REVIEW: Popcorn, Indiana Classic Popcorn (Movie Theater Popcorn, Cinnamon Sugar Kettlecorn, and Sweet and Tangy BBQ Kettlecorn)

Popcorn, Indiana Movie Theater Popcorn

All things considered, I abhor going to the movie theatre. Chalk it up to a lifetime of being, shall we say, vertically “challenged,” or trace it back to one too many awkward 8th grade dates, but either way you slice it I’d just as soon skip the peering around tall peoples’ shoulders and not replay memories of my 14-year-old awkwardness. Besides, a steady diet of kids’ cereal and Coke Zero keeps my attention span short, so much so that I tend to lose interest in things even before the Raisinets stop dancing (wait, do they still do that?)
 
Needless to say, I haven’t endeared myself the American cinema. But that’s not to say I wouldn’t walk into a movie theatre. I just wouldn’t go in for the movie. No, I’d go for the popcorn.
 
Few things in the world are as addictive as movie theatre popcorn, and to my knowledge, almost none of those things are legal. Considering a large popcorn from AMC packs nearly 60 grams of saturated fat before a refreshing shower under the butter pump, and we might soon be seeing the end of that as well. That’s okay though, because thanks to some place called Popcorn, Indiana, I can partake in the buttery and salty crunch of popped kernels without having to change my current relationship with theaters or pump liquid heart attack into my veins.
 

Popcorn, Indiana Classic Popcorn New Jersey

I’m not sure where exactly Popcorn, Indiana is. Considering the bags they sent me came from New Jersey, I’m not exactly sure what to think. Typically speaking, I don’t get too caught up in snacking according to the bag’s suggestions, but in this case I took Popcorn, Indiana’s advice and decided to put on my favorite flick. Choosing to relive the carnage of the Battle of Hoth from the comfort of my own recliner, I popped in the Empire Strikes Back DVD and broke out my sample bag of their Movie Theater Butter.
 

Popcorn, Indiana Classic Popcorn Movie Theater Popcorn Closeup

Let’s just say that even before the ellipses following “a galaxy far, far, away” had faded, my bag was half empty. Clearly, this was the sign of an addictive snack. The crunch is lighter than those off-putting microwaved popcorns, while the flavor is simple but classic. Like sweet cream butter over corn on the cob there’s just a richly satisfying and milky sweet taste to each piece, which, thanks to a liberal application of superfine salt, commands your fingers to an almost automatic motion of stuffing your face. The taste only intensifies as you pass over the busted shards of what was once the kernel, with the golden hues bringing you closer to the quintessence of butter. Dare I say, this is more buttery than a bear hug from Paula Deen, and even before the Imperial probe droid found itself smashing into the frozen tundra housing the rebel base, I had all but finished my bag, pausing only to satiate the primal need to lick my fingers.
 

Popcorn, Indiana Classic Popcorn Cinnamon Sugar and Sweet and Tangy BBQ

Finding myself at an impasse in my home theatre experience, I decided to check out the other two samples Englewood, New Jersey Popcorn, Indiana sent me. I have to say, I was impressed on both accounts.

Popcorn, Indiana Classic Popcorn Cinnamon Sugar Kettlecorn Closeup

The Cinnamon Sugar Kettlecorn is a bit lighter than the Movie Theatre Butter, and lacks the richness and salty undertones of the latter. But it’s admirably sweet and bursting with crunchy cinnamon specks, far surpassing any microwaved kettlecorn I’ve ever tried. Unfortunately it lacks a real ballpark sweetness, a point which kept me from downing the entire bag.

Popcorn, Indiana Classic Popcorn Sweet and Tangy BBQ Kettlecorn Closeup

That wasn’t the case with the Sweet and Tangy BBQ Kettlecorn. I didn’t pick up so much on the tang, but a smokey flavor which hits you right off the back and a piquant backheat make a tremendous foil for the sweet tomato-based BBQ powder. Like Boba Fett keeps you off guard throughout The Empire Strikes Back, the salty-sweet-spicy-smokey taste manages to intrigue you to ponder a more unique backstory.
  
My only complaint is the obvious health halo surrounding a company which bills itself as being “wildly fanatical about healthier, whole grain snacking.” That’s all well and good, but after downing a 560 calorie “sample” bag of their Movie Theater Butter popcorn even before General Veers is done vaping the shield generator (not to mention polishing off the Sweet and Tangy BBQ bag) – let’s just say moving on to the “grown up” bag they sell in stores might not be such a step up nutritionally from the theatre experience. But given that it won’t come with awkward memories and a cramped neck, I’ll take it.

(Editor’s Note/Disclaimer/Reason To Use Forward Slashes – Popcorn, Indiana samples were provided by the PR firm that represents Popcorn, Indiana. We did not receive any monetary compensation for this review. Although, to be honest, I would totally sellout for $1 million, which, of course, I would totally disclose to the FTC…and the IRS.)

(Nutrition Facts – Movie Theater Butter – 2 cups – 160 calories, 12 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein. Cinnamon Sugar Kettlecorn – 2.5 cups – 130 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein. Sweet and Tangy BBQ Kettlecorn – 2.5 cups – 130 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: REVIEW: Popcorn, Indiana Classic Popcorn (Movie Theater Popcorn, Cinnamon Sugar Kettlecorn, and Sweet and Tangy BBQ Kettlecorn)
Price: FREE
Size: 3.5 ounces
Purchased at: Received from nice PR folks
Rating: 9 out of 10 (Movie Theater Butter)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Cinnamon Sugar Kettlecorn)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Sweet and Tangy BBQ Kettlecorn)
Pros: All that natural junk that won’t kill me. Movie Theatre Butter has a strong sweet cream butter taste. Licking salt from your fingers. Light crunch with no chance of burning in the microwave. BBQ is smokey and spicy, like Boba Fett. AT-AT domination #getsomeGeneralVeers.
Cons: All that natural junk which won’t kill me as fast. Hugging Paula Deen. Kettlekorn could use more sweetness. Not really getting the tang in the BBQ. Geographic confusion. Billy Dee Williams’ mustache.

REVIEW: Burger King Fruit Smoothies (Strawberry Banana and Tropical Mango)

Burger King Smoothies (Tropical Mango and Strawberry Banana)

Wendy’s just overtook Burger King to become the second largest burger chain in the US in terms of sales. So no longer can Burger King say, “First is the worst, second is the best, and third is the nerd with the hairy chest.”

However, Burger King can now say, “Number one tastes like piss, number two tastes like poop, and number three tastes like paradise.” Although, if humans evolve and we end up producing a third human waste, Burger King might want to drop down to number four.

What caused Burger King to lose their place as the distant runner-up to McDonald’s in the burger world? I’m no business analyst, but it might’ve been their advertising, which included the cold plastic eyes of The King. Or it could’ve been their chicken fries.

To turn their fortunes around and become a distant second to McDonald’s again, Burger King has introduced a number of McDonald’s-like products, such as their new fruit smoothies.

These smoothies are made using real fruit, low-fat yogurt, and ice, and come in two flavors, Strawberry Banana and Tropical Mango.

I didn’t get a chance to see how the smoothies were made, but I assume it’s the same process McDonald’s uses, which involves shooting ice and a smoothie mix that consists mostly of fruit puree into a blender, and then letting the blender’s blades do their magic.

If you’re curious to know what those smoothie mixes are made out of, continue reading this paragraph. If not, I would suggest skipping it, and continue reading after the “BOOYAH!” The strawberry banana smoothie mix is made up of banana puree, strawberry puree, sugar syrup, strawberry puree concentrate, water, concentrated grape juice, natural flavors, concentrated carrot juice, xanthan gum, pectin, guar gum, and CMC gum. The tropical mango smoothie mix consists of water, sugar syrup, concentrated grape juice, apple puree concentrate, concentrated pear juice, mango puree concentrate, concentrated pineapple juice, concentrated orange juice, concentrated apple juice, concentrated passion fruit juice, natural & artificial flavors, xanthan gum, pectin, guar gum, cellulose gum, beta carotene, and citric acid.

BOOYAH!

Burger King Smoothies (Tropical Mango and Strawberry Banana) Closeup

In order to help me prepare for when I have multiple children, I will pick a favorite between the two Burger King Smoothie flavors and then shower it with love and praise.

If you don’t have the bladder capacity to consume both smoothies in one sitting, I’d suggest purchasing the Tropical Mango flavor first, because it’s by far my favorite of the two.

Although it contains enough fruit varieties to qualify as a fruit stand (see paragraph before “BOOYAH!”), I mainly taste mango and orange. The mango, surprisingly, tastes fresh, while the orange tastes orangy. The Burger King Tropical Mango smoothie is quite tasty and a little toothachingly sweet, but I do think the McDonald’s Mango Pineapple Smoothie is slightly better and more tropical tasting.

As for the Burger King Strawberry Banana smoothie, the banana and strawberry flavors are equally balanced and I think it’s pleasant tasting, but it doesn’t make me yearn for another like the tropical mango does. Let me put it this way, the BK Tropical Mango Smoothie is fun, like chasing a rainbow after taking a few bong hits, while the BK Strawberry Banana Smoothie is adequate, like a Cup Noodles is for lunch.

To be honest, it’s nice to see a few more healthy-ish item in the sea of burgers and fried food otherwise known as the Burger King menu board. But will smoothies help Burger King retake second place in the fast food burger world?

(Nutrition Facts – small size/12 ounces – Strawberry Banana – 200 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 20 milligrams of sodium, 48 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 40 grams of sugar, and 1 grams of protein. Tropical Mango – 210 calories, 0.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 51 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 41 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Burger King Fruit Smoothies (Strawberry Banana and Tropical Mango)
Price: $2.99
Size: Small/12 ounces
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Strawberry Banana)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Tropical Mango)
Pros: Cool. Tropical Mango is tasty. Made with low-fat yogurt and real fruit (puree and juice). Doesn’t have 1,000 milligrams of sodium like Burger King’s other new menu items. Chasing rainbows after smoking weed.
Cons: Strawberry Banana is adequate. Tropical Mango is toothachingly sweet. Tropical Mango isn’t as good as McDonald’s counterpart. Bladders that can’t handle drinking two smoothies in a row. Picking a favorite child. The lifeless eyes of The King.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 3/21/2012

New products are released all the time and here are some we found on our most recent shopping trips. We may or may not review them, but we’d like to let you know what new items are popping up on store shelves.

Starbucks Refreshers

Starbucks Refreshers were originally tested in uncanned form at limited Starbucks locations in 2010 and available nationwide during Summer 2011. Now they’re available in canned form and in three flavors: Orange Melon, Raspberry Pomegranate, and Strawberry Lemonade. The beverage combines fruit juice with “natural energy from green coffee extract,” but doesn’t look or taste like coffee. Each can is made up 25 percent juice, has 50 milligrams of panax ginseng, and a number of B vitamins. As for caffeine, the cans don’t say. HOW CAN THEY NOT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL! Sorry, I haven’t had my caffeine fix yet, so I’m a little grumpy.

Mallow Bits

Instead of saying would you like more marshmallows with your hot cocoa, I’d like to say would you like more hot cocoa with your marshmallows, and Kraft’s new Jet-Puffed Mallow Bits will allow me to do so. After a quick Google search, I learned that these tiny marshmallows that would make horrible marshmallow gun ammunition have been around for a couple of months, but this is the first time I’ve run into them. Jet-Puffed Mallow Bits come in two flavors: vanilla and peppermint

New Dove Men + Care

Hey! More Dove Men + Care body and face wash options! But I still can’t use it to wash my hair like I can with products from Old Spice and Nivea. If I can use Dove Men + Care on my chest hair, arm hair, leg hair, armpit hair, genital hair, back hair, and toe hair, why can’t I use it for my head hair?

Lays Classic BLT

Photo via Impulsive Buy reader Gary.

I think Lay’s Classic BLT potato chips are new. I’m not sure because in the back of my mind I think I’ve seen Lay’s BLT potato chips when I was younger. Or maybe Walkers in the UK made BLT crisps. I don’t know. To be honest, whether or not they’re new is something I’m not too interested in. What I’d like to know is whether these BLT chips have some lettuce flavor.

Arbys Curly Fries

Photo via Impulsive Buy reader Gary.

Have you ever wanted to enjoy Arby’s curly fries at home without having to leave your house? I haven’t, but if I did, I now have the option with this bag of frozen Arby’s seasoned curly fries. According to the bag, we can heat up some of their “world famous fries, anytime!” I’m going to go out on a limb here and say they’re probably not world famous since there are Arby’s locations in only seven countries. And last time I checked, seven countries don’t make a world. If anyone gets to say “world famous fries,” it’s McDonald’s, which is in 119 countries.

Pez-Presidents

Photo via Impulsive Buy reader Gary.

Hmm…Let’s see if I know my US Presidents. George Washington is on the one dollar bill and was our first white US president. John Adams was the second President of the United States and, I think, he made beer. Thomas Jefferson was one of the authors of the Declaration of Independence and had sex with his slaves. James Monroe might be Marilyn Monroe’s great great grandfather. And, James Madison’s spirit gets upset when school children get confused between him and James Monroe.

If you’re out shopping and see a new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, email it to us at [email protected], and you might see it in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW: Burger King Chicken B.L.T. Garden Fresh Salad

Burger King Chicken B.L.T. Garden Fresh Salad

All things considered, there’s really nothing stranger than walking into a Burger King and getting green ketchup. Scratch that. On second thought, walking into a vintage 1950s decorated Burger King with booths shaped like cars and getting green ketchup, while staring at an obnoxiously large LCD menu board pulled from The Jetsons, might just qualify.

These oddities notwithstanding, my purchase of a salad at Burger King clearly puts this scenario in the realm of the SyFy channel.

Burger King, as you’re probably well aware, is attempting to revamp its menu to draw closer to a certain fast food giant which boasts a smiling clown as its spokesman. Ditching its previous botox-injected spokesman of questionable royal bloodlines, Burger King has also revamped its menu to diversify its offering. How diverse are we talking? Lets just say it includes drinks that rhyme with how I’d assume the French to pronounce “crappy,” as well as lettuce. Lots and lots of lettuce.

Burger King Chicken B.L.T. Garden Fresh Salad Closeup

Seven kinds to be exact, which, along with a whole bunch of other fun vegetables, are offered in the new B.L.T. Garden Fresh Salad.

Putting on the man pants and ordering the $5.49 salad, I got the distinct impression that the staff of this particular Burger King doesn’t often prepare salads. I only say this because the girl taking my order had to check what exactly was in the salad when I asked her, and even after verification, presented me with a crouton packet, Caesar dressing, as well as a cup for soda — none of which should have been included in my order. Likewise, an essential component of the Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato acronym was missing, although five perfectly ripe and juicy grape tomatoes were delivered to me in an extra cup after half my salad was eaten and my own spelling shortcomings realized.

Burger King Chicken B.L.T. Garden Fresh Salad Chicken

You’d think that after such an auspicious start I’d be loath to partake in this feast of classical “Health Halo” consequence, but in the interest of complete objectivity, I have to say it shows promise as permanent menu item. It starts with the chicken, which — while only offered to me in the grilled variety — had a seriously and none-to-fake chargrill taste. Moderately juicy and marinated in a lip-smacking glaze, it may have qualified as salty, but it didn’t come across as saline injected or overly enhanced.

Burger King Chicken B.L.T. Garden Fresh Salad Chicken Closeup

The bacon, too, was quite good by fast food standards. Its thick and meaty with a dominant smoke flavor, although I’d prefer the pieces to have been reheated or freshly grilled, as to release some of that chewy fat into a glorious natural vinaigrette of bacon drippings. Such a scenario would have aided in the melting of these three-cheese blend, which while adding a moderate amount of flavor and salt, was otherwise just there.

Burger King Chicken B.L.T. Garden Fresh Salad Dressing

I honestly was quite surprised in how much I enjoyed the dressing. Having only known one Ken in my life (the victim of childhood G.I. Joe raids on my sister’s Barbie gatherings) I didn’t know what to expect from Ken’s Avocado Ranch, but it manages to combine a fantastic buttermilk tang with a peppery and slightly sweet kick. While the 170 calories in a single pack won’t endear it to the diet crowd, it does serve its flavor purpose as a foil to the otherwise meaty and smokey overtones of the salad, which, after applying tomatoes, also received a hint of sweet relief to go with the buttery and bitter lettuce crunch. Were all seven lettuces present and accounted for? Well, having slept through most of my Plants in Civilization class during my senior year of college, I cannot verify this with absolute certainty. But there was clearly more than just iceberg, which for a dude buying a salad at Burger King is not half bad.

Clearly, Burger King has some work to do in the execution department of this salad. And while any review of a fast food salad begs the proverbial viability question in a market which can see me blow 500 calories for something cheaper and, to some extent, much more tasty, there is also something to be said for offering items that appeal to a larger audience. For the time being though, I’d make these suggestions:

1) Lighten up the dressing
2) Include more tomato
3) Get more from the red onions

If those three issues can be corrected then this salad is worth your time even if you’re not in the salad crowd. Heck, if the bacon can be rendered a bit further and served warm and crispy with fat drippings, then this salad is worth your time even if your definition of salad hereto now includes only the pickles and onions on your burger. But before any of this happens, Burger King has got to get its crews up to speed, and teach them to associate the “sculpted Roman head guy” with croutons, and the acronym B.L.T. with, among other things, tomatoes.

As for that interior decorating, I’ve seriously got nothing.

(Nutrition Facts – One salad with Tendergrill chicken and Avocado Ranch Dressing – 510 calories, 33 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 125 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,610 milligrams of sodium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of sugar, and 42 grams of protein.)

Item: Burger King Chicken B.L.T. Garden Fresh Salad
Price: $5.49
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Surprisingly flavorful and juicy chicken. Smokey and thick-cut, ribbony bacon. Ken’s Avocado Ranch gives all Kens a good name. Cheese is slightly melty. Tomatoes had good sweetness. Protein power.
Cons: Costs more than one of those Chefy burgers. Total assembly failage. Having to correct people at their jobs. A buttload of salt. Where the hell did that trans fat come from? Five tomatoes is too little. Curios interior decorating.

ANNOUNCEMENT: New Impulsive Buy Reviewer Adam

Hola, Impulsive Buy readers.
 
I’m Adam, and as the newest member of the The Impulsive Buy team, I’ll be subverting your all too worthwhile endeavor of kicking the “Latte factor” purchases in your life, further playing havoc to your personal economy and giving your mother yet another reason to say “I told you so,” at those dreaded family functions we call “dinner.”

I suppose this is the time when I say something significant about myself to distinguish me from the myriad of other product reviewers on this site and others. Well, I won’t lie — I pretty much meet your standard definition of a blogger. Six years after diving into the world of blogging under the dubious premise of adding to my “portfolio” as a sports writer, I’ve been sucked into the crazy world of link dropping and taking pictures of dollar menu purchases, all the while making every effort to reference obscure Star Wars books and World War II battles. I’ll try to keep those to a minimum here, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t shamelessly plug my own faith and breakfast cereal inspired blog, Option Pitch and Waffle Crisp.  
 
As for my food philosophy, you only need to know three things.

1) I have a stash of French Toast Crunch and Waffle Crisp in my basement that I’m saving for the Cerealpocalypse. 

2) I could survive on a steady diet of boiled chicken liver and frozen peas if need be.

3) The only food I’ve ever found truly repulsive is the olive.  
 
Needless to say, I won’t be reviewing olives here. Anything else is fair game.