The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: MiO Fit Liquid Water Enhancer (Arctic Grape and Berry Blast)

March 7, 2013December 24, 2020 Marvo 11 Comments

In order to properly test MiO Fit Liquid Water Enhancer, I decided I had to do something a bit more intense than my usual exercise of choice — walking.

With walking I don’t need the fancy electrolytes and B vitamins MiO Fit provides. After doing the simple act of walking, all I simply need to rehydrate and satisfy my simple thirst is some simple water that came from a kitchen faucet, went through a Brita filter, and then chilled in the refrigerator for at least four hours. Simple.

I like walking because I can do it whenever and I don’t need a trainer yelling at me to motivate me. If I want someone to yell commands at me, I’ll just pay $150 to have Mistress Pain put a leash around my neck and force me to lick her boots in a poorly lit room. With walking, all I need to do is put on some shoes, hit play on my iPod, and go wherever my two feet take me. And then come back into the house because I forgot to put shorts on.

So what higher intensity workout did I do?

Zumba? Nope. CrossFit? Nooo. P90X? Nope. Boot Camp Workout? No. Spinning? Not sure what that is. Tae Bo? I’m afraid to accidentally get hit in the face. Nintendo Wii Fit? Too lazy to find out where my Wii is collecting dust. Sweatin’ to the Oldies? I do not own a VCR.

Instead of doing any of those recent trendy workouts, I decided to do a trendy workout from the mid-17th century called jogging. Usually, I do three 16-minute miles when walking. But when I jogged, I huffed and puffed and ended up doing two 10-minute miles. After coming home, catching my breath, and feeling the burn in my legs, I poured myself two glasses of water, squeezed MiO Fit Arctic Grape into one, squeezed MiO Fit Berry Blast into the other, and rehydrated myself.

MiO Fit Arctic Grape smells and tastes like a particular powdered grape drink. Oh yeah! Its mouthfeel isn’t like other MiO varieties; it’s a bit more syrupy. The artificial sweeteners are noticeable and there’s also a very slight saltiness at the back end, thanks to the 75 milligrams of sodium in each serving. But those milligrams of sodium are your electrolytes and they are what plants crave. Overall, if you’re looking for something tasty and sweet to rehydrate, you can’t go wrong with MiO Fit Arctic Grape. Rhyming!

As for MiO Fit Berry Blast, its use of the color teal takes me back to the 90s when it seemed every new professional sports team used the color (San Jose Sharks, Jacksonville Jaguars, Charlotte Hornets, and Florida Marlins). Berry Blast smells a little like a Louie-Bloo Raspberry Otter Pop and has a light artificial raspberry-ish flavor. It has the same mouthfeel, artificial sweetener aftertaste, and saltiness as Arctic Grape, but it’s not as tasty.

MiO Fit Arctic Grape and Berry Blast made water taste better, helped me rehydrate, and filled me with electrolytes, but I’m not sure it’s meant for serious athletes. I looked up what Gatorade provides and compare it with MiO Fit and what I learned was that while MiO Fit has zero calories and electrolytes, it doesn’t provide carbohydrates, which athletes need to refuel, and protein, which helps rebuild muscle and is found in Gatorade varieties that deal with recovery.

While I don’t think MiO Fit is for serious athletes, it would make it easier for sports teams to celebrate a big win. Instead of dumping a water cooler full of Gatorade and ice on a head coach to celebrate a championship, the players can squirt MiO Fit.

Disclosure: The Impulsive Buy received free MiO Fit samples from MiO. Probably because we’re awesome or maybe, because we eat so much junk food, they think we need incentive to exercise. Well, if their goal was to get me to exercise…goal accomplished!

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 tsp. – 0 calories, 0 grams of trans fat, 75 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 10% niacin, 10% vitamin B6, and 10% vitamin B12.)

Item: MiO Fit Liquid Water Enhancer (Arctic Grape and Berry Blast)
Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 1.62 fl. oz.
Purchased at: Received from MiO
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Arctic Grape)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Berry Blast)
Pros: Both flavors made water taste better, which really isn’t that hard. It’s got electrolytes. Inserting Idiocracy electrolyte references into reviews of products that have electrolytes. One bottle makes 18 eight-ounce servings. Exercise.
Cons: Artificial sweeteners are noticeable. Probably not meant for serious athletes. Plants do not crave electrolytes. Slight saltiness. Doesn’t provide any carbs or protein.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos

March 6, 2013August 30, 2023 Jeff 10 Comments

Best team-up of 2012!!!

No, I’m not talking about The Marvel Comics cinematic universe. I’m also not speaking about the Hawaii Five-O/NCIS: Los Angeles crossovers that had more hunks of meat than the Fast and the Furious series. While strength is normally greater in numbers, sometimes a duo will do nicely. In 2012, my dreams of Taco Bell and Doritos joining forces came into fruition.

Abbott and Costello. Andy Bell and Vince Clarke. Peanut butter and jelly. Vodka and texting. However, they all dwarf next to the perfect combo known as Doritos and Taco Bell. Both calorie-powered behemoths teamed up to have dirty fiscal sex and birthed out last year’s much lauded (or derided depending on your view) Taco Bell’s Doritos Locos Taco.

“Hey Doritos Locos Tacos, you’re going to have a little brother!” the Taco Bell executive said softly as the taco was being drenched with Fire sauce. “How’s that for a surprise?”

“A brother?” said the taco sheepishly tinged with suspicion while being hoisted up in the air. “Hmm…I never had a brother before!!!” The Doritos Locos taco grinned at the thought while wiping the Fire sauce from its eyes.

“We can be best buds and plaaaaaaaaaayyayaya-aaaaarrrrgggggggggghhhh…” Doritos Locos Tacos screamed while being eaten alive. “…it will be fuuunnn-aaarrrrararararaaaaaaaaaaaaa…”

Oh yes, original nacho cheese Doritos Locos Tacos, it will be fun.

I was quietly excited by the news and thought to myself, “Could Taco Bell top last year’s arguably successful Locos Tacos?” By stuffing all that wet yumminess in a Cool Ranch Doritos taco shell, how could it go wrong? I was pretty happy as the taco was going to feature my favorite flavor, Cool Ranch. I’ve always love you long time Cool Ranch.

Sure, I’m a sucker for some of the other fringe tastes. I loved the Mountain Dew and X-13D Doritos flavors. Yet in a world of spicy-hang-ten-pizza-jacked-cheese-doubledongs, you pull for the old reliables once in a while. Whether that’s a worn out Pixies t-shirt or a tattered copy of the Art of Robotech, you’re always going to romance the familiar. And with Doritos, mine is Cool Ranch. That flavor fires my nostalgia synapses into overdrive.

This new Locos Tacos is akin to the sequel everybody wants, but will this be Die Hard 2 or It’s a Great Day to Die Hard with My Socks On (or whatever the hell it’s called). Either way, I’m going to get them. My thoughts are definitely jumped the gun before I’ve even tasted one but how can those flavors not complement each other? Don’t disappoint me dammit!!!

I plugged in the new Kavinsky album to enhance that 80’s feel as I drove my souped up vintage Hyundai. Nostalgia ran high as I hoped the Cool Ranch Doritos were getting the respect it deserved. I bought one of each, the standard version and the flamboyant Taco Supreme version that winked at me and blew me a kiss as ABBA’s “Mamma Mia” unexpectedly chimed in the background. Oh yeah, you know what I want.

Taco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos

The ordinary Taco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos was filled with beef, lettuce and cheddar cheese encased in a Cool Ranch Doritos shell. The texture was nice with the cold crisp lettuce and the rich beef swimming in its sauce with shreds of cheese. My first bite was a big mouthful as the beef penetrated the lettuce and cheese. However, I couldn’t taste the Cool Ranch Doritos at all. It tasted like an ordinary taco and in disbelief I ate a piece of the shell. The shell was definitely a Cool Ranch Doritos but lacked that zesty punch those chips are known for. Subsequent bites made me slightly disappointed enough to quit eating it.

Yes, it’s a decent taco but that flagrant in-your-face Cool Ranch is absent. If eaten alone, you will realize the shell itself is the problem because it is so faint in flavor. I questioned if the supreme version would even be worth it.

Taco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos Supreme

We all know the Taco Supreme’s ingredients, but let me refresh your memory. This taco is filled with beef, lettuce, cheddar cheese, tomato, and the coup de grace — reduced fat sour cream. I’m not sure how to explain this and I’m not a chemist, alchemist, or whatever cosplay scientist roaming the sweaty aisles of some Comicon but…the Taco Bell sour cream is the story of legends. I don’t know what it really is made of but I’m sure it can simultaneously bring together our country’s divided political houses, make you forget your spiteful parents, and force The Smiths to reunite.

You see, I could actually taste the Cool Ranch Doritos this time. I ate the shell alone just to ensure it was the same. Yep, exact flaccid Cool Ranch Doritos taste. However, when eaten together…the taco’s beef and crisp lettuce combined with that sour cream was just so good. I’m not sure why, but I suspect the sour cream carries the Cool Ranch flavor better. Texture aside, which again cold and hot combined created an instant gratification, the taco supreme brought the Cool Ranch to the forefront. It’s still not as aggressive as I want, but it was nice.

As a fan of the Taco Bell/Doritos combo, I hope Taco Bell chooses to explore more varieties. However, I’ll take what I can and be satisfied with the Taco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos Supreme. Unfortunately, the ordinary version is right up there with Die Harder with The Hot Chick from Scott Pilgrim.

(Nutrition Facts – Taco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos – 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 mg of cholesterol, 350 mg of sodium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 1 gram of sugars and 8 grams of protein. Taco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos Supreme – 200 calories, 12 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 mg of cholesterol, 370 mg of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of sugars and 9 grams of protein)

Other Taco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos reviews:
Grub Grade
Brand Eating

Item: Taco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos
Purchased Price: $1.39 (Regular), $1.69 (Supreme)
Purchased at: Taco Bell
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Regular)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Taco Supreme)
Pros: The crisp lettuce, the rich seasoned beef and that damned fine sour cream. Robotech. Cool Ranch Doritos. Sour cream brings the Cool Ranch Doritos flavor to the forefront. Kavinsky.
Cons: The Cool Ranch Doritos shell lacks that zesty punch. Die Hards 3 to 27. Typing “Taco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos” so many times gave me carpal tunnel. Cosplay. I can’t stress how sad I was that the shell was weak. Being eaten alive can’t be fun.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 3/6/2013

March 6, 2013December 24, 2020 Marvo 5 Comments

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers.

So does having cake-flavored ice cream with cake on the same plate mean I can have my cake and eat it too? (Spotted by Adam at Weis Markets.)

Is it just me or do other people have nightmares that involve being chased by the Skinny Cow mascot who is carrying liposuction equipment and screaming, “I’ll show moo how I got skinny!”? (Spotted by Adam at Weis Markets.)

No, seriously. That Skinny Cow mascot freaks me out. Whenever I buy a Skinny Cow product, I get a White Out pen or a thick Sharpie and color over it. (Spotted by Adam at Weis Markets.)

The drizzled cream cheese-flavored frosting looks like strings used to tighten a corset. It’s as if it’s saying,”Eat me to get skinny or wear a corset to look skinny!” Or maybe I’m thinking they look like corset strings because I like to act out scenes from my Fifty Shades of Grey fan fiction. (Spotted by Adam at Weis Markets.)

Thank you Adam for the photos! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf (or really unusual), snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Scooby-Doo! Cereal (2013)

March 6, 2013August 14, 2023 Matt 5 Comments

I’m in college and during the week, I eat copious amounts of fried foods at the dining hall. On the weekends, I consume my body weight in ramen and pizza. Sure, I’ll admit that I’m a little ashamed of falling victim to such a stereotypical college diet, but I decided this past weekend that I could change.

I started by reforming breakfast, the most important meal of the day. Leaving my spot in the all-you-can-eat bacon line, I dared to visit my local supermarket in search of one of these “healthy” cereals which I see advertised so frequently on television. The commercials assured me that by switching to a more hearty cereal, I could lower my cholesterol and receive my recommended daily value of vitamins and minerals.

And so, I found myself walking down the cereal aisle, scanning the shelves for my dream cereal. Cheerios? Too dry. Raisin Bran? Tasteless. Total? Well, that might actu–

OH MY GOD! SCOOBY-DOO! THAT BOX HAS SCOOBY-DOO ON IT!

Yes, I visited the grocery store with the intention of purchasing one of the healthier cereals, but I left with a box of Kellogg’s new Scooby-Doo! cereal. Don’t judge me.

I shouldn’t feel too guilty, though. The box assures me that by eating Scooby-Doo cereal, I’ll receive fifty percent of the daily recommended amount of whole grain. Furthermore, the cereal’s a “good source of vitamin D” and an “excellent source of iron.” I’ll admit that the nutritional content was not what attracted me to this cereal. No sir. It was Scooby’s ridiculous grin. I mean, look at that dog. He obviously loves this cereal so much that his tongue swelled up and can no longer fit inside his mouth. Poor Scooby has macroglossia.

I quickly raced home and cracked open the box, craving some “crispy lightly sweetened vanilla flavored cereal.” The first thing I noticed was the smell. Have you ever opened up a box of graham crackers and taken a whiff? It’s the same kind of experience. There were subtle hints of vanilla in the scent as well.

Pouring the cereal into a bowl, I quickly realized that what I was about to eat looked remarkably similar to dog kibble. The crunchy dog bone shapes definitely resemble what Overlord Bark-Bark III eats for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. (And yes, that’s the name of my dog.)

But what’s this? No marshmallows? How disappointing! Whenever I purchase a cereal with a cartoon character on the box, I fully expect it to include marshmallows. This is clearly a drawback. That being said, some people might consider the lack of marshmallows to be a good thing. These people need their heads examined.

It was time for the taste test. I’m a firm believer in experiencing a cereal both with and without milk in order to become better acquainted with its full range of flavors.

When consumed dry, Scooby-Doo cereal provides a very satisfying crunch similar in texture to Cap’n Crunch cereal. The flavor is best described as a slight graham cracker taste with hints of that imitation vanilla flavor that’s so commonly found in cereals. Overall, the taste is quite pleasant. Not too sweet, not too overpowering.

Sadly, when milk was added to my bowl, the cereal lost much of its flavor. It didn’t seem as pronounced; the milk masked much of the strong graham cracker taste. However, the crunchiness was in full effect. Rest assured, the milk did not diminish the crunchification one bit.

So what’s the verdict? Honestly, this is not one cereal I would purchase again. Although its dry flavor is satisfying, it clearly loses something when eaten with milk. There are other cereals out there that rock my taste buds with or without milk. Furthermore, it lacks marshmallows and resembles dog kibble. Do you really want to eat something that looks like dog food?

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cup (cereal only) – 120 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 110 milligrams of sodium, 95 milligrams of potassium, 27 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 6 grams of sugars, and 3 grams of protein.)

Item: Kellogg’s Scooby-Doo! Cereal
Purchased Price: $3.59
Size: 12 oz.
Purchased at: ShopRite
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Macroglossia. No marshmallows. Stays crunchy in milk. Decent dry flavor. Not too sweet.
Cons: Resembles dog kibble. No marshmallows. Loses flavor in milk.

ANNOUNCEMENT: New Reviewer Matt

March 5, 2013December 24, 2020 Matt 3 Comments

Helloooooo, nurse! My name is Matt, and I’ll be contributing the occasional food review to this here website. I hope you’re ready to impulsively buy all the delicious edibles that I will be impulsively eating. (Get it? Because the name of the website is…? Oh, nevermind.)

I’m a proud resident of New Jersey and a student of Rutgers University. I’m currently studying computer science and mathematics, but food has always been a passion of mine. I enjoy the finer things in life, such as McRibs, fat sandwiches, and deep-fried Oreos. It’s a miracle that I don’t weigh three hundred pounds.

My desire to write about food spawned from my unhealthy obsession with researching junk food more frequently than any sane person should. My friends became tired of hearing me rattle off the names of unusual Japanese Kit Kat flavors. I received strange looks when describing the effects of Twinkie Overdose Syndrome. My colleagues shunned me as I mourned the loss of the Nestlé Wonder Ball. I hope I will be able to share this fervent food fascination with the community on The Impulsive Buy.

One of my goals in life is to eat McSpaghetti, a dish found exclusively at McDonald’s restaurants located in the Philippines. And no, I’m afraid that Jollibee spaghetti is not going to cut it. I want the real deal.

You can find my personal food website at Snacken.net. I promise that the food reviews I post on The Impulsive Buy won’t be as strange as the ones found over there.

Actually, I retract that promise. Got a problem?

Basic