format (around 500 words) and a short format (around 300-400 words) and comes with subheadings. Do a long format review.
  • It’s a paid gig. It’s per review, and it varies based on whether it’s a long or short format review. Also, the pay is not enough for you to quit your day job, but it’s enough for you to gorge on a lot of Taco Bell tacos or even more Jack in the Box tacos.
  • At this time, we’re only looking for writers located in the United States.

Please send your review, bio, and photos as separate attachments. Do not embed your photos into your review.

To apply, please email your sample review, pictures, and bio to theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com with “I think Josta should come back” in the subject line. We will stop accepting applicants on Sunday, September 29, 2019.

If you have any questions, please feel free to email us.

Thank you.

Marvo
Editor

TIB’S SEASON OF GIVING 2018: DAY 15

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On the fifteenth (and last) day of The Impulsive Buy’s Season of Giving 2018, we are offering:

One Mystery Envelope

I could type clues to give you an idea of what’s in the mystery envelope, but instead I’ll give a round of thanks. We posted a little over 300 reviews and a little under 4,000 Spotted photos in 2018. Those numbers couldn’t have been possible without our great writers and Spotted contributors, so I’d like to say thanks to them for the time and effort they put into making TIB what it is.

But TIB really wouldn’t be where it is today without all of you readers out there who come back on a regular basis to learn what new products are out there and to find out how they taste. So my last thanks goes out to everyone who has visited us this year, from those who’ve just discovered us to those who’ve been coming around for 14 years.

Thank you very much!

RULES:

To enter this prize drawing for a Mystery Envelope, leave a comment with THIS post. You can write whatever you want, but please don’t forget to fill out the email field because we’ll be emailing the randomly selected winner for his or her mailing address.

We will stop accepting entries on December 31, 2018 at 9:00 p.m. Hawaii Standard Time. Only one comment allowed per person, and it’s only open to U.S. residents 18 years old or older.

Just a note: If you post a comment but it’s not showing up, it ended up in our comment spam folder for some strange reason. There’s no need to attempt to post another comment. I’ll be pulling those comments out of the comment spam vortex throughout the day.

Good luck!

FINE PRINT: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you emails about how this year’s bunny will take your pounds. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you a SASE. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail or damaged mail.