The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Ritz Crackerfuls Peanut Butter & Chocolate

May 17, 2012December 24, 2020 Marvo 12 Comments

If you’re a parent and you give your child a Ritz Crackerfuls Peanut Butter & Chocolate, you better make his or her bedtime a little later to make up for the mediocre snack you gave them. If you don’t, I hope he or she never hugs you again.

Sure, your kids won’t care, because they’re excited to get sugar, but by giving them this snack, you’re basically teaching them to settle, instead of demanding for something better. You wouldn’t want your child to settle for that woman who owns 24 cats or that guy who runs a product review blog, so why would you have them settle for a poor representation of the peanut butter and chocolate combination.

You’d think it’s impossible to mess up the merging of peanut butter and chocolate, which is the OG of sweet and salty combinations, but it tastes like Nabisco found a way. Maybe they have some kind of bet with Kellogg’s to see which company could make the least exciting peanut butter and chocolate product. The winner gets possession of the Cookie Cup, a bronzed cookie jar with the word “winner” etched into it.

The Ritz Crackerfuls Peanut Butter & Chocolate box brags about how it’s “Made with real peanut butter,” but it’s not made with really good peanut butter. In between the cracker sandwich are two pencil-thin lines of the not really good peanut butter and a thicker line of not really good chocolate. The peanut butter smells like the cheap store-brand stuff and has a gritty consistency. The flavor of the chocolate, which is creamier than the peanut butter, reminds me of the crappy chocolate in a Sixlet.

They say two wrongs make a right, but those two wrongs in between two buttery, long Ritz crackers make a long wrong. I expected the peanut butter and chocolate to have a robust flavor, but they ended up having as much flavor as the crackers, and at times the cracker’s buttery flavor somewhat masked the PB&C. These Ritz Crackerfuls have to be one of the least satisfying peanut butter and chocolate products my taste buds have ever experienced.

While eating the first one, I thought for a second maybe I just got a bad one in the box, kind of like how you get a bad grape in the bunch, but after the second and third ones, I forced myself to drive to the store and buy some Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups so my taste buds can remember what it’s like to have a peanut butter and chocolate combination that doesn’t suck.

Nabisco, which is owned by food and beverage conglomerate Kraft, could’ve used better quality stuff in this cracker sandwich, because Kraft also owns Planters, which makes peanuts and peanut butter, and Cadbury, which knows a thing or two about chocolate.

Usually the marriage of peanut butter and chocolate evokes excitement, but the Ritz Crackerfuls Peanut Butter & Chocolate don’t do it for me. They aren’t completely disgusting, but I don’t want to eat the rest. I have three of them left and I think I want to crush them with my feet so that I can listen to the crackers crumble under my body’s weight, because if they aren’t going to satisfy my sense of taste, I think they should at least satisfy my sense of hearing.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pack – 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 2 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 75 milligrams of potassium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

*made with partially hydrogenated oil

Item: Ritz Crackerfuls Peanut Butter & Chocolate
Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 6 pack
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Not completely disgusting. 6 grams of whole grain per serving. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
Cons: Crappy peanut butter. Crappy chocolate. One of the least exciting PB&C combination I’ve had. Settling for a mediocre PB&C experience. Allowing your child to experience Ritz Crackerfuls Peanut Butter & Chocolate. No hugs.

NEWS: Cold Stone Creamery Offers Retro Treats From A Time When Cold Stone Creamery Didn’t Exist

May 16, 2012August 14, 2023 Marvo

Hey, people who were born in the 1990s and make me feel old! You can enjoy Cold Stone Creamery ice cream treats inspired by the stuff your grandparents might’ve shared in the 1950s on a date at an ice cream parlor before going home and conceiving your parents.

For a limited time, Cold Stone is offering two retro-inspired ice cream flavors, Cherry Vanilla and Chocolate Malt. Each flavor is the base for two new Cold Stone Creations, Cherry Vanilla Cherry Pie (Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream with black cherries, graham cracker pie crust, and caramel) and Malt My Heart with Chocolate (Chocolate Malt Ice Cream with bananas, fudge, and whipped topping).

Cold Stone is also offering a line of desserts called Retro Classics, which include a Classic Hot Fudge Sundae, Classic Turtle Sundae, Classic Banana Royale, and Classic Root Beer Float. Don’t know what a Turtle Sundae or Banana Royale is? Ask your grandparents…or Wikipedia.

Cold Stone Creamery’s retro treats are available now through August 31 at all locations.

Image via flickr user samantha celera / CC BY ND 2.0

ANNOUNCEMENT: Looking for New Reviewer(s) (2012 Edition)

May 16, 2012December 24, 2020 Marvo 13 Comments

The Impulsive Buy is currently looking for enthusiastic, talented, funny, and self-motivated individuals to write processed food product reviews. We hope to bring on one new reviewer to write one or two reviews per month, but may hire a second.

Writer Requirements:

1. Must have a computer.
2. Must have a digital camera (or a very good camera on your smartphone).
3. Have spelling and grammar abilities equal to or greater than mine.
4. Have an ability to entertain people with words.

It’s a paid gig, but we won’t say how much we pay per review. However, we can say it’s enough for you to have a pizza party for one…maybe two.

If you would like to apply for the position, here’s what you’ll need to send:

Writing Samples:

1. One sample review in TIB format (nutrition facts, rating, price, pros, cons, etc at the bottom). The review can be about whatever food product you want. Just to let you know, we won’t be using the review on TIB. The sample review will help us determine if your writing style would be a good fit. To give you an idea of how long a TIB review is, they range from 400-1,000 words.

2. Photo(s) of the product you reviewed. (High quality versions, please!)

3. A bio and why you want to write for The Impulsive Buy.

A Few Notes:

1. Due to legal reasons, we can’t hire minors.

2. At this time, we’re not looking to add writers from outside the United States.

3. Please don’t send your review as an attachment. Copy and paste your writing samples into your email. However, you may send the photos as attachments.

To apply, please email your sample review, pictures, and bio to [email protected] with “Boom Shakalaka” in the subject line. The deadline to apply will be May 31st.

Thank you.

Marvo
Editor-in-Chief

Note: To those people wondering about guest reviews on TIB. So far, I’ve received 30+ emails from people who are interested in doing guest reviews. I still haven’t decided whether or not to have them on TIB, but I’m kind of leaning towards having them. But before I make a decision, I want to bring on a new paid reviewer. I’ll make a decision about guest reviews after the May 31st deadline passes.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 5/16/2012

May 16, 2012December 24, 2020 Marvo 9 Comments

Here are some new products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. We may or may not review them, but we’d like to let you know what new items are popping up. We’ll also occasionally throw in an unusual product.

Blue Bunny’s new line of Naturally Frozen Yogurt isn’t Greek, like the frozen yogurt from a particular Vermont company, but it’s 100 percent natural. The photo above only shows two flavors, Bordeaux Cherry Chocolate (Bordeaux cherry frozen yogurt mixed with dark cherry pieces and dark chocolate chunks) and Caramel Praline Crunch (butter pecan frozen yogurt with praline pecan pieces swirled with a salty caramel ribbon), but there’s also Vanilla Bean and Chocolate Vanilla Swirl. Thanks to Impulsive Buy reader greendaychick for the photo.

Can’t wait the 2.5-3 minutes to pop a bag of microwaveable popcorn? Well then, Orville Redenbacher’s now has something to satisfy your impatient soul — ready-to-eat popcorn. The bagged popcorn comes in four flavors: Sharp White Cheddar, Classic Kettle Korn, Farmhouse Cheddar, and Signature BBQ. Thanks to TIB reviewer Adam for the picture…and the next two pictures.

When I’m bored, I make couch mixes, which are like trail mixes, except they’re for people who don’t like to hike. They’re always made with M&M’s and I add whatever snacks are available around the kitchen, like cookies, nuts, and potato chips. The folks at Mars have started making their own snack mixes with M&M’s. They come in three varieties: the Milk Chocolate Snack Mix includes milk chocolate M&M’s, mini chocolate chip cookies, peanuts, and mini pretzels; the Dark Chocolate Snack Mix has dark chocolate M&M’s, raisins, almonds, and mini pretzels; and the Peanut Snack Mix is made up of Peanut M&M’s, mini shortbread cookies, almonds, and mini pretzels.

I remember when Goldfish crackers came in two flavors, original and cheddar. I. Am. Old. This latest edition to the Goldfish Graham line combines chocolate grahams, vanilla grahams, and a sprinkling of cream. Now that I think about it, this would make a wonderful couch mix addition.

Impulsive Buy reader Ben sent us this photo of Mrs. Renfro’s Ghost Pepper Salsa. Ghost chili peppers, which are also known as Bhut Jolokia chili peppers, are the world’s hottest chili peppers, and it’s frickin’ awesome that someone made a salsa using them. Mrs. Renfro’s Ghost Pepper Salsa isn’t a new product (it’s been around since 2010), but it’s new to me and it’s something I’d like to burn my digestive system with. Here’s a review at the Burn Blog.

If you’re out shopping and see a new product on the shelf (or really unusual), snap a picture of it, email it to us at [email protected] with “Spotted” in the subject line, and you might see it in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW: Nabisco Newtons Fruit Thins (Apple Cinnamon Oat and Lemon Crisp)

May 15, 2012July 19, 2023 Marvo 20 Comments

People love Nabisco Newtons Fruit Thins.

Actually, I don’t know how accurate that statement is because I’m basing it on the 60+ positive comments attached to our news post about them last year.

Those commenters sounded so excited about them that I’m surprised every single one of those comments weren’t all in caps and included excessive exclamation points!!!!!!! Here are some words they used to describe the cookies and how often they showed up.

The word “love” was used in 14 comments, “delicious” was used four times, “great” was used three times, “wonderful” was used three times, “awesome” was used four times, “good” was used four times, “can’t stop eating” was used three times, “new favorite” was used three times, “addictive” was used three times, “yummy” was used three times, and “yummola” was used once.

Despite all those positive adjectives and praise, I had yet to buy any Newtons Fruit Thins flavor until I picked up the newest varieties — Apple Cinnamon Oat and Lemon Crisp.

If you’re later than me to the Newtons Fruit Thins party, these aren’t like the soft, cake-like Newtons you might be used to. These are crispy cookies with bits of real fruit baked into them. But you shouldn’t consider Newtons Fruit Thins to be health food because the fruit in them provides no real nutritional benefits. Instead, you should think of them as a slightly healthier cookie substitute for other popular Nabisco cookies.

Let’s compare.

Three Chips Ahoy! cookies have 160 calories, 8 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of fiber, and 11 grams of sugar. Three Oreo cookies have 160 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of fiber, and 14 grams of sugar. But, three Apple Cinnamon Oat Newtons Fruit Thins have 140 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 1 gram of fiber, and 8 grams of sugar.

Oh, but nutrition facts aren’t the only difference. If high fructose corn syrup bothers you like the poor ratings of NBC’s Thursday night comedies bother me, then you’ll be happy to know Newtons Fruit Thins don’t have any, which can’t be said of the other two.

The aromas that wafted out from the Apple Cinnamon Oat and Lemon Crisp Newtons Fruit Thins packages made me wish Renuzit made air freshener cones that smelled as pleasant. Each cookie is shaped like a pastie and is two and a half inches in diameter, which is slightly bigger than a Chips Ahoy! cookie and significantly smaller than any clock that has hung from Flavor Flav’s neck.

With these cookies there are two different textures, the crunchiness of the oat cookie and the chewiness from either the dried lemon peel or dried apple baked into them. However, some of the cookies had dried lemon peel bits that were unpleasantly tough. My molars did not like. Even though the fruit pieces weren’t evenly distributed throughout the cookie, I could taste fruit in every bite. The Lemon Crisp had a pleasant citrus flavor that’s more sweet than tart, while the Apple Cinnamon Oat had a wonderful balance of fruit and spice, but both cookies don’t have an overwhelming flavor or sweetness.

Apple Cinnamon Oat and Lemon Crisp Newtons Fruit Thins are delightful…or in the words of commenters they’re delicious, great, wonderful, awesome, good, addictive, and yummy cookies that I can’t stop eating because I love them and they’re my new favorite cookie. Yummola.

(Nutrition Facts – 3 cookies – 140 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 45 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 7 or 8 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Nabisco Newtons Fruit Thins (Apple Cinnamon Oat and Lemon Crisp)
Price: $3.59 (on sale)
Size: 10.5 ounces/30 cookies
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Apple Cinnamon Oat)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Lemon Crisp)
Pros: Delightful. Made with real fruit. Not overwhelmingly sweet. Slightly healthier than popular Nabisco cookies. Pleasant aroma. Crunchy oat cookie. 8 whole grains per serving. Fruit flavor in every bite.
Cons: Some dried lemon peel pieces were a bit hard. The word “yummola.” Ratings of NBC’s Thursday night comedies. Blog comments all in caps. There aren’t any Renuzit baked goods air fresheners.

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